It was about the time I bought back a girl from a night out, had her naked on my bed with her being wet as all hell, and I still couldnt get a boner over the whole situation.
Im gutted. Any chance I thought I had at normalcy is slipping through my fingers. Whenever I think about banging a girl I feel nothing. Is this how normal people feel when animals are walking round naked in front of them!? The reason I bought home that chick was because I hoped something would change being in the moment, it didnt. It felt like a chore. On top of that I cant remember the last time I fapped to human porn.
So yeah thats my story so far. Does anyone else feel this way? Is this how it feels to be zoo exclusive? For the time being I'm just going to do the same thing I have for the last (almost) 10 years and hope something changes on its own...
In other news I saw an absolutely gorgeous gsd bitch at the park today.
Haha, you got a real laugh out of me.
I totally feel like you.
cheers buddy, Its nice to know I'm not alone.
I'm sorry you don't feel comfortable with the prospects you're faced with. It's not easy, but please do try to love yourself for who you are; there's no greater kindness you can give yourself. You can't voluntarily change who you are, and despite the inevitability of change itself, it doesn't come at your discretion or operate in ways that you can control.
As for zoo-exclusivity, it seems like a good example, even though that's probably not what you want to hear. I'm pretty well acquainted with being turned off by humans while longing for canine form. If it's any consolation, normality is overrated. If you're a person who needs human contact in order to remain sane, make sure you have good, strong friendships, but don't feel you're getting shortchanged by not having a human romantic/sexual partner. You're not, and the idealist longing for one could make you resent those around you if you don't try to appreciate what you can have, rather than wishing for what you can't.
Edit: rewording
yeah good advice, I've been trying this recently and I'm starting to feel a lot better about myself, but I still think things would be a lot less complicated if I were normal. Maybe its a case of the grass being greener. Theres probably some benefits to being able to talk to people without being put off if you're attracted to them.
Friends, yeah, Ive just moved country so maybe thats why I'm having such a hard time at the mo. It was definitely easier when I had all my friends to hang around with and take my mind off things. This part is a work in progress.
huh, I never thought about this. Youre basically saying I should count myself lucky to be able to love animals on a level that normal people cant even though its at the cost of being able to love a human on the same level. I'm going to think about this over the next few days. cheers.
Can I ask how you know when you've come to terms with it? Is it a sudden moment of clarity or is it a drawn out process?
Eh, kinda, but perspective is integral, so non-zoos wouldn't see the appeal and thus considering yourself lucky isn't really relevant, though do so if you wish. Just try to appreciate the sort of love your body wants you to have; don't consider it lesser just because it isn't accepted by society.
I don't think it's either sudden clarity or a drawn out process, because it's continually happening and constantly changing. It's an inexorable sequence; comfort and security come from being able to accept life's twists and turns, rather than simply getting used to a certain situation. For me, coming to terms with it was being able to see my situation and still breathe easily, and being able to do so continually requires dedicated self-assessment on a regular basis. Though one thing I consider to be important is trying to break the socially-ingrained habit of classifying yourself as 'not normal', as that pattern of thought arises from only viewing yourself through the eyes of others. Fuck that; it's detrimental to self-esteem.
ah man thanks for this, it helps a bunch. Ive been feeling a bit cut up recently thinking about my future and what kid of direction its going to take but this thread has made me feel better. I'm starting to realise I've still got a long way to go on this journey but its cool to know there are people in the same boat that will help you out if youre having a particularly hard time.
cheers buddy, see you around :)
I relate to the inner dialogue of that. Thanks for the courage of expressing .
I had a similar realization when I figured out that I'm gay. There's an awful lot of mixed feelings programmed into you via culture. In the end, you just have to embrace who you are, or at least come to terms with it.
I think I'm finding it hard to embrace because I cant actually talk to anyone IRL about it. I dont even want to talk about it to my closest mate for fear he'd never want to talk to me again. My other friends, even if they did keep in contact, I imagine this is the kind of thing that would permanently change their view of me.
I'd love to mention my persuasion everytime someone starts talking about relationships but I dont think we have that minimum required level of cultural acceptance just yet.
I was zoo-exclusive in my late teens, but furry porn served as a bridge to human sexuality.
see, this is the thing, I wasnt too fussed with being into this when I was a teenager as I figured it was just the new thing I found that was pretty hot. But now (at 23) I think Im pretty much past the experimental age and I figure now I am the way I am. It definitely feels a lot more hard wired now than it did a few years ago.
Better get a new username then. :)
lol! maybe...
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huh thats interesting. It'll be interesting to see what happens in another 10 years, but like I say, upon reflection I've been at least part zoophile for almost 10 years now. here's to the future though! I'll update in a few years and let you know if anythings changed ;)
Why does it strike you as normal to be with other people? I have been a zoophile since I was about 15, and I'm now about to be 23, and I don't think I will ever be able to look at other people as more than just friends, I don't get a stiffy thinking about women. Honestly, the last woman I was with (more for her sake than mine, she was upset, wanted a friend, one thing led to another) I WASN'T hard when having sex, nor did I cum, and keep in mind this was about an hour and a half into the act, she came quite a few times, she asked if something was wrong, I told her the truth (not the part about not being attracted, kinda skipped over that to spare her feelings). Just told her I was a zoophile, and she thought it was interesting, we got to talking, and an idea came to her, cause she wanted me to "get off" too, she said she'd suck me while her dog licked her... Last boner I've had with a woman :P
There's no shame in being something other than "normal". Why don't you try going with what feels right for a bit, rather than what you feel like is expected of you? See how it goes.
