Sorry for you loss. It's depressing that there are more and more posts about someone's pet dying or some abused dog.

The pain never goes away my friend. Our way of dealing with it changes, however. You are doing a good thing sharing your past joy with us.

Every time it hurts, I remind myself, that wound was caused by the most beautiful thing I ever met in my life, so how bad a wound can it really be?

It helps some.

Very powerful pictures, thank you for sharing these.

I had many tears in my eyes, when I read your posts.

I don't even know you, but this just gets so close, because you expressed all your desperation and true feelings for your love. I love my canine girl as much, and I know one day I will also be in the situation of saying goodbye, and the shorter lifespan of dogs will make it come faster than I would be able to realize... but I don't want to think about it already now, I love her, and want to treat her well, as long as I am able to.

I feel so sorry for you, (being over-sensitive as usual, I am crying again now), and I hope you don't have to consider your life as "over" now. This pain inside will never go away, but I honestly wish that you can smile again, one day.

Assuming that you speak german:

Danke dass du dich so liebevoll um sie gekümmert hast. Alles Gute für deine Zukunft.

I'm so sorry for your loss, 30. Thank you for sharing these pictures with us, she was beautiful, and no doubt shared a wonderful life with you.

Hey there, guys...

I´m still sitting inside the house all day, playing videogames to get a little distraction... Can´t say that this strategy works well...well, within the last two years of Wiena´s life, I tried to prepare myself for the day she dies. Now I know that nothing can prepare you properly. I´m still struggeling with my sadness, this inner void. She meant so much to me, she literally was my life, my entire life was built around her and her needs.I guess it will take me some years to accept the simple fact that she´s not with me anymore. On the 6th, I had her for 22 years and turned 44, so we both were a couple for one half of my life. I received many private messages from people offering thier help and I really appreciate that. Thank you. Luckily I can talk about my loss in real life, my family was very supportive the last few weeks and I met someone on BF nearly 3 years ago who now is my roommate for over a year. He also was a big help when I was desperate and numbed. To prevent any suspicions: we´re both hetero and only interested in animals. Just two zoos trying to support each other. Yes, I´m still floating in a sea of tears...one thing I´ve noticed is that the frequency of me dreaming as a horse is dramatically increasing, alomst every second night I wake up, soaked in sweat, trying to shake off this strange and eerie feeling of shifting back into the "normal", biped reality tunnel. With Wiena, I used to have such dreams once a moth approximately. Okay, enough of that. Today, I had a long conversation with my mother and sister and they gave me something I can look forward to, so here´s what my future will bring: we will buy a farm within the next two months! I had plans for my own stables for a long time, but it always seemed impossible for me financially. In Germany, prices for a halfway decent farm are high, around 400 K to 800 K and I never could earn enough to afford this. But today I was offered the possibility from my entire family: we will buy a farm with lots of land so I can make my own hay for the horses, we will move from a suburban to an abandoned, rural area so I can run my own business. I´m still undecided whether I only should keep my own horses or will rent boxes to horseowners, but basically I will have a better and "zoo-friendlier" environment when I buy my second, probably last mare in my life. With Wiena, I had to deal with all the inconveniences a "normal", public riding club will have to offer for a young couple. At least, I have something to look forward to...we already have picked four possible farms, all of them have no neighbors,lots of land, already existing stables that are solid, clean and not cheapass built, a riding hall with a pretty good sandmix especially for dressage riding, everything ready to use once we signed the contract. I´ve also made up my mind: I will buy another mare or maybe two. I even decided that my new horsewife will be an all-white and pink full size lady...not only because this is aesthetically appealing to me, but also to have a clear optical distinction between my future wife and Wiena. I´ve also made an appointment at a bodymod shop, I´ll get Wiena´s neck number branded onto my own neck in the first week of march. Having all of this laying in front of me, there seems to be a small glimpse of hope for me. Of course Wiena can and will never be replaceable and she has left quite big footsteps/hoofprints to fill out. But I believe she would not want me to be the sorrowfilled and apathetic beanbag I am right now. She would rather like to see me happy, as she always wanted me to be happy. I have realised that everything that I am is in fact her. She made me and as long as I live, she will live in me. She always will be the love of my life, my number one, my perfect little mouse. She taught me what true love is all about. I will honor her with every second I have left on this planet. I was gifted with meeting Wiena, even more when we both became a couple and led a wonderful life for 22 years. It seems that now is the time to keep Wiena´s spirit alive by passing it on to my new mare. I simply cannot live without my species, that´s one thing these weeks without Wiena have shown me..I need ´em like air.When we are done with moving and the farm is all set up, I will go searching for my second, possibly last, all-white horsewife...who knows, maybe karma isn´t such a bitch and I manage to find a white and pink mare with exactly this type of character that made me fall in love with Wiena...

You see, there´s something I can look forward to, I´ll soon be the owner of a farm, don´t have to pay rent for myself or my horse(s), can do whatever I like and live a life with an equine partner without any interference...I don´t have to work for somebody else anymore, shoveling manure for literally no money, trying to teach dumb and talentless people how they can get in contact with an animal they don´t even understand the least little bit....almost paradise....with one little flaw: she won´t be there to enjoy all of this with me...