(There's a typo in the title, it's supposed to be "I don't know if I'll be able to handle her dying"
My (6 year old) husky is a female, but I'm the bitch in the relationship. I've suffered from depression for around 17 years and being around her is usually the only thing that brings me happiness during the day. Before I adopted her I would consider suicide daily but now I can't even consider taking my life when I'm responsible for ensuring her wellbeing. I fucking love her so much, I've even lost a ton of weight off of taking up hiking (210 pounds to 160) since huskies require a lot of exercise.
The problem is that I feel completely hollow whenever I'm not with her. I hate my job even though it pays well and I don't have any aspirations in life. I feel uncomfortable around my parents because they're devout Catholics and they keep asking about when I'll have children or find a wife and are always disappointed when I tell them that I'm not looking for one. They don't like that I've stopped going to church either. I used to be a Christian but how can I continue to believe in a religion that hates me and in the past would even murder us? The only reason it's even legal in my state is because of an accident caused by the repeal of sodomy laws.
She's a complete emotional crutch for me. The average lifespan for a husky is around 13 years and I can't imagine living without her. I don't even care too much about sex aside from bringing pleasure to her, most of the time I'll only go as far as cunnilingus or fingering or rubbing her mound. She seems to like PiV sex but I'm always nervous that I'll hurt her even though she's large enough and I'm extremely careful. I just find any act that makes her happy to be sexually arousing, I consider her to be my queen and I spend a large amount of time and money on her. She loves me unconditionally and I return the favor.
Right now she's perfectly healthy but recently I've became really scared of her dying. I don't know why either, her personality hasn't changed and our vet hasn't found anything wrong with her. Does anyone have advice on how to cope with losing a partner?
Everyone in life has a caducity label, it's just we can see it. Every living being is gonna die, one way or another.
Love her. Make every minute of her (or maybe yours, nobody has the next breathing sure) life full of love. Try piv sex, being careful. This would just stretch your bond with each other, like with any other couple (xcept cats).
Every road has an end, it's the walk what makes it worth it.
I recently had a scare with my mare. To the point I held her and told her "goodbye". As such I have no advice for helping you with the passing of your love. Only time will dull that ache.
To give yourself the time to remember your love with fondness, you might consider having someone to depend on you. Another dog might fit the bill. One compatible with the both of you but not a replacement... Just another companion on your journey. Younger than your lover.
I hope that helps.
Hello I dont think I did this propperly but this is to the original poster. I so feel where you are coming from. To start of I could never mate with my true love because she was just too small. I could never even think of hurting her so we kissed and did what I felt like what was pleasurable to her. That was such a small part of it. I can remember when she was about 7 or 8 years old lieng next to her thinking how will I go on with our her. She Died some 18 years ago and although I have been married 20 plus years and still she is the love of my life. Nothing can ever replace her. Having said that You can find some joy in life after the love of your like is no longer in corporial form. There is a just and loving god and you will be togather again. I believe there is a reason for every thing and there is some reason that you and your love must be seperated before you are reunited in perfect union forever. As for now just revel in the time you have now. God bless you and yours
Time is your friend, your enemy, your boss and your mentor. Time ruins your life and fixes it piece by piece. Time holds your resentment and anger while opening you to a world of beauty. Time cuts deep, time heals deeper.
Nothing can prevent the inevitable, and you will need to take the months, years, required to see that through her life, you have grown as a person, and that through loving her, you've learnt to love yourself. That is what coming to terms with passing is, and the mourning that precludes serenity is one of the most difficult stages of anyone's life. Life turns, and although we would like to have clear and fair and balanced beginnings and endings to our circumstances, the world simply turns with it.
We are here to help you and support you through difficult times, so you should feel no shame in needing to lean on other zoos for support. Practically every zoo has or will go through the passing of their mate, and it's undoubtedly the hardest part of being one. I'm not saying that all circumstances are the same, but we can empathise and help you forward so as to stop you getting trapped in the thicket of bitter remorse, and that's important for long-term mental health.
I don't know how practical it is for you to do this, but since you mentioned disliking your work (money means nothing once you have enough to get by, period), I would suggest you find alternate work that you actually enjoy and look forward to. Sure, you will be ridiculed for it, but what do other people's opinions matter when something so much more valuable is at stake? Ask yourself what you enjoy, and what you desire. The rest will follow.
The world is better with you in it.
How well put. Thanks for saying all that I did not have the skill to say.
Agreed.
Thank you so much everyone. I really appreciate the kind words of advice. :)
Get a second dog. Two is the ideal. One, they can keep each other company while you're at work. Two, when one dies, you still have the one that's left till you can find another. If well cared for, many dogs can live for up to 15 years or so. Unless a vary large breed, who often only make it to 5 years. My last dog to pass away was a german shepherd and she lived to 15.
We can't tell what tomorrow brings, or how many tomorrows any being has. Unfortunately, we chose to love a partner (or partners) who we can be pretty confident we will outlive. Worrying about their shorter time only wastes some of that precious time that could be spent better.
We also cannot guess what we will do when their time comes, other than mourn, and there's no sense dwelling on that either.
I recently lost my bitch who I'd been sexually active with for about 10 years, and I'd never considered that I'd mourn her. For me, it had always been about the sex, or I thought so until she died. My life continues though, day by day.
My old friend Silverwolf, who mourned his lover with intensity that I used to ridicule, and who to my knowledge remains faithful though he has other dogs now, lives and continues day by day.
I didn't waste any days worrying that either my or her days were numbered, and I doubt Silver did about Tippy. To do so only has you living longer in sorrow than needed. You may find other lovers as I have, or comfort enough in your memories to need no others as Silver did, or who knows?
In the meantime, love the one your with, as the song goes, and give her all the good memories you can.