Words can't describe how bad I feel right now, I've been crying and hyperventilating in the fetal position all night. Yesterday, my wife and partner of 5 years, while drunk, confessed to me that she had full 100% intercourse with a dog we were borrowing for 3 days a while back, and I'm upset that she never included me or shared such a wonderful moment with me. :(
Why am I so upset over this? Before I met her, I used to let male dogs mate with me all the time, this used to be one of my greatest joys. Then I met her, and despite the fact that she's okay with zoophilia and has many many zoophile friends who often talk to her about these things, she has always reacted in a negative manner any time I would hint, mention, or outright ask her if we could perform these naughty zoo things together. It's like she's jealous in a way, afraid that I'll like that more than her or go gay on her- she's said so herself. She even acts weird and changes the subject and completely ignores me when I try to mention how I'd like us to buy dildos to use on me.
It got to the point where I completely stopped mentioning it alltogether-- she's too jealous of a person to ever let me enjoy getting knotted by a male of another species. I understood this and accepted it and moved on. But the other day when she brought this dog home, she kept on making hints like "he's un-neutered" and "he still has balls!". Of course this made my heart start pounding because he's such an attractive and intelligent dog, but years of her disapproval made it to where I never get my hopes up anymore.
So we went three whole days with that dog cuddling with us in bed, and never once did any zoo stuff happen- that is until I left for work and she let him hump and knot her vagina, "squirting fluids everywhere afterwards".
I feel absolutely horrible. Even if she somehow decided to make up for it by letting the dog hump me, I don't think I'll be able to get over this easily. I don't feel cheated on, I just feel like I've been driven nuts by her extremely frustrating hypocrisy. She led me to believe that she was against this. She did so because of jealous feelings. And now she confesses that she did something I would have loved to have been a part of.
I feel absolutely horrible.
Sounds like you really need to talk to her about this.
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No I don't believe so its easy to feel cheated and jealous when your partner acts on sexual desires without your concern, Aye hope you get things worked out between you and your partner.
I can't tell you why she chose to do what she did, but it isn't important. Trying to work out why people do what they do is one of life's fruitless endeavours. However, I understand why you would think she toyed with your feelings. I would feel the same way.
What I suggest, is that you articulate this to her. If she hasn't apologised since sobering up (if she remembers), it's probably because she feels a great deal of guilt, perhaps because of her actions but more likely because she didn't tell you sooner. When some people wrong those they love, they can't deal with the guilt of it. If I were you, I'd tell her you still love her more than anyone, tell her how her actions have made you feel, and ask what you can do together to move forward. Try to reach a conclusion together. I would suggest you ask why the topic of zoophilia made her uncomfortable in the first place, too. If it's due to envy, make sure she knows that you will always love her.
It seems the pressure that not having a proper agreement over the animals you (both?) love has caused tension and trauma in the past, so now is an opportunity to remedy that. Relationships are dynamic and bend to accommodate changing needs and circumstances. There is nothing wrong with feeling the way you do, but try to keep your head level, and your words respectful and loving.
There is a future for you, if you both commit to an agreement that satisfies both parties. Good luck.
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Maybe you should. But - as you said - not because of the sex, but because of the betrayal.
I'm by no means an expert in relationship questions, but I think it does sound like a relatively one sided relationship. You mentioned three times (!) how jealous she is...
When I read that, the word that comes to mind is "insecurity". Personally, I don't get it: I would not want to deny a partner such experiences he obviously has a strong desire for. You should think about what mindset that comes from and how she views you. But I'd say, don't overanalyze it either, because in most "normal" relationships monogamy and faithfulness seems to be a big thing and they seem to be mostly happy too...
I think the advise would normally be to consider relationship counseling to talk about the issues between you two, but of course, when zoophilia is a topic, it might be better, not to. Or maybe you should still do it, I don't know.
All in all it sounds like you are in need of a serious talk where you two answer questions like: How does she feel about what she did? How does she feel about your relationship and its future? How does she feel about your desire to be with dogs? From what you write it seems the "years of disapproval" are getting to you and it's hurting you. To what degree is she aware of that and to what degree does she care?
You stayed with her, so you obviously like her, so I'm not saying you should break up, but I think you should probably talk to her that you're not exactly happy the way this relationship goes...
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Uhm.... okay. Glad it worked out for you...
that seemed to fix itself rather quickly... <.<
Well first off I've gotta mention how having sex with a dog that is part of someone elses family is a bad thing to do.
maybe you two could look into getting one of your own. She's obviously into it despite what she says and you still enjoy it right? I'd tell her you're gonna start being involved with dogs again and she can either join you or leave you. She's gonna be jealous? tough shit, she can either put up or go home!
It's tough, the fact youre married and she's got you to change. I couldn't do that to myself, I am who I am, period. Honestly, I find it very odd how people change themselves so much to try to make a relationship work. I should probably make a note here that I'm zoo exclusive, so this is just what I've observed from an outsiders perspective.
Maybe you should have a think if this relationship is right for you? Are you really happy missing out on all the dog stuff?
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A little skimming after reading this post and I have to say, you and your wife have a lot of relationship work to do. First of all, y'all cheating on each other, even with animals, is kind of troublesome. Communication is key to every single relationship on the planet. Failure to communicate is a flaw in the relationship. Y'all either need to learn to sit down and talk stuff out, seriously, or re-evaluate each other and your relationships with each other - together - because something doesn't smell right, here. It might be dandy now but what happens when something else comes up? If this is a pattern or becomes a pattern... yeesh.