They´re already throwing us under the bus...wake up,man. I don´t need a "USA" (unified sexual aberrants)...thank you for proving me right about using/abusing zoophilia as a stepping stone for your intended agenda of fucking around with anything with a pulse (and surely it´s not limited to that...right?). Don´t you see that it´s exactly this kind of shit that turns ANY and EVERY try to gain tolerance into shit? Gosh, that really makes me angry...you really make me angry. Especially when I memorize that you´re basically a zoo virgin and never experienced what exactly it is like having to live with it. Exactly this attention seeking is what gives us an even worse public image than we already have. You "fought" almost an entire year with those OpBeast asses...What results can you offer, what positive changes have you managed to achieve? None....wake the fuck up, man. Not even your own LGBT kind wants to have you around, not even virtually.

Well, I´m fed up with that BS. With yours, with ZETA, with the entire scene. In the last year, I teamed up with about 15 other true(!) zoos who are also fed up with taking shit from everyone. We formed T.Z.A.R. to infuse some new thoughts and points of view into this scene, mainly through discussions and pamphlets. We already have lots of propaganda to share, but hearing you I assume publishing this would be throwing pearls before swine. One of my Austrian comrads wrote that he does not see any positive outcome by simply talking, others backed him up and I had real trouble to prevent T.Z.A.R. from becoming a militant counterforce. Well, thanks to you I no longer will...if this is what you need to wake the fuck up, then you shall have it. I´m so sick and tired of fantasizing manchilds trying to explain zoophilia to me,an exclusive zoo practicing this orientation for more than two decades withput any interception or problems, with the knowledge of quite a big number of people. I´m sick and tired of this apologetic attitude towards all of this shit that´s going on right in front of our eyes and no one objects in the name of a misunderstood "tolerance". You know what? Tolerate my ass, mate! You want a new name for all of you "non-exclusives"? Here ya go...how about "Widerlicher Menschenbumser"? How can someone have sex with the most abhorrent and despicable species ever setting foot on this planet? A species killing the entire planet? Yuck! Don´t call me shortfused, my fuse is burning since the mid-nineties.But you can call me fascist like you always do when someone dare to contradict. A superb "totschlagargument"....just pulling the nazi card. Keep on turning a blind eye for all the backlashes you "Menschenbumser" zoos have caused to our idea, an idea bigger than me, you, ZETA or anyone and anything else, keep deaf ears to people like me, we´re just talking rubbish, right? What exactly have you achieved the last twenty years by including every stupid MF in zoophilia? Nothing, you only made it worse, not only for you, but for us true zoos alike. You demand fairness, right? Sholdn´t you be capable of giving what you demand for yourselves? How about a little fairness for those you seem to render unimportant because they´re only a "small sub group in a small sub group". If only you could see how many private messages I have received since I started posting my "intolerant bullshit" in here expressing gratefulness for me telling like it is.... Yes, I´m straighforward and far from being polite and nice. But the zoo scene never was intended to be a hug box, a basin to collect everyone not fitting into anywhere else...you only made it into that.

When reading your stuff, I constantly have the feeling that you´re misinterpreting anything you don´t like on purpose, do you? Don´t be ashamed to confess, at least it´s the traditional tactics of the LGBT movement. I´m a big fan of the comedy show "Little Britain" and Daffyd Thomas is my favourite character....can you guess why? ;) I also understand why the gay community is giving bisexuals such a hard time. Not that I would be happy about it, but for me it´s only natural for an interest group to keep their turf clean. You said you´re turning 30 this year and that may be one reason why you don´t seem to undertand what is going on within the LGBT community. You´re simply too young to know where it all came from and what stages the fight for tolerance went through. It´s funny that even a significant number of gay organisations have turned against what their movement has become these days. The shrillness, the aggressiveness, muting every kind of criticism by calling it intolerance and ,when the intolerance card won´t have the desired effect of silencing, even concealed fascism just brought a severe backlash. I think that your movement has lost it, you just ooverdid it attacking general sexual morals and standards. When even an openly gay German comedian, Sascha Korff, makes fun of the promiscuity of his own scene "Oh, you two are gay and together for 4 months now? Well, in Cologne, we call this golden anniversary", one could and should think that something went terribly wrong... One thing you don´t see here: the more you try to push your agenda, the harder the resistance will get. Thus I insist so much on monogamous, exclusive zoophilia.

