28F with GF, curious, nervous, questions... (self.zoophilia)
submitted 2014-05-26 04:13:42 by zoocurious-k9

So as the title says, I'm a gay, 28 year old female with a serious girlfriend. While I dont doubt she's sexually explorative I'm not sure this is something she'd be willing to get into.

For me it's a feeling I've had since I was young, I love animals and dogs in particular. When I was a teenager I would give my Moms dog a blow job but it was never spectacular (neutered and a small-medium breed). As I grew older I promised myself I'd get my own non-neutered dog and have him become one of my lovers.

Things happaned, other things happened, I get two dogs. One is a very large, dumb (in the good way) border collie mix but he is neutered and had zero interest, and the other was female. Long term relationship that split and now I don't have either dogs. So I got a new dog, found him, was told unneutered, that I would have to pay for it, etc. Arrive 5 hours from home to find a wonderfully sweet baby girl who was spayed and really I didn't connect on that level with her, although she is absolutely my baby girl.

I was to maybe try this one more time and to see if I can find a male dog, I'm not sure what breed, but I'd like a larger breed. I like the idea of when he's done with me having the marks of his claws all over my body, no socks to dull his nails, a feeling of just being used like that. Which for me is a whole new experience as I don't nor have I never felt that with a male human, ever.

I'm nervous though, that someone will find out, that I will become so guilty that it reflects in my relationship with the dog. Or that it will affect my job. Because I'm not kidding, when I first got this job one of the questions I had to take in the pre-employment psych screening was "Have you ever engaged in acts containing bestiality?".

I am afraid of my girlfriends reaction of course, I love her to death but this has been weighing heavily on me lately. What it she doesn't join, what if she does. What if she doesn't, she doesn't find out, and in a few months I ditch all of this and have my dog neutered (it's a HUGE issue where I live, major yearly paperwork and fines for not having a neutered dog) just to be a household pet.

Then there is the issue of the two new dogs getting along. If they don't get along then all is for lost. For what it's worth my current dog is a 2.5 year old pit mix, she's super sweet, hyper, loves other dogs, not quite food possessive, etc.

Mypronaccountz 3 points on 2014-05-26 05:59:53

If you get a dog, dont let it be contingent upon him being a sex partner. If it doesnt work you may resent him. And that wouldnt be fair to him. He has a life too.

zoocurious-k9 2 points on 2014-05-26 10:45:00

It's definitely not only that, I've been wanting another dog to keep my girl company and to play with her. She's very active and loves playing with other dogs but all my friends only have dogs that are small and/or hate her. Certainly I would like if my dog became a sexual partner but I have more uncertainty and guilt (social stigma) about that than I did when I came out to my friends and family as a lesbian. Part of it I understand as to be an intimate bond between my dog and myself. My girl and I have this when I pet her or kissing, my hands roam more freely than you would consider to be normal 'petting'.

ZoroasterTheCat 2 points on 2014-05-27 01:40:04

I think you would get over the guilt and stop being concerned with the stigma pretty quickly. Just so long as you are careful, set proper boundaries with the dog (ie, playtime is only in one specific room, only when one certain blanket comes out), and make sure you give yourself ample time for privacy. I mean, it would be no different than being intimate with a partner that no one else is aware of yet. It's your little secret. You could either feel guilty about it, or enjoy the secret.

[deleted] 1 point on 2014-05-27 01:13:49

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ThrowwwayGurl 3 points on 2014-05-27 10:15:20

You need to talk to your GF sweetie. If it's something important for you to experience in your life, you need to focus on trying to find out if she would be receptive to the idea and then base your next move on that. Because it's really, really stressful to live in in secrecy about something intimate and deeply personal.

It feels really nice to be taken like you're describing. It's an amazing experience but it's no substitute for a human partner and a stable relationship.

In my opinion you're facing a possible choice. I don't know how long you've been together or what your future plans are, but the real fact of it is, she may not be accepting of the idea at all and it would be a deal breaker. If this is the case, you can either decide that you need the freedom to explore this secret urge and go your own way, or you can prepare to give up the possibility of anything outside of fantasy for your partner and relationship.

You could have a sexual relationship with a dog for your whole life and no friends or family would suspect. But hiding it from a lover? That's going to be harder. Those sexy scratch-marks? (I know the feeling.) Those are going to be hard to blame on the rose bushes or scratching yourself on the kitchen cabinet. Unless you really want to breed your male, you're going to have to come with a convincing reason to keeping him intact with the hassle you'll go through. And lastly, you should plan your activities with days to spare if you choose to do it in secret. Assuming you're planning full PiV sex, a male dog tends to ejaculate a lot, and deep, and it has a very distinct musk, which I actually found quite enjoyable wafting up sometimes as it continues to leak for a day or so after the act... but your partner might start to wonder why you smell like the essence of canine down there.

Your GF might surprise you if you introduce the idea slowly and explain why it turns you on. My partner can make me feel aroused by almost anything he enjoys if he can describe what it means and what if feels like for him. Maybe get her used to the idea that you like to fantasize about it only, and that there's no threat of you acting on it. This might make it feel "safe" for her to indulge you and think about it/fantasize together. Maybe in time she'll warm up to the idea, and then you can proceed from there. But maybe not.

Choices, choices :) I know it's scary to think about opening up about it. I hope you find a clear path and whatever happens, make sure if you bring a dog into your home, he's treated like family and respected the same way as you would for any person you cared enough to be intimate with.

[deleted] 1 point on 2014-05-27 12:59:31

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ZoroasterTheCat 1 point on 2014-05-27 20:18:32

What kind of job would ask that, anyway? Something at a shelter or clinic?

[deleted] 1 point on 2014-05-28 23:05:08

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arnset 1 point on 2014-05-27 13:17:47

Get into dog rescue. Easy access to entire males, you can find one that suits you well, or you can help rehome it with a new family. Which is also good

Also stating the obvious, there are always heaps of guys with dogs that would let you ride. Might not be your thing but it's an option

Good luck!