Think of it this way: You never have to worry about having a hot boss or coworker :)
lol, true, but then I work in engineering so the chances of that happening are already pretty slim :P
A moment of clarity hit me at age 18. I realized that I'd never be with horses if I were to accept what society wanted from me and ended everything. It became clear to me that accepting what I am was the key to moving forward. I now have a good job, friends, been married two decades have two mares I love dearly.
My zoo exclusive friends often describe to me feelings like you state in regards to being with a human. Sometimes it is just a matter of making that decision. 'Fer instance in my youth I was more bi than I am now. I had a male friend who insisted we lay in a bed together and he made many attempts to make me hard. He was delighted to see my erection until I gently pointed out the very pretty mare on the TV. His touch wasn't bad, but just wasn't sexual for me anymore. At that point, about age 25, my sexuality hasn't changed much. Hetro with humans, a little bi with horses.
Hope that helps.
lucky guy, sounds like its working out ok. I presume the OH knows about you and the horses, how did that convo come about?
I agree that accepting this part of me is pretty important, and I thought I had accepted it but it turned out I was merely avoiding the truth by saying I still liked human females. that night back at mine made me take a long hard look at myself in a way that made me rethink which direction my entire life was going. As always, time heals all so I'm feeling a lot better after a few days of thinking about it, although I would still like to grow up with a wife and raise a family, dog included. I get the feeling I'm either going to have to be pretty lucky or just accept I'm going to have to make some compromises somewhere down the line.
yup exactly. when the lass was blowing me I was just like..."eh". y'know?! god, writing that out is making me think back to that night, it was pretty surreal realising I wasnt turned on by it.
But yeah I'm not letting this get me down at all. I'm enjoying my job and I'm working on making myself the best I can be, we'll just see what happens in the future!
Confidence gives you a big leg up in life, act like you own the place and you will eventually. Luck is great if you take advantage of it.
My OH knows, but I didn't have to tell her, a mutual zoo friend introduced us so she already knew about me. We do talk regularly about it, and extensively before we got married. I have told several folks, those important to me and also my therapist(who has agreed that being zoo isn't a disease and doesn't feel it needs treatment in me as I am not being harmed or harming). No one I've told has been an issue, some are more the "that's nice, don't need to know anything else" conversations but it has always worked out. I am often surprised at how acceptable the lifestyle actually is. I do not talk to religious folks about it however.
As for making compromises, yep, that's just life, choose what is most important to you and go that way. Sometimes what is important changes, but mostly it is a matter of self-honesty. Be what you are, not what others think you should be. You'll end up being happy. I'd never recommend being zoo to anyone, it's not worth it, but I can be glad I are one.
youre right about the confidence thing and I feel I am pretty confident but I'm still apprehensive about going round letting everyone I meet know I'm a zoo. Maybe I should give it a go, I'm currently living in what I feel is a pretty tolerant city.
dude, I gotta admit, I'm a little envious of your position. You sound like you've got this factor in your life completely sorted out, something that seems like a pretty major task to me. I still get a little annoyed I turned out this way but I'm realising I'm happier when I do embrace it. I'm not expecting this to change overnight but hopefully one of these days I'll be able to be completely happy with myself.
I'm so glad I made this thread and said words that I needed to say, the people who've contributed have shown me some gems of knowledge that I hadn't thought about and it's been nice to get this issue off my chest without being judged by people who cant get their head around this kind of thing.
thanks man, means a lot.
One thing you don't have to do to be happy is tell everyone. I most certainly don't. Neither my parents nor my co-workers know. If people ask I am likely to say yes. Mostly though it is no ones business, I don't want to hear what my co-worker and his wife got up to the other night....
I'm glad talking about this has helped you. My last bit of advice, stay away from the porno, none of it is good, and for folks who are otherwise in control and not fence hopping, it's the only way they can catch you outside of an accidental outing, if such stuff is illegal where you are.
Also, time helps, I've been this a long time now, things that would have been the death of me at 20 are just brushed off today. *Edit to add last paragraph.
hmmm, you do make a good point... I'll see what I can do.
I'm late to post (as I always am), but I have empathy for you. I am zoo exclusive as well, this after being raised in a hardline Christian family. I don't think I've ever been turned on by human porn, and I can't even imagine how awkward an attempted night with a girl would be.
You're not alone, man. Hell, at least canines are an attainable lifestyle, unlike dolphins...
ha, oh yeah, I'm not gonna lie, it was pretty damn awkward. I'd have been pretty embarrassed if I wasnt so nonchalant about the whole thing.
oh man if thats your situation then I feel for you. being unable to live your desired lifestyle is something I am wholly sympathetic to. This is why groups like this where everyone supports each other are so good, they stop you going insane from not being able to talk to anyone. I can't even imagine having to live this way without having at least someone online to talk to. This thread has been so much more helpful than I ever could've hoped for.
i guess i've been lucky, in the respect that i've always been ugly, so i never had to worry about "how do i get that girl to like me?". i've always had a defeatist attitude. did that cause my zoo-exclusivity? debatable, but unimportant, ultimately (IMO).
as others have said.. you need to learn to let go of what society expects of you (the easier part, IMO) and be happy with yourself (a bit harder, i believe). also: you to find a way to safely deflect people who are attracted to you. despite the good fortune some have had with telling others about their zoophilia, i don't think that's the norm at all. sadly, you're better off (again, IMO) not telling people.
it can indeed become a lonely existence, but that's what site/forums like this are all about - finding people to share with. nothing beats talking face to face though, so hopefully in time you find people near you who you can trust enough to meet up with. i've met a few this past year and can't wait to see them again (sadly, they're not 'just down the block').