How and/or at what age did you discover, or suspect your zoophilia? (self.zoophilia)
submitted 2014-12-29 07:37:32 by Dutch-Bag
Lately I've been getting stressed out about some feelings I've been having for my friend's dog, and I'm just looking for the experiences of some people who identify as zoophiles, just so I can come to a conclusion on how I feel about what I've been going through. Thank you for any replies, I'm young and I don't know much about zoophila in general, so anything would help. Also, I apologize if this question has already been asked, I feel really awkward about spending much time on this Reddit, I hope you understand.
Hello!
I would've been around 14 when I first realised I found dogs attractive. I got into furry wen I was 13 and found after some time that it was the canine parts I liked (feral especially), and I started to find real-life dogs attractive. It's a fairly common scenario shared among many zoos, it seems.
Do you want to talk about the feelings you have for your friend's dog? How do you feel when you're with them? How about when you have to leave them? You don't have to share anything you don't feel comfortable with, but it's good to talk about it. Many of us here have fallen in love with animals (myself included), so we are here to offer advice and assistance should you want it.
Everyone's circumstances are different so don't worry about reposts. The rules may be extensive but this community aims to be supportive and open. I can understand feeling awkward here, but just remember that you don't have to; we're regular folks from all walks of life who find animals attractive, as you do. Welcome to the fold, and feel free to PM if you want to talk.
~ T-V
How long have you been interested in dogs? Are you into humans as well? And how deeply are you involved in furry? Do you contribute artistically?
It's been a while, although I can remember liking humans before I liked dogs. I don't remember much about that, though interestingly enough I stopped finding them attractive when I started having feelings for animals. Needless to say I don't find humans attractive nowadays, though I've wondered whether I could share a romantic relationship with one... under ideal circumstances with the right person (who'd probably have to be a zoo), I think it could happen. But I digress.
I'm not all that deeply involved with furry though I'd like to be, and I'm working on it. I have no artistic talent whatsoever so I don't contribute as such, though I plan to make a fursuit at some point if you want to count that.
Thank you for the comment, it's really helpful, I wasn't sure what to expect but so far I'm glad I made this post. It's helped out quite a lot. And yeah, I'm not sure if I'll PM you about it. I mean, it probably would help to talk about it with someone who understands, but for now I feel a bit shook up, I got nervous enough saying I have those types of feelings for a dog, going into any more details just makes me feel sick be that with embarrassment or just plain worry, it doesn't feel great. But thank you for the offer regardless.
It might not be a lot of help to hear this, but feeling embarrassed/worried is completely normal with this, at first. I was in denial about my feelings towards animals for quite a long time, because I thought they made me a freak or mentally ill or something, but with time I came to realise that there was nothing wrong with me at all. Talking to other people who felt the same way really helped, so I'm glad that you're taking the first step and posting here, because it's important to know that you're not alone in how you feel; there are literally millions of people all over the world who have the same feelings you do.
As for feeling embarrassed and worried, the main question you should be asking is "am I hurting anyone?" Sure it may be unusual to feel the way you do, sure some people might say nasty things about it, but you are doing nothing wrong and hurting no-one. Don't let how society views zoophilia cloud what it actually is: love of animals. How can that be a bad thing? :)
I'm in a similar place that you are. I recently came to terms with my sexual attraction to horses, but I'm still somewhat struggling with how to proceed. Here's an abridged version of a very long PM I sent to another /r/zoophilia user. I hope you find it somewhat insightful.
This is longer than 10k characters, so I'm breaking it into two posts. It's basically my whole "self-discovery" story, 7 years of emotional rationalization condensed into two reddit comments.
Text wall ahead...
...
I'm a self-taught digital artist, and I've done a substantial amount of creative writing as well. I'm straight, male, and I'm not a virgin, although I haven't had many sexual experiences, and I've never had any with animals.
