Greetings from a lurker (self.zoophilia)
submitted 2014-10-05 13:53:00 by furvert_tail Equine, large canid
I've been lurking for several months now, and finally decided to sign up and say hello. I've been aware of my attraction to (large) dogs and (muscular) horses for the last 15 years, but have always resisted temptation through a combination of self-doubt (did I interpret their body language correctly?) and fear of being caught. The human body does nothing for me, sexually, but human minds and personalities can still be sexy.
(Do people even still say "lurking" any more, or has that faded since the Usenet days?)
Welcome. :)
Out of interest, how much time have you spent around animals? I ask because it isn't very often I hear a zoo admit they don't really understand animal body language. There's no shame whatsoever in that, I just find it interesting.
As for the fear of being caught, I feel we can all empathise. It's an unfortunate part of being a zoo that we all strive to find a solution to eventually.
And yes, 'lurking' is a perfectly acceptable term, at least around here. I'm sure most of our subscribers have never posted.
I'm sorry if this isn't comprehensible but I'm very tired.
Not as much time as I would like, I had no pets growing up... but there were fields nearby with horses that I could visit on foot, and there have been friends with dogs who I could visit all my life.
As a teen, I didn't know that I didn't know their body language, I just had a sense of unease that they were not reacting the way I expected them to. As an adult looking back, I can describe my standards, ever since I was a teenager, as "don't settle for just consent, you want enthusiasm". But I've also learned about the Dunning–Kruger effect, and now assume I know less than I think about what that looks like. That said, I have seen enthusiasm: a friend who is a zoo has a dog who has jumped up and french kissed me twice. I'm not comfortable saying it would mean the same for him as it would for a human, but he was more enthusiastic about that kiss than any human I've known. With him, I mostly resist my urges for fear of being caught — not as unreasonable as it sounds, as I have a human girlfriend who needs me to be monogamous. (She knows I'm a zoo and is very accepting, she even feels bad about needing me to be monogamous given I only find her mind and personality, not her body, sexy).
G'day! First, welcome. Second, I'd like to send appreciation for equating zoosexual relationships with your human one. Monogamy is important to many people (although I suspect this is true for the wrong reasons but whatever) and I am happy to read your dedicated enough to follow that course. It can be tempting. I have made it clear in my human relationships that I am poly and will accept nothing less in my human mates. Sometimes they really don't understand that I consider them equal in status to an animal partner no matter how much I've talked to them but I've been really luck and married quite some time now. So it can work out. I think it is cool your gf realizes how a relationship like that might be a break from monogamy. As for body language, while we all love the hip bruising enthusiasm that we can get from our partners kept in mind that they might have moods, might like long slow gentle without a lot of effort on their part. The one thing I've learned from mares is that each is different, and each likes different things on different days. I've always felt that I understand "horse" without too much thought but they are very different than us and we need to see the little signs too. If you do feel uncomfy reading body language the only thing that will cure that is time with those animals you want to read.
i'm of the same mind regarding consent vs. enthusiasm. i still fear hurting an animal by misreading body language, but i, too, suffer from a lack of knowledge and experience in that department. i think part of that lack of knowledge comes from the repression (both from society and from within) that caused/causes me to not watch for some of those more subtle cues when animals are getting frisky with each other. other ones like flagging are of course much easier to see and understand. :)
i have to admit i don't envy you in your situation, but then again, i'm not attracted to humans sexually nor even romantically, so it's impossible for me to truly understand and definitely cannot judge.
also, welcome. :)