So I've always liked most animals more than a lot of people, but there's really only one animal that I consider myself attracted to sexually. Horses. I ride them a lot, and I would never commit sexual acts with another person's horse, but I'm sure when I get my own horse sooner or later--money is tight right now, but should clear up soon enough-- I will consider sexual acts with a horse. Then there's also a side of me that just likes riding horses, whether I'm sexually attracted to it or not. That side is my part that likes horses just like any other person.
Just like with people, there are some that I like but many I would never consider sexual acts with. I've never told anyone about this yet, for obvious reasons.
I guess I should get to my questions... Is it OK to be around animals to whom I have a sexual attraction for other purposes? Like riding them like a "normal" horse person, or caring for one or something. Just like I can still be friends with girls I would rail in a heartbeat but wouldn't have a chance with and respect more for other reasons? And how long do YOU think you have to be with an animal before you can consider it a consensual act to actually... you know?
If I think of any more questions after posting they'll be below this line.
Okay, so you are overly worrying about this. I know it was all i thought about when i was in your position.
It really depends. It depends on the relationship you develop. The first night is okay, or maybe a year. Horses can give clear signals as to interest. It is very unlikely you will find any that will make themselves available the first time you meet them.
As for doing non-sexual things with horse, of course! Horses are wonderful partners, most want to be part of your life in many aspects once you get to understand them. You can control yourself like most adults, i assume? Enjoy your horse time without worry. Riding, groundwork,sitting in the pasture with her lipping your hair are all as wonderful as sex in their own ways.
I know you are trying to separate the sex from everything else but it isn't a real division. For you i would suggest that it is all part and parcel of your love. Others may care for horses for what they do, I honestly hope that you feel differently.
Let me give you an example. I have two mares one of whom is my very close love and companion. The other, whom I've never connected to like that, is still a friend whom I care about. The fact she's a mare doesn't mean I'm automatically going to have sex even if there is nothing standing in the way.
My friend, please don't fear your desires unless they cause you problems. Good luck.
Edited because I need to stop using my iPad to type long messages, typos fixed mostly
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I agree with /u/yearningmice in that you seem to be looking into this a little much. To put it simply, you'd be hard pressed to find any human who does not find at least one of their friends or work colleagues attractive.
I take a pretty relaxed view on this since animals, more often than not, separate sex and love, and horses are no exception. So long as everyone is comfortable and it's winks and/or flags aplenty, I see no reason why a relationship or any specified length of time is a prerequisite. Of course, this varies greatly between individuals and more between species, so it's really whenever both parties are comfortable enough around the other enough to do something so intimate. Of course, it's always going to be better and more satisfying to make love with your mate, as opposed to just having sex with a horse, so keep that in mind.
Edited for typo
Horseman here also. I trail ride and have sex with mares.
Best advice is learn all you can about horses. Spend as much time with them as you can. Learn how to groom them, and learn their body language, especially their ear language. I spent over a year learning before I started to have sex with mares and then another couple years till I learned how to ride.
To avoid suspicion, the best horse lover is a full sized horse. Seriously, no one will suspect you if you have a full sized horse because they just assume that your parts are not compatible. If you spent a lot of time with ponies tho, some people will talk ; )
This, definitely this. Learning their language is a must. I've had to fancy horses from a distance due to necessities of my life, but circumstances have changed recently and now I have the opportunity, I'm making a concerted effort to understand the world from their point of view — as I am without that knowledge, I treat them with cautious respect (and plenty of tasty carrots, as his owner says he loves them). (Similar story for dogs, but the life change that allowed me to start learning their minds started years ago).
Of course you can be with them still just so and for riding! Riding, grooming, taking care of them, petting, talking, sitting in the pasture etc etc are all wonderful ways to spend time together! Don't worry about that at all. It's great fun for all involved.
And for the consent, it doesn't depend on the time. It depends on the consent (duh). If you ride a lot you know the language they speak. Just ask nicely or wait for the mare in heat to wink around asking for a stallion. Or - my fav - pet the dick a bit and see if the guy rolls it out for you to do some more :)
Stay cool, stay save, be yourself, don't worry so much.