If you are truly attracted to animals then I would say go for it.

I at one point felt somewhat similar to you, I think. Many people have, in fact. When I was younger and I was feeling the emotions toward animals that I still feel today, it made me disgusted with myself. I was in a bad rut. I figured pushing it away wasn't doing anything for me so I decided to explore it more. And part of me loved it. I was still hating myself for it, knowing that society frowns upon stuff like this. I had no idea what it all meant. I was just focused on the sexual aspect and how it was all "yucky" and abnormal. But there was more to it than that. The emotions I felt, the care I expressed for my partner, it was all relevant and much more important to me. And when I put all of that together and really reflected on it, I had a very hard time finding why I actually felt disgusted. I'm not doing anything but making my mate happy, and I put all of myself into my relationship with them.

LOTS of us have had similar experiences when we first realized how we feel about animals, and the fact that society deems it wrong/gross/yer goin ta hell... the only thing that ever makes it wrong is if you're forcing the animal to do something it doesn't want to do and/or harming it.

if you have access to animals currently .. take it slow. explore them (with your hands at first) but watch for signs of discomfort or unease. don't restrain them .. that takes away their ability to choose (thinking here mostly of a cow in a milking stanchion as an example). use lube if you're certain they'd like to take it further with you. try to form a bond.. it makes things way more satisfying for both of you, IMO, than just getting your rocks off. and if you do get a clear (or even a slightly unclear) no .. well, you're likely used to your hand by now. if you just don't feel like you can hold back, you need to leave them out of it (at least directly).

regarding your feelings and concerns and fears .. i hope you spend time here and get to know people, and find out that it's ok to love animals they way you do, that there's nothing wrong with you for feeling that way, and that once you're able to get past that, (most likely), your feelings of disgust and self-loathing will hopefully go away. you need to try to not be down on yourself for these feelings. it only makes things worse, because you begin to resent the animals as well for "making you feel this way" (at least it did with me in my younger days). it's not their fault .. it's not even your fault. it just is, and learning to accept it is difficult but incredibly relieving. if you feel you really need to talk to someone, you can talk to people here privately .. but if you feel you're struggling with it and losing, it might be best to seek professional help, though of course you have to be a bit careful with that. a good psych won't try to "fix" you, but try to help you come to terms with your feelings.

best of luck and welcome to the group.

I would recommend looking into getting an intact dog if you haven't already--preferrably one that you find physically attractive--and just live life with them for awhile. If you fall in love with them and both of you are interested in taking the relationship further, then try it. If it turns out that you don't want to add sex to your relationship, that's fine, too. In any case, I would try to pinpoint, if you can, why you find it sickening. If you have any concrete concerns, feel free to ask about them here; if you don't find a sufficient answer for your concerns, then I would hold off on sex until you do. If, on the other hand, it's just a feeling you have, see if it doesn't lessen after spending quality time with your animal; my guess is that it will.

Exactly these situations are what the zeta rule "Don´t talk ´em in, talk ´em out" is aimed at, folks. None of us can determine if it would be a good idea to actually start acting sexual with an animal. It is completely up to you. It is YOUR guilt, YOUR doubts, YOUR disgust. Sometimes listening to your guts is the better choice, these feelings aren´t there for no reason. You have to realize that, once you experienced your first time with an animal, there´s no turning back, either you love it or you will be overridden with guilt and shame for the rest of your life. If you´re still in doubt, then I would strongly recommend against "just givin´ it a try" or seek reinsurement from others. Keep in mind that, once the exitement of novelty is gone, there´s no big difference between human and animal sex. " When all your wishes are granted, many of your dreams will be destroyed." Marilyn Manson,The reflecting god, from Antichrist Superstar Album

Ask yourself this: Are you really ready to take all of the downsides involved in zoophilia? Do you want to live a life in constant denial? Are you ready for the hate of society? Do you want to live a life in stealth, underneath the radar? Are you ready for a life on the outside of society? Are you ready to lose most of your friends, your job, your family when somehow exposed? Think about it. Are you ready to swap a relatively comfortable life for one that´s uncomfortable, hard and frowned upon by society, just for living out a fantasy of yours? Don´t plunge into it without taking BOTH sides into your consideration. Zoophilia and bestiality are no playgrounds to entertain yourself sexually, this is serious business. Don´t rely on other people´s opinions, you have to decide this entirely on your own. The doubts you obviously experience are there to protect you from doing things you might regret later. And before any sexual actions with an animal, you should really gather enough knowledge and non sexual experience about your favorite species to interact with it properly. Do you already have experience as an animal owner? How old are you? What do you think a zoo´s life is like? `Cause life as a zoo is composed of maybe 5% of sexuality, but 95% of being a genuine, trustworthy and reliable animal owner. Zoophilia is NO sexual eldorado, it mainly is hard work to provide for your animal companion. So, please refrain from just doing "it" unless you are really sure what you are about to get involved in. Do the thinking with the head ABOVE your belt, not the one BELOW it ( if you´re male; what I assume). There are people dieing from hunger, from the lack of drinking water, but there´s nobody who has died from not having sex with an animal. You won´t, either. Think before you act...