As a kid, I was always into fantasy, especially anything involving fantasy animals (like dragons, werewolves, or griffins), or human to animal transformations. I loved Animorphs books, and my favorite character from Harry Potter was Professor Lupin, since he was both a good guy and a werewolf. I drew dragons a lot. As I got into my early teens, my magic animal fantasies began to have a sexual appeal as well. Creatures like dragons and werewolves are aesthetically very cool (which is why I drew them), and the idea of experiencing life from a non-human perspective was very appealing to me. I didn't just want to draw dragons and wolves, I wanted to know what it was like to be one of those animals. And eventually, I wanted to know what it was like to have sex with them.
Maybe that sounds immature, but it plays into my view on zoophilia. If you want to communicate with an animal, sex is a pretty good way, because sex is an act that humans and animals both understand. Sex transcends verbal communication. If you're born a human, you'll never know what it's like to be an animal. And you shouldn't spend all of your time wishing that you could live life as an animal - that's unhealthy. But if there's one animal you really like, and both you and the animal find each other sexually attractive, having sex with the animal will definitely strengthen your emotional bond. And a long, recurring sexual relationship with a particular animal could give you a certain perspective on life that you wouldn't otherwise have had.
Around freshman year of high school, I discovered furry porn. From then until now, I looked at furry porn exclusively. I avoided normal porn because I knew my parents didn't want me to look at it - I knew they wouldn't want me to look at furry porn either, but I told myself it was "okay" since it didn't have real people in it, and because looking at it was "teaching me to draw". I still rarely look at normal, human porn. I am attracted to humans, but I also know that the people in it are only acting for my pleasure, and for some reason that's a bit of a turn-off to me.
Around high school, I started to feel sexually attracted to horses. At first, my interest didn't feel sexual. It was pure artistic curiosity. The leg structure of horses and dogs is very different than a human leg - their ankles are much higher up than on humans - and I thought that looked really cool. I wanted to learn how to draw horse legs, and I wanted to know what it felt like to walk on legs like that. Any time I was watching TV and a scene with horses came on, I'd stare at the horse's legs, watching them move until the horse walked off the camera, trying to imagine what they would feel like. Soon, my thoughts became sexual. I went from watching just the horse's legs to its legs and thighs; then its legs, thighs, butt, and tail. Watching how the horse's tail moved across its rear end would always turn me on, especially since it reminded me of furry porn. And likewise, furry porn would remind me of horses, so it was just a vicious cycle. I'd see a horse on TV and I'd think, "That horse is naked. Does anyone else realize it's naked? Horses have really big butts. Wow, horses are really strong. That horse's butt is just totally muscle". Sometimes I'd get a quick glimpse of a horse's genitals, and then I'd feel really awkward for the rest of the evening. Since I watched a lot of TV with my family, times like that always led to this uncomfortable feeling of a) wondering if anyone else had noticed the giant horse dick, b) wondering if they noticed that I'd noticed it, and finally c) hoping to all hell that nobody picked up on how embarrassed I felt for having noticed it.
I really tried to ignore it, but the turning point came when I was watching the Kentucky Derby with my dad, sophomore year of high school. Over a dozen running horses, and all I could focus on were their legs and butts. My dad said something like "Horses are beautiful animals", and I realized I was thinking exactly the same thing - but in a sexual way.
That was when I started thinking about bestiality. I'd fantasize about some kinky animal sex act, like imagining me as a wolf having sex with a hot woman, or me having sex with a female wolf, and then I'd catch myself and tell myself I'd never do it - which is weird in and of itself, because that's something normal people don't have to tell themselves at all. If you're trying to convince yourself "I wouldn't really have sex with a wolf", or a horse, or a fox, or whatever, chances are you've thought about doing it a lot more than most normal people, and you're probably thinking about doing it because you want to do it. I told myself it was wrong because animals can't talk, and therefore it's impossible to get consent (I've since changed my mind - I believe it is possible, and in fact mandatory, to get nonverbal consent from an animal before having sex with it). Then I'd change the fantasy to make it "acceptable", like imagining both parties as being anthro wolves, and go on with the fantasy that way.
