You should only be treated for anxiety & depression. This will involve going on medication. Probably an antidepressant and a fast acting anti anxiety. They can't force you into something like shock therapy and if they try to "treat" your zoophillia just find a different doctor.

Here's my experience: I've only ever seen one therapist, and overall it was a good experience. Personally, I believe that having sex with an animal is wrong (and that's based on belief in a fundamental difference between humanity and other animals--I don't have any issue with consent, etc.), so it'd be much easier if I wasn't attracted to animals. But, for the moment, I am. I tried to follow my therapist's instruction, and have come to the conclusion that yes, with enough patience, you can suppress lustful thoughts about animals. However, that doesn't necessarily change your attractions. I won't go as far as to say that sexuality is permanent, but it is persistent, and since I have no desire to even encourage sexual thought towards people, my attraction hasn't changed. But it's just an attraction, and even if having sex with an animal is wrong, that doesn't mean that being attracted to animals is. I've ended up at the point where I've ceased, for the most part, being anxious about the attraction simply because I don't know any way to fix it. Not obsessing over it I can deal with, even if it's hard, so I've focused my attention to that. I think that as long as both you and your therapist agree on what you can expect to change and what you can't, it can go well.

Hi, I'm a female who grew up having and hiding a zoophilic relationship and while I never went through some of what you're dealing with, I do know a little about conflicted feelings, confusion and fear that I'll be "normal" because of what I did and felt.

I'll say right off, that it did get better. I'm not a practicing zoophile anymore but I have a wonderful life with someone who knows my secret and loves me anyway, and I have no more regrets or worry about my attractions past or present. It took a long time but I learned how to balance it with my normal life and it became a source of strength rather than fear. I sincerely hope you can see this light at the end of the tunnel, and I know college is an extremely confusing time to be trying to figure yourself out with tons of pressure from boys and girls alike to fit into some kind of expected role.

I didn't go to therapy at the time, but I was very depressed at times and looking back, I wish I was brave enough to go through with it then when I needed it the most.

Now knowing what I know about therapy, I want to pass a few things on to you:

Your therapist should be making you feel better about yourself and it is their job to give you the tools to cope better with emotions and feelings that you cannot handle, using a combination of techniques and possibly medications to help you manage overwhelming feelings and loss of control. I can't stress this enough. If your therapist is not making you feel better, you need a new therapist. It's your right to "shop around" until you find someone who you feel safe with.

Also, nobody is going to shock you. Electric current type therapy is actually still used in some extreme cases where a patient cannot function normally because of a physiological condition, but it's not like the movies anymore and it's a carefully targeted procedure. There are no forced physical or electrical lobotomies performed on girls who can't behave anymore. If ANYONE says otherwise, get away from that person immediately.

The only other things I can say are a few pointers I think you need to read and repeat to yourself:

1. Accept and love this part of yourself. Indulge in your thoughts and fantasies in your own time, in your own way without guilt or shame. What you feel is your business and yours alone. Nobody can take fantasies, thoughts and pleasurable feelings away from you. You're not hurting anyone or anything so don't allow the imagined judgement of others to hurt you.

2. Discontinue talking about or considering talking about zoosexuality with anyone other than a very trusted and understanding therapist that you have a good relationship with, and even then only if absolutely necessary. If your therapist does not make you feel comfortable, you find a new one. You say you don't want anyone to force you into believing it's wrong or trying to take it away from you, so hold onto that. That tells me that your anxiety and terror has more to do with a general condition than a specific facet of your sexuality. You're not obligated to tell your therapist or anyone else anything past "Sexual thoughts give me panic attacks." They won't force anything out of you if they're professional. And again, if they make you uncomfortable, you should find someone else.

3. Consider the possibility that your anxiety disorder may NOT be related to your zoophilia. It may be, but there is also a strong possibility that it has deeper roots in your childhood that need to be addressed before you can start healing. It may be possible that the problem you think you have is only a symptom of something else. There are lots of zoophiles who have gone on to lead very happy and rewarding lives no matter where they fall on the wide spectrum.

4. Did I say it gets better? It gets better. Look forward to the time when you have your own life, and can live the way you want and love whoever or whatever you want without answering to anyone about what goes on in your own head. Imagine that freedom, make that your goal and reward.

