We got married about 8 months ago, were both pretty young (I'm 24 she's 23) and everything was all hunky dory. I never told her I was attracted to animals when we were dating because it never really seemed like it would matter much. I mean I've only told a couple before and that ended with the expected results, so I figured I would just keep it to myself for the rest of my life. No biggie right? right?...
Well who could have guessed that a couple months into married life she wants to hear about all my sexual desires, and how far down the proverbial porn rabbit hole I've gone, and how I seem to know so much about any kind of sex act she can imagine. Knowing that she grew up in traditional conservative small town style, I told her a few bit's and that there's not really much that I'm not willing to try with her if she wants to.
I knew I would have to tell her eventually. She could tell that I wasn't telling her everything. And I Don't want to start out our marriage based on lies. However, I am a coward when it comes to bringing up a possibly painful topic. Because of this I decide to wait until it comes up in conversation.
Finally, the day after Christmas, she asks again and I try to evade. So instead we start talking about "the strangest fetish she can imagine" which turned out to be bestiality. she asked me if I know much about it. I asked her what she would like to know.
Mostly she wanted to know how it starts with people. So I told her a few possible ways(accidental, taboo attraction, unknown reason, etc...). We talked about the consent argument, and she agrees there's not really much wrong with it as long as the animal is not being harmed or the person being forced. And about any kind of health concerns that could exist both physical and mental.
After a long conversation over those topics I figured no better time than the present to tell her. She was concerned at first, and asked how I got into it. So I told her and we talked about it. she was shocked that I have a zoo side, but relieved that it wasn't anything like pedophilia or necro lol.
After talking it out she says she understands that I have these needs, but she knows she cannot fulfill them. And I would never force her to. Nor could I ever engage in sexual activity with a dog or any other animal again knowing that just the act itself would hurt her. But she says that if I have this kind of need, than I am free to find it online and take care of my drive. She is more to me than anything. It feels so good to be accepted by someone after they know. I finally feel free, like I'm not keeping myself a secret from the world. I can breathe.
Thank you for reading! TL;DR Told my wife of 8 months I like animals, she loves me even though she doesn't relate.
I'm so glad she was accepting and understanding!
Me too. I don't ever expect her to join in or anything. But just to be accepted is the best feeling in the world.
Congratulations. I applaud your bravery and wish you both well.
thank you! was kinda terrifying in the moment but all is better now
"Accidental"? There's an interesting mental image.
Anyway, glad it worked out for you. Framing it as what you've done in the past is probably a bit safer than going on about present-day interests.
lol accidental as in either stumbled across it online or woke up to a dog licking you kinda thing
I woke up mid orgasm to my penis IN our family dogs muzzle...
"Accidental" is definitely a valid term for source of introduction...
Didn't you hear about that Saudi guy that fell into that girl's vagina!?
Didn't you hear about that Saudi guy that fell into that girl's vagina!?
Glad this story had a happy ending.
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"Happy Ending" HaHa I get it.
I'm glad this ended well. I'm surprised you didn't decide to discuss this before marriage, but that's a moot point now.
I wish I had. But honestly I never even thought about it being a problem. My dog was stolen before we met and I haven't had an animal partner since then. So the only time I even thought about it was when I was alone. I never even tried to avoid it or cover it up other than deleting search histories, it just never came up. I think I was just so used to acting like it doesn't exist in front of other people that it glazed over to her too. All that being said, I'm so glad to have it in the open.
Also I am becoming more and more painfully aware that I am still young and dumb, maybe less so than in teen years. But not so much that I Don't come close to ruining my life from time to time.
Sorry to hear about your dog.
Sounds similar to how I came out to my girlfriend. Congratulations!
I gotta say I'm relieved to hear you did it now. If you had chickened out and waited 10-15 years, that could have been a dealbreaker right there. Best to you and your beautiful wife!
I want to tell my parents.
So... You're young and just starting out in this marriage. And you're 100% sure it wont go bad because divorce only happens to all those other people that were 100% sure. And your wife just asked for your deepest darkest secrets so she can put that info away for later.
Dude. She now has a bullet with your name on it. She may or may not use it at the time of her choosing. It could be next year or it could be 30 years from now. It could be used in court or it could be used in public. There's really no way that a bullet that can only hit you can be used for your benefit but you figured why not start handing them out.
Were you hoping that she'd be into animals too? Figure that out before entering into a legal contract with the government where you surrender your future to a woman and her muscular boyfriend, the State. I want you to remember ol' RasterWolf in a few years when you look down and see the blood spreading under your shirt next to that little bullet hole. Never. Never. Never give people bullets with your name on it even if you have one with their name on it... Especially if that person has a legal interest in you and your life and property. Ghah.
At least there's no proof and it'd just be a "He said, She said" situation. The accusation of "Your honor, he keeps looking up bestiality porn on the internet." is never trumped by "Yeah but she said she was fine with it!". It just wont fly!
So no. I do not approve. I am not happy for you because, no, it has not ended well. I'm actually sad for you. The end of your story wont come for many many decades (We can hope)--But what you've done doesn't expire till you're dead. At that time if the bullet hasn't hit you, you can think back to ol' RasterWolf and say "God. (choke) That guy was such a horse fucker! (cough) I hope he died lonely with only dozens of goats and ponies to screw (grabs chest) while I got to look at some naughty porn with the wife's permission! (fall to ground and then in a whisper) Hah. That idiot RasterWolf! He...was...so.....wrong.(choke, gag then silence)"
I'm not 100% sure it wont go bad. And I don't know if it will come up again later in life in a bad light. What I do know is that the happiest and longest married people I know say that the most important thing is honesty. Complete transparency, regardless of what is right or wrong. If both people want to be together then they will be, if not then covering things up will only delay the inevitable. Either that or one or the other will be living in a lie, and I can't to that for the rest of my life.
I understand the concern about legality, but that is less of a concern for me because it is legal in our state. Also, I think if you're getting married for financial or legal reasons then you're doing it wrong. While there are many benefits in those areas, if it's the center your marriage will fail anyway.
I think that hiding and lying to the person closest to your heart throughout your relationship would be worse personally.
Not every relationship that ends ends in feelings of resentment and hate.
You could say... you married the right person. ;)
Even if she's into different things, it's great that you don't have to hide something from the person you are closest to.