Senior year of high school, I tried to break myself of the furry porn habit. I banned myself from looking at equine furries, for the arbitrary reason that "farm animals are gross and you wouldn't want to have sex with a farm animal". I managed to stay away for a while. I quit posting pictures or stories online, I deleted my porn stash, and I deleted all the porn from my "favorites" collection on furaffinity. I left for college really believing that I'd grown out of that awkward teenage furry porn phase.
...
Then one of my college friends introduced me to My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. By then, the show was already pretty popular on the internet. And I fell in love with My Little Pony, for many non-sexual reasons. I told myself I'd never look at porn of My Little Pony. Furry porn was over. I was done with it. And I thought of the ponies as my friends. Would you look at porn of your friends? No. Every day I went without giving in and looking up disgusting porn of my new favorite cartoon was a victory.
But I was curious. I had to know - did rule 34 of the internet apply to My Little Pony? People joked about pony porn, but did it actually exist? Curiosity soon got the better of me. I had to look it up.
There was pony porn. Lots of pony porn. And holy shit, more than half of it was actually horse porn. Well, cartoon horse porn. But it was still anatomically correct - the characters had hooves, snouts, tails, and stood on four legs. The genitals were anatomically correct, too. And it really turned me on.
I tried to explain away that, too. I told myself that I'd just messed up my brain by looking at so much furry porn in high school. And as usual, I told myself I was only looking up porn because some of the art was really good and I wanted to learn how to draw better.
Then one of the porn artists I followed reblogged a photo of a real mare with its tail in the air, exposing its vulva. And that really turned me on. I started masturbating to the photo, to see how it felt. It felt amazing. I really, really wanted to do it with that horse. When I finished, I felt gross. But I went back to the same picture the next day and did it again.
In many ways, I'm now living a double life. And that stresses me out a lot. I'm openly a huge fan of My Little Pony. Like I said, I enjoy that show for many non-sexual reasons. I geek out over it, I've been to a convention with one of my best friends, I own signed merchendise. I draw safe-for-work pony fanart, I show it to my friends and family, and I post it online. All my family and friends know I like that show, and they accept it. Life is good.
But also, two years later, I've looked up some bestiality porn. I've drawn pony porn, and I have online friends in the NSFW side of the fandom. I have a sizeable stash of mare pics, which I use for both artistic references and pleasure. I still want to do it with a mare. My friends occasionally poke fun at me by asking if I've looked at any pony porn recently, and I just laugh it off. But often, the answer is yes. And it always feels awkward when I'm showing my safe-for-work art to somebody else (often a girl I'm interested in) and they say "Wow, that's so good, why do you draw so many horses"? I always tell them it's because I think horses are pretty, which is true. But it's also because I think horses are sexy, and that's something I am definitely not courageous enough to admit to a potential girlfriend.
And this double life feels really fucking weird. Did I start watching MLP because I'm a weirdo who just wants to fuck a horse? I don't think so, because there are many other people who like ponies for the same non-sexual reasons that I do. Did I start fantasizing about fucking horses because I like MLP way too much? Do I have so little experience with real-life horses that I'm unable to distinguish between a magical talking unicorn and a real animal? Again, I don't think so. I was gawking at horse asses on TV when I was fifteen - a full four years before I started watching MLP, and a full three years before the new MLP even aired.
I'm not a creeper. I would never hop a fence and fuck someone random stranger's horse because I thought I could get away with it. That's rude, impolite, and immoral. But I'm also a guy who watches a kids cartoon about ponies, looks at realistic porn of it, and really wants to have sex with a mare at least once in my life. And that makes me uncomfortable about my sexuality.
It also discourages me with regards to the "normal" dating scene. Someday, I want to be married and have kids. But I also know my sexual interest in both furry art and real horses is not going to go away - I also want to own a horse, and have sex with that horse. That means it'll be a choice between hiding some parts of my sexuality from my future SO, or finding a woman who can both understand my sexuality and keep it a secret. Ideally, my SO would be a bit of a zoo herself, or at least be into furry porn. But that narrows the dating pool even further.