5. Don't over indulge in horror stories you may read about people being abused or jailed for their sexuality. Actively manage how you think and the things you think about.

If you want to chat, send me a PM.

I have brought up zoophilia with some therapists. Because I too, was feeling depressed for being something people consider so horrible.

Anyway, as others have already pointed out, you don't need to tell them about zoophilia. You can choose to either wait and bring it up after some sessions, or not bring it up at all. You can mention having sexual fantasies that others might consider strange, and if the therapist asks about details, it's always all right to say "sorry, that's too intimate for me to share".

In my own experience, I feel actual psychologists/psychiatrists are better at accepting zoophilia, or at least, to treat the bad stuff (depression/anxeity) and not trying to treat zoophilia. But with random counselors with other backgrounds, it's more of a gamble. Not that they will force you to shock therapy, mind you, more that they might say things that are well-meaning but come off as inconsiderate (such as your experience with counselling in high school). Get to a proper psychologist with a degree, who works in a professional setting. And if it doesn't work out, you can always change your therapist. As you can hear, I've "shopped around" quite a lot before I found one that I felt really helped!

While zoophilia and the prejudice towards zoos can be heavy loads to carry, I think that having the rest of your life in balance helps. If you are a person who is easily stressed out, maybe you can work with that with a therapist, and it will also help with coping with these feelings?

force me into shock therapy or treatment for my zoosexuality

I am not a lawyer, but I am pretty sure that they can't legally do it. The fear is not completely irrational. In Hani Miletski's book "Understanding Bestiality and Zoophilia" one Zoo reported:

— “ ...I was talking with one (therapist)... and the first thing he wanted to do was lock me up for about a week for observation... I know of at least three people... who have been locked up, treated to electroshock therapy, drug therapy, and all that, just because they admitted that yes, they were a zoo...”

and just yesterday I read this comment in /r/ainbow in regards to "gay conversion therapy":

This is the white-washed conversational version of conversion therapy. The men I spoke with have harsher memories of electro-shock therapy, rape, physical abuse, deprivation techniques, and aversion therapy.

So in the past these things did happen. But as I said I do not believe they can happen legally today. If anyone tries to force you into something like that you should nope the fuck out and see whether you can anonymously report them somewhere.

I have never been in therapy, but I can copy&paste a bit about this from Miletski's book:

About half of the 41 men (21=51%) who have been in psychotherapy told their psychotherapists they have had sex with animals. Question 65 asked about the psychotherapists’ reactions upon finding out their clients/patients had sex with animals. Eleven of these 21 men (52%) reported they experienced negative reactions. Seven men (33%) experienced a neutral reaction, and five men (24%) reported they experienced positive reactions from their psychotherapists (the total is more than 100% since several men related different reactions from the different therapists they saw).

The following are examples of what the 11 men who experienced negative reactions from their psychotherapists related —

— “ Sometimes I felt like a lab rat. (Had to) end my last therapy because my therapist tried to force me stopping. My experiences with ‘professional’ therapists were mostly negative, in fact so bad that my last one nearly drove me into suicide.”

— “ He thought I was joking and laughed.” And —

— “ I told the therapist that I was a zoophile. He didn’ t know what a zoophile was. I left minutes later.”

The following are examples of what the seven men who reported they experienced a neutral reaction from their psychotherapists related —

— “ He had no problem with it.” And —

— “ One therapist called a lawyer to find out if she had to report my contact — lawyer said zoophilia victimless and reporting not necessary (in CA).”

The following is an example of what one of the five men who reported they experienced positive reactions from their psychotherapists related —

“ He was very curious and understanding. Not once did he bring up the issue that I ‘had’ to change who I was. He said it was more important that I be happy with myself.” (This participant, however, reported he had a total of five psychotherapists).

Since most of the men went to more than one psychotherapist, the professionals’ reactions varied. For instant, participant A=1 related: “ First one tried to ‘cure’ me. Others said it was no problem.” And participant G=7 reported his psychotherapists “ didn’ t know how to handle it in three out of four cases.” Only two women (33%) out of the six who have been in psychotherapy told their psychotherapists they have had sex with animals. Neither had a negative experience. One woman related: “ Two of them were neutral. Other two didn’ t know.” The other woman related that her psychotherapist’ s reaction was “ Puzzlement since I was her first zoo, then acceptance.”