Let me tell you about the first time I went down on a mare.

I had been sexing mares for a while, and I absolutely knew in my head that she was as clean as could be. I had been responsible for taking care of her for months and she got baths, brushed and so forth plus daily cleaning(rinsing) of the face and under the tail.

As I went down on her I had to overcome this back of the throat disgust. At the time it was very disturbing because I'd never felt like that with a horse before. Turns out it took 5 seconds for me to realize what I had been missing and it was worth it. Never had that thought again.

My point being, even in self-confidant zoos, the social conditioning of "animals are dirty", "I am sick" doesn't ever really go away. Experience just teaches us that society is full of bad ideas and shitty people.

The rest is really your decision, but to be honest you sound like you have decided and are worried about the consequence. I can't tell you you won't hate yourself the morning after. Some people do. I will tell you that for me, it was and is one of the most unearthly experiences I've ever had.

There are many people who identify as zoophiles who don't engage in sexual activity with animals. There are also plenty of people who don't identify as zoophiles who have sex with animals.

You call yourself what you want, and you do what you want. But the most important thing to remember always is this:

There is nothing that you can imagine or create or invent in your own head that is in any way wrong or sick or immoral.

I had a zoosexual relationship with a dog when I was younger. I still feel attractions to certain animal features. But I'm not really attracted to animals the same way anymore. I don't want to have sex with a dog or anything else.

Do I fantasize about it? Hell yes, because fantasy is usually better than reality anyway. You can have loving, reciprocal relationships with an animal, and intimacy will tend to come naturally if you're not too scared to try it, and sometimes it will be really, really nice. And sometimes it will be... ahem, like having sex with an animal.

They can't always give you the total satisfaction of a human partner. They live short lives. They have unique smells and preferences and are unpredictable and when they want something a certain way, you can't really change their mind. You can be intimate a hundred times for the one time that it's really perfect.

Don't force yourself to do something that you may only find appealing in fantasy. Just because you like the fantasy doesn't mean you like the reality. They are very, very distinctly different things. That doesn't mean you won't have a different idea of yourself later or change your mind, but take it at your own pace. If it's something you want bad enough, you won't feel bad when the time comes.

Just make sure that if you do ever try intimacy in real life with an animal partner, that you respect them, care for them and feel for them like you would any human partner. Sex with an animal should be something done with a mutual desire. People who just want to have sex with an animal because it's more convenient than trying to find a human partner are simply selfish and would do better just buying a sex doll or something.

Fantasize. Read or write stories, follow the communities and visit subreddits like /r/animalromance just to look at tender, non-pornographic pictures of animals and people being loving and beautiful together. See how that makes you feel, and if it makes you feel good, wonderful! Again, you don't need to go any further. For many of us, the fantasy is enough, and more than that would be uncomfortable.

If you're not comfortable with it, don't do it.

I'm not really into humans physically, but they appeal romantically and don't disgust me physically, so I get my rocks off with them. My girlfriend knows all about my sexuality, and we've discovered that her political views about liberty and freedom mean that she wants to be comfortable with all that I am, but despite literally encouraging me on occasion, she isn't really able to let me do it. She wants to, but she can't. It was clear to me before it was clear to her, but her sexuality is 100% monogamy, and she really needs that of me too. (Ironically, when we got together, her desire for monogamy was something I was looking for as I wanted a crutch to keep me from shagging dogs, and yet that is exactly what she briefly encouraged).

If you're not comfortable with it, don't do it. You'll regret it, feel guilty, and it's just not necessary to dive in at the deep end when so many of us never act on it anyway. Myself, I've still never gone further than kisses (which were amazing, but just kisses).

I was in your boat for a loooong time. I'm still pretty on-the-fence about whether or not I'd ever act with an animal though I'm not against it for me or others.

What might help you is trying to pinpoint why you find it sickening. Are you afraid you could hurt an animal partner? Do you worry about what might happen if you were caught? Is it perhaps sex itself that you find revolting? If you know what's bothering you, it's easier to cope.

Finally I'll say this- if you aren't comfortable with something or something feels wrong, don't do it. It's setting yourself up for guilt and bad psychological effects. If you do choose to act on it, as others have said, take it very slow to avoid rushing into something you will regret.