TLDR
I'm in my early twenties. Ready to graduate college with a degree in engineering. Looking at a respectable job straight out of college. Slightly obsessed with My Little Pony. Sexually attracted to horses, despite knowing full well that I'd lose the respect of my friends, family, and coworkers, and possibly even lose my job, if I were ever found out. Still looks up furry/pony/beast porn, despite knowing better. Still draws furry/pony porn, despite really knowing better. Wants to meet up with other zoos and talk about stuff, but doesn't want to risk ruining his life. Still wants to fuck a mare.
If you or anyone else wants to talk more in private, feel free to send me a PM.
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Good to hear :) If derpibooru is any indication, there are a fuckton of us. Mind if I PM you?
[deleted]
Cool, thanks.
I see you are in good hands here. For me it was 11-12 years old, but I was a virgin until 22. So go figure. Your feelings are normal, both the attraction and the awkwardness and embarrassment you might feel. We each discover ourselves differently. I hope you have good luck!
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Nice to see this question being posted. It is always fascinating to hear from others about how they discovered their interest in animals.
I have had an “abnormally” strong fascination with equines for as long as I can remember, though I don’t think I knew for certain that I was a zoosexual until the age of 8 or 9. I grew up with an abundance of different animals throughout my childhood, but my family never owned horses. We had a good number of larger canine breeds, but they were never really of interest to me outside of being pets. I honestly had no interest in canines sexually until much later in my life. Now horses on the other hoof were my obsession. I loved (and still do) everything about them. The way they looked, the way they moved, the way they smelled, I did everything in my power to be around these magnificent creatures. I took riding lessons, cleaned stalls for friends, and did all the horsey things at summer camp. Then one day s friend of the family was watching me while my parents were out of town and she took me out to help feed her horses. Her horse ended up being a big beautiful chestnut mare, and looking back on the experience now, it was quite obvious that she was in standing heat. I was absolutely dumbstruck by her beauty, and could not take my eyes off of her. Her scent was completely intoxicating and the way she carried herself as she flirted with the gelding captured my attention completely. Right then and there I knew that horses were my primary sexual interest. The more time I spent around horse the more I completely fell in love with them. I lost my virginity to a lovely Arabian mare when I was 13 and haven’t looked back. I have enjoy the company of thousands of horses over the years, and these days I couldn’t imagine a life with out these incredible critters. When it comes to other animals, I don’t have the same emotional attachment toward them as I do with equines. I still find them to be sexually appealing, and would love to get to know them better. A good friend of mine recently introduced me to the joys of cattle, and I have totally fallen for these cloven-hooved beauties. I definitely have a strong interest in farm animals, but also enjoy the company of canines when the opportunity presents itself. I will gladly take a four-legged lover over the two-legged kind any day of the week.
I discovered it approximately at the same time I discovered sexuality in general. I didn't know there was a name for what I was feeling and doing, only that it felt nice and for some reason it was also really, really bad and even without knowing there was an adult opinion of it, I knew I had to keep it secret more than anything else I could have ever imagined.
I used to use the excuse that it was just because I was lonely and didn't have a lot of exposure to boys my age, that I was just desperate for companionship... but there are a lot of people who are lonely who don't even remotely consider intimacy with an animal, so I suppose it really is a difference in wiring.
As far back as I can remember, when I was with people who were looking at a shepherd, wolf, husky or any other strong, predatory breed, they would say "Ooooh such a cute pup!" I would be thinking "Oh my, what a handsome man!" Like I would be seeing them in a totally different way. For some odd reason I always saw certain canines as appealing to look at and fantasize about as prince-charming from a storybook.
Even when I was little I convinced myself that I didn't like dogs because I think somewhere deep inside, unconsciously I knew that I liked them more than I should.
I realized my love for horses around the time puberty came around. Ended up on the weird animal mating side of youtube and my fascination with horses hasn't ceased since.