Surprisingly, only about half of the 41 men and only two women out of the six who had been in psychotherapy told their psychotherapists they have had sex with animals. Eleven of these 21 men reported they experienced negative reactions from their psychotherapists. Particularly noteworthy, some participants reported their therapists lacked knowledge of zoophilia, laughed upon hearing their client was having sex with animals, or tried to force their clients to stop having sex with animals.

This is not to discourage you, but to encourage you: You had a bad experience, and I believe that is because the woman you went to was bad at her job. As these examples show, you are not the only one who had bad experiences with psychotherapists, but they also show that if you search around for one who is good at his/her job, you are likely to find one without too much trouble.

I've told two therapists about my sexuality, after a lot of support and pressure from my human girlfriend.

The first was found specially by her, because I had suffered a breakdown after the government of Denmark announced they would ban bestiality. My girlfriend looked for a zoo-safe therapist specifically for me.

The second was a sex-and-relationship couples therapist that she found for us, which she found because neither of us was particularly happy with our sex life. It took a while before I was comfortable telling him that I was a zoo, that my attraction to humans is limited to my ability to fetishise random things, that I've never get turned on just looking at a human. My girlfriend put a lot of pressure on me to come out to him, and I was terrified.

Both of these councillors are quite comfortable with me. They've helped me be more comfortable with what I am, and have spontaneously made comparisons to what it had been like to be gay 100 years ago and suggested I read "Perv" by Jesse Bering. But, despite the pressure from my girlfriend, I was only comfortable talking about it with him after I anonymously asked his organisation if I could safely discuss it.

My girlfriend spontaneously suggested adding "Z" to LGBT. She's absolutely not zoo herself — she's about as vanilla as you get and allergic to dogs.

In dealing with depression, anxiety, family issues, etc., I've been to a few therapists over the years. This isn't a representative sample by any means, but I'll just give a brief synopsis of each, from worst to best.

• One refused to see me again, asking that I find a specialist and get my medication changed.
• Two have basically ignored the subject after I told them, focusing on other issues that are more basic.
• One was very intellectually curious, and would engage me in long conversations about it that kept far away from the emotional parts for me.
• One thanked me for my trust and was understanding, and said that he felt a spiritual connection with the German Shepherds he raised, though not a sexual one.
• One I was afraid to tell as she was more my mother's therapist than mine. However, when I was having trouble, my mother told her about it with the understanding that she tell no one else (confidentiality is a boon here). Over later conversations, she said that she didn't agree with it, and has pushed slightly for me to date and interact with people, but overall she views it as no problem if I don't harm anyone and treat my partner with respect and kindness, no matter their species.

Your fears are difficult, and I've had to deal with them myself. The most important thing here is to find someone you feel comfortable with, get to know each other a little, and only tell them when you're ready. If they get too pushy or defensive, they're not for you and you're free to find someone else. They're also legally required not to tell anyone about it if you haven't harmed anyone and aren't likely to. There's little need to worry.

P.S. I remember you from before, and I think a lot of the negative comments had to do with other aspects of your identity, which are outliers even here. I hope you have a better experience this time.

Thanks for all the support, I really appreciate it! :) If I went to reply to each response it would take forever... After having a really...uncomfortable talk with my mother about whether or not I was staying at the college or coming home and getting therapy, I ended up concluding to her that I will not be moving back nor taking therapy and that I was going to keep attending college.

It was a tough decision but I'm hoping to find it in myself to power through the rough and touchy subjects in class and ignore the individuals and their words that may go against my beliefs and continue towards finishing my degree and moving on in life.

I using Knotty.me again and hopefully if I have any problems concerning zoophilia I can get some reassurance.

I personally haven't had much luck with therapy, but I know people who have. I wouldn't worry about ECT, they can't force you to have it and they only do it in extreme cases where patients don't respond to typical treatment. Even if you did have it it wouldn't do anything to your zoophillia, it would just help with depression. You mentioned your at college, why don't you try therapy there? The best therapy I had was from student services and it was free.