[deleted]

Being that you both work with animals professionally it is definitely a good idea to approach the subject with caution. A great way to "test the water" would be to bring up the subject in the form of a joke, or hypothetical situation/news story and see how he reacts to it. If he is blatantly disgusted by it, it might be a good idea forgo telling him about your interest. Best of luck!

i'm not so sure about the joke angle. i would think you'd really want him to consider it carefully. thing is, it's hard to be sure you're getting an honest answer. think about us: what do we always say? - when someone makes a joke about zoophilia we have to just laugh it off and hope they don't notice anything unusual about our reaction. if he is expecting you to want a "normal" answer, he'll say "ew" or whatever. not sure about a picture, either. maybe a porno? that you know has animals in it but isn't obvious from the title or anything.

shrug i've never been in your situation, so i can't really say from experience, but hopefully you can figure it out.

whatever happens, i hope it's positive, or at least neutral. best of luck.

A dangerous game, but the payoff could be huge... is he open to other things, like was he willing to try x and y in the bedroom or was that a big struggle too? Idk what animal rights means, but if he bambifies animals as big helpless, cuddly children (loads of people do that even with a 700 kg stallion) forget about it.

Try a harmless joke first, see if he is hopelessly disgusted. Like: why do scots wear kilts? Because sheep can hear a zipper for 100 yards.

If he can laugh about that, idk, i would carefully snake my way into a conversation at a later time. Be alone, be both comfortable, and you need to have sources ready, know where they are. I think the wikipedia page on zoos is really good. You can put on one of these movies that feature man/dog in a comedial way, like turner and hooch. Wait for a fitting scene, e.g when they are in bed in the morning, - cause you have been cuddling your bf at that time, and casually drop that you'd like to try that. You have to read the reaction and take it as it goes. If he freaks out, say you meant petplay and want to try that once in bed. If you think it went well, but later he changes his mind, say you were on a lot of wine, dope or way too much in the sun that day and frankly don't recall any of the stupid shit you said. Just prepare for a few eventualities that lead down to total disaster so you can plausibly deny from then on.

If he is intriged after the drop during the movie keep the conversation going. 'What do you mean?' 'Idk the dog in bed thing gave me a buzz.' ... i guess you want to come to the point where you can ask 'what you never googled for animalporn?' Since you are alone and so's he'll probably tell the truth. Take it as it goes. Perhaps you can state you have zoophilia in the end and wanted to tell him so bad, but it's such a risk and you like him too much blablabla in the best outcome. Then show him the wikipedia entry.

Just an idea, i never did this myself. I am too scared.

Like your username, btw.

Ask yourself what you want first. Do you want to introduce zoophilia into your relationship or are you looking just for acceptance that it's a part of who you are?

If it's something you feel you have to have in your life again, you need to address it sooner than later, because you may need to make a choice here. It's quite possible that no matter how gently you introduce the topic that he'll want nothing to do with it, that he will be revolted by the very idea. It's a serious deal breaker to some people. Other people might be more open minded and able to at least accept that it's part of your sexuality but still not want it in their life. If you both work with dogs this could make it extremely complicated, but it all depends on how close you are to your boyfriend, how committed and open and close you are.

Personally I told my husband back when he was my boyfriend because we were exercising "Games" where we would confess deeper and darker secrets to each other and became very close, so close that I decided I couldn't hide it any longer. Fortunately he's the open-minded type, and even though he was freaked out he gave me a chance to talk about what it meant to us, because like anyone, he thought that I was trying to tell him that I wanted either to have sex with animals again, or that I had needs he couldn't satisfy, and when he was assured that neither of those were the case, he was perfectly fine knowing my history. For me I wasn't really interested in having any animal partners again, and even if I had wanted it again, I would have still chosen him exclusively in my life in any situation. (I'm sure some bisexual people have to make these kinds of choices at some point in their life also.)

Guys are generally going to be much more receptive to the idea, but with both of you working with dogs might complicate things. The best way to bring it up is to just ask.

"What are you feelings on zoophiles?"

And see what he says. Most people who think of it immediately imagine men raping sheep and dogs and stuff so it's a knee-jerk reaction so probe a little deeper, just ask. See what he thinks about receiving from male animals, other situations where there is intimacy and care involved, etc. Worst case he freaks out and can't possibly see a situation where it's acceptable. Then you decide for yourself where you want your relationship to go. If he seems to be able to see different sides of it, or is accepting that it's not always abusive, then make an admission of sorts and see where it goes: "Oh, because I'm attracted to some animals, I wanted to know what you thought."

It's scary and makes you feel very vulnerable and there's almost no way to know what kind of reaction you'll get, but I always advise truth before things get too far along and it becomes a major problem.

edit: changed some wording realizing you didn't specify your gender, all the rest still applies.

[deleted]

For me, it comes down to figuring out what you already find acceptable to talk about with him. Can you reliably express you emotions and find a supportive environment in which to communicate? Do you guys talk about other "icky" or "private" subjects either out in the open or in bed?

The fact that he is a bit AR scares me. I've been told off for riding a horse let alone doing anything further. Even though many horses love to go out and do things and it is certainly better for them than sitting alone in a pasture all the time.

I was lucky with my wife, she already knew zoo and after a lot of discussion on the type of relationship and marriage we wanted we agreed to have an open poly marriage which allows me to express emotion and feelings for non-human lovers. We've been mostly happy for a couple of decades now.

So, as far as other bf/gf or folks I've told if you are in bed you should be comfortable enough to discuss fantasy without a horrid reaction. Two things about fantasy, not illegal, and no one is ever possibly harmed. TBH, if discussing a fantasy that turns you on causes a major problem then the relationship isn't going to be stable in the long run either, at least without one of holding yourself back.

If you're doggie professionals perhaps mention that dog breeding gets you hot and jump his bones, you've then made no link between the dogs and you and he can think about it...

Good luck, and as already advised, think about why it is important for him to know. If you plan on never expressing your love, then probably a discussion won't hurt anything.... in the long run...

My friend was complaining to me about her sex life with her boyfriend, how she was feeling unsatisified, so I sent her this picture as a joke:

http://i.imgur.com/RMgEvCS.jpg

She laughed really hard, but it would be a good way to get into the subject, bec

FWIW, I've come out to a couple of non-zoos. They were just friends, not partners, so I'm not sure to what extent this advice will be applicable, though I've found that the best way to broach the subject is to be direct and tell it as it is. While doing so makes you more vulnerable than other methods do, it also forces the person you're telling to take it seriously, and consider the argument you put forward in a more speculative light than they would if you were to make, for example, a joke.

I would advise you sit down with your boyfriend and take the dive. Prepare the zoophilic moral/consent arguments that you may need to use to justify it and give him peace of mind. Tell him that you have something important to say, and then say outright that you are attracted to dogs/horses/whatever else. It may help if you practise in front of a mirror beforehand, as saying it out loud will likely come as a shock to you, as well as him - the sudden release of pressure, built up over years of concealment and fear, can be a little overwhelming in my experience.

If you know him and trust him, you should know whether he will react with knee-jerk negativity. Although it isn't possible to gauge his preexisting opinion on zoophilia, you should know how he has reacted to surprises in the past, or whether he has a tendency to 'fly off the handle'. If not, it is very unlikely that a long talk will not end in his peaceful acceptance of your sexuality.

I wish you the best of luck, regardless of which method you choose to employ.

~ T-V

How has it worked out?