I remember the first time I watched zoophilic porn was back when I was 13 or 14. I can't remember how the idea came to me to look for that kind of porn (I guess I was just feeling bored of "vanilla" porn), but I ended looked up anything that involved horses (male ones), and got hooked to it for a few weeks. After that, I forgot about it for a few years. I didn't suspect I had a real thing for it.
Years later, I got into the MLP FiM craze as well, and sure enough, the porn. Within a year, this brought back my zoophilia, making me get back into looking at horse porn, and finally started questioning the feelings I had been having at the time that I really wasn't attracted much at all towards humans.
In the end, I ended up accepting that I did feel attraction towards animals. However, this took me a considerable amount of time to come to terms with. Even though the online communities I have participated in have always had a lot of openness and I always ended up finding at least one zoophile in them, it was still hard to learn that this attraction towards animals I have was much rarer in the general population than I deemed it at first.
And as my flair shows, I have rather recently discovered that I am mostly attracted towards dolphins. Horses as well, but nowhere near as much as what I feel for a dolphin.
yeah, pony porn got a hold of me too... I knew something was up once I realized the realistic porn was the stuff I liked the most.
I am attracted to humans, but for some reason I've never had a desire to watch "normal" porn. For me, it's always been furry, and more recently, pony and horse.
Why dolphins?
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Well, I really only watched human porn when I was starting out on puberty and I thought that was as good as it got. From the moment I found furry myself, I never looked back. Human porn completely lost what little appeal it had. Really, like if human porn had always been a candlelight I just did with because I didn't know better, and then suddenly I find there's sunlight out there.
About dolphins, the heart wants what it wants I guess. But seriously, it's hard to describe why. I guess it's the same thing other people feel about someone they like: they are so... pure. I imagine myself with one and it just fits. Nothing I really feel about humans or many other animals.
I even remember feeling the immense jealousy I felt when I was on a vacation with my family on the beach about a year ago, and we heard of some guy who had been swimming out in the ocean and he had been approached by dolphins out of pure luck, and one of them had become really close to him, so much that every time this guy was out in the ocean, that same dolphin came back to be with him for a few hours a day. Of course this whole story became insanely popular around the people on the resort we went to and that's how we heard of it too, and I once even saw the guy there with said dolphin. I couldn't help but curse at the world for not having put me there instead of him. Why the hell was I not as lucky as him? Just having had a dolphin become that close to me would have been the best thing in the world.
I'm sorry that you didn't get to swim with the dolphin. That must have been incredibly discouraging.
I don't mean to be a downer, but I have to ask - how do you plan to act on your attraction to dolphins? You can't keep one as a pet, and since they're aquatic, they're incredibly difficult to visit. Even if you had the resources to own one and keep it happy and healthy, your visitation time would be limited by how long you could stay in the water.
On a brighter note, your story about the dolphin reminds me of a similar experience I had visiting family this summer. I have cousins that live in a rural area, and my parents and I drove out to visit them. When we arrived at my cousins' house, and I noticed that the property next door had a horse paddock, with two horses wandering around inside. I am very much attracted to horses, and this was just around the time where I was first acknowledging that. I also had zero horse experience - I'd never ridden them, cared for them, or even touched them. So as soon as I saw those horses, I immediately wanted to go pet them.
Of course, nobody stuck around to pet the horses. We greeted my cousins, went inside, and started talking. It was a hot day, so the horses quickly went back into the barn. I split my time between talking with my family, watching TV, and stealing glances out the window to see if the horses were back outside. Eventually, they wandered back into the paddock. So I told everyone I was going for a walk, and went outside to go see them.
The horses saw me coming, and one of them walked up to the fence and put its head over. I reached out and touched it, right on the nose. And it felt perfect. Its nose was softer than anything I've ever felt, and touching it gave me this sudden, intense rush of happiness - the feeling was more powerful than anything I'd expected. It was joy and excitement and nervousness all at once. And more than that, it felt like the horse was touching me. It felt right.
