How to approach subject with soon to be wife? (self.zoophilia)
submitted 2015-03-15 20:48:10 by furfriend89
Recently I've been wrestling with the idea of telling my soon to be wife about my interest, fascination what ever I should call it in Zoophilia and Bestiality.
Since the age of 15 I've had an interest in animals (mainly dogs), initially animals mating, then girls with dogs ect. I've lived with and have had dogs all my life.
However I'm soon to be getting married and I really want to tell her. I've been with her for 5 years now and we are normally very open with each other. I'm very worried how she'll react though. We've joked about being with a dog once but that's all it was.
Has anyone else had the experience of opening up to their partner and how did it go?
I would love it if she could share my interest!
That's a tough one.
Zoophilia vs Bestiality.
Sorry if I caused any offence, I would then associate with Zoophilia :)
My advice is to just bring it up. I know it's kind of hard to build up the courage but if you plan on spending the rest of your life with this person then I fully believe there should be no secrets left unsaid before you say the I dos. It took a lot for me to bring it up with my SO but I did because I thought it needed to be known. She was super cool about it although I'm pretty sure she already had an idea(okay she flat out told me she knew that's what I was going to say and suspected it for a while but she did in fact share interest and we had our first time together) Chances are yours has an idea as well. The fact that you two have joked about it, is a pretty good sign that either A) she is curious B) she's caught on to you a little and is slightly encouraging it or C) at the very least she's not likely to totally flip out about it even if she hates the idea of it. This is just my personal opinion on the matter. It is a hard decision to make because the repercussions can be bad but the benefits can be fantastic. You know your relationship better than we do so you have a better idea of how well or horrible it could go.
Your story sounds very much like mine. I came out to my partner (/user/fluffalupagus) after a great deal of self doubt and testing the waters with both jokes and references to the fact that I know some zoos and what did she think about xyz. Still took me six months and whispering it in her ear a few times too quietly for her to hear it before I had the confidence I needed to speak openly. And alerting her to the fact that I had something I really wanted to tell her, but was too afraid to, a month or two before I came out.
She's taken it well, has asked me questions I've not considered before, helping both of us to better understand my sexuality, and helping me to better understand normal human sexuality.
Hmm, my thoughts here are that you arent a zoophile, but just someone with a bestiality fetish. I don't mean that to be derogatory in any way (my writing style is pretty blunt). What I mean is that you dont actually have any sexual feelings towards the animals themselves, just the thought of you or other people having sex with them turns you on (am I right here?). If thats the case then I wouldnt be as quick to tell your future wife as if you had said you feel you had a connection to dogs on par with humans (ie you were a zoophile). Do you think you will be able to keep it secret for the sake of your marriage? There is a real possibility that she wont want to stay with you if you tell her you like watching bestiality and in that case it would be best for both of you for her to know sooner rather than later.
just re-read your post. If youre on this line of thinking you have to tell her before you get married.
I would still recommend explaining it even if it is just a fetish. This person who you are living with will eventually figure something out.
With my partner, we were having a conversation about sexual fantasies. She let something slip that gave me the push I needed to bring up the topic, and now we occasionally watch videos together (anything more is still a "maybe" for us both).
No promises, but just exploring each others fantasies and fetishes might lead you to a similar outcome. Don't try to lead the conversation that direction; just encourage openness and make it plain that she won't be judged for anything she might say to you.
If you've had these kinds of convos already, just do it again. They're always fun and, in my experience, you learn something new even with someone you've been with for years. Plus, I always felt they fostered mutual trust.
I would definitely bring it up before getting married. I would watch a video with her to gauge her reaction before asking her to breed with your dog. If you have been with her for 5 years why have you not explored her feelings before now? Don't stay in the closet man, come out into the sunshine.