If you can manage it, I definitely recommend seeing a dolphin up close. The gratification you'll experience is more than worth it.
Your story is pretty touching, and the feelings you felt is how I imagine I would feel in front of a dolphin. Just fantasizing about such a moment fills me with pure bliss, more so if it were a wild one in the ocean instead of, say, one at a waterpark.
And you're right on wondering how I would act on my attraction, because the truth is, I can't say I have anything actually planned. My best chance is that some day I'll be able to live somewhere near the sea or some other way of being together with a dolphin. In general, I just hope that life itself gives me the opportunity, because trying to plan anything specific seems like I'd just be kidding myself. The odds aren't really on my side, but I'm optimistic on it nonetheless.
It is very stressful especially being younger. I came upon the entire kink by sheer ignorance when I was 15. At this time I was pretty active sexually with a close friend, he and I fooled around all the time, everything from oral to anal and everything in between. So even at this time I was struggling with my own bi-sexuality, being from a catholic house hold and all. Needless to say at that point I was very comfortable with pleasuring and getting pleasure from a nice hard cock. So as it happened my parents bred Rottweilers and I had my own dog from one of the litters and he was probably about 5 or so when he and I connected. I had watched my big 150lb Rot fuck other dogs, and he always seemed to be more interested in fucking other male dogs which I found curious and intriguing but had no idea what to do with these feelings. So one day I come home from a buddies house who had a female dog in heat, I never knew the extent of how wild a bitch in heat can make a dog until I got home and my Rot started going crazy, he wouldn't leave me alone, kept sniffing and nosing my crotch and even started humping my leg as I was standing in my living room talking to my dad. After a couple mins my dad went to the bathroom and I snuck away with my dog and closed my bedroom door. What happened next was all a big, wonderful, blur of ecstasy. Caught up in the excitement of my horny dog, as soon as I got into my room I dropped my pants and got down on all 4's. Now at this point in my life I had been fucked by my buddy before but he was still young like me, even younger actually and he was pretty average as far as size went so that was my only experience when it came to taking it. If I would have know my dogs cock was as massive as it was I may not have tried, I probably would have been scared. But, as I braced myself as he jumped right on top of me I wasn't thinking about his huge cock and knot, I was just nervous, excited, horny and ready. It only took him 2 strokes to find the hole but once he did he went crazy. That dog ravaged me for a good 2-3 mins, where all I could do was grip the carpet and whimper as I was filled up in a way I had never known. After he popped out of me I collapsed. This was the beginning of my kink, I messed around plenty with my dog up til he passed when I was a senior in high school. Since I haven't had any experiences with any animal but it has always remained a huge turn on and a dark secret. I never shared it with anyone until I met my wife, whom had some experience in the same category and we started diving a little more into the subject together and plan on one day playing together with a family pet...maybe even more if we ever find ourselves down on a farm...it's crazy, but it's life, enjoy it, keep your cards close to your chest, maybe one day not only will you find comfort in your own kinks and fantasies but might even find someone with the same kinks and you can play together.
I guess I started to kind of suspect it when I was about 15 or 16? It's hard to remember directly. I remember jokingly referring to my wolf screensaver as "instead of bikini babes". But I didn't think about it seriously back then.
It took me a couple of years to understand that it was serious, not just me liking canines for aesthethic beauty. I guess I was 17 when I first thought of myself as a zoophile. It didn't strike me then how hated zoophilia is among the general public. I understood that it was taboo, but I thought it was taboo on the same level as kink in general maybe. It wasn't until a year or so later that I learnt about the hate people have for zoophiles.
First (and only thus far) sexual experience with a canine was last year, I'm 25 years old now.
As soon as I was aware of my sexuality, I was aware of my attraction to dogs. I didn't even realize it was weird until my friend thought it was gross that I kissed my family dog. It was a bumpy ride after that haha
Same time I started taking interest in girls maybe around 11-13 I don't remember.