You quoted some statistics about suicidal tendencies in homo- and bisexuals. You know what they say about statistics, do you? What if these tendencies are not directly related to the "lack of" acceptance for alternate sexualities, but directly related to promiscuity and mistaking hollow and empty random sexuality for love? What if you mistake cause and effect here? People frequently use the strategy of trying to fill the holes in their heart by excessive usage of drugs, gambling, sexuality, etc... for Wilhelm reich, excessiveness on one sector always hinted at deficits on another. I don´t think the suicidal tendencies are directly connected to the level of acceptance. Today, we have a very homo- and bisexualfriendly society, you can be that way without going to prison anymore, we Germans had an openly homosexual foreign minister, the major of Berlin, Klaus Wowereit, also openly gay, major of Hamburg, Ole von Beust...do I have to continue? So, what exactly is your problem here? Tolerance originates from the latin word "tolerare", its true meaning is "to endure something you´re not consenting with". So, pardon me if I get the notion you´re aiming at something completely different: you´re aiming at immunity. Anyone expressing any criticism? "Homophobe!", you´re shouting, just like Little Britain´s Daffyd Thomas. It has become a reflex. By the way: a phobia is an illness that needs psychological treatment. So you´re calling anyone not automatically agreeing to the gay agenda basically a sick person...any familiarities you notice here? I´m sorry, but I smell drama queen shit here....even heterosexuals have to deal with hate because the partner one chooses does not seem okay for others. Too young, too old, inadaequate social status, not enough money etc....you demand normality for the LGBT,right? Then this must be shocking: being hated IS normality. So what is it you want? Being petted for being gay/bi/zoo/anything ? Do you want to be applauded for your sexuality? "Wow, he´s gay/bi/zoo...many bravery, such nobility, much adore!"

You wrote you still ponder suicide. I don´t want to step on your toes even more than I already did, but allow me to ask you why the hell you don´t get a dog and start living your life? What is it that would make you non-suicidal and happy? Get your quadruped partner, close the door, draw the curtains and be happy, goddamnit. Or isn´t the actual act what you really want? I made a statement before and will repeat it: You can live a happy life, even as a zoo.The only thing you shouldn´t base your own mental health on is being able to TALK openly about it. Is talkng about it more important to you than the actual act? I don´t give a flying fuck about it whether you can be open about zoophilia or not. It isn´t relevant. Laws don´t matter, society doesn´t matter...I hate this tendency to "self victimize". Just be honest: living a zoophile life is not that hard if you think about it. But if you expect applause and standing ovations for being "soo special", well, then you´re totally wrong and should lower your expectations by a huge amount.

Please don´t get me wrong, I´m not as anti as you may think. I just see where all of this sex lib is drifting to and know that total freedom is basically the same as the cake in Portal...a lie. The concepts behind this hippie-esque approach have failed long ago...just take a look what happened to the "free love" movement from the seventies. Learn from history or you´ll be doomed to redo the same mistakes and end up with the same bad results.

I just saw my name mention and found the thread, I'm always surprised when someone references my name or story.

But my reason for posting is that after skimming through the threads here, I wanted you to know that you can be content and happy with your life, no matter how bad you think it is and how unfair, it's still in your power to find solutions. It's too precious to give up, there's too much to experience.

My hubby and I were talking about zombies the other night. (Trust me, I'm going somewhere with this!) We were talking about what we would do if it were real and one of us or both of us were bit, that is to say one of us had an infection we knew would lead to a horrible death. I'm a little morbid so I asked first, "Would you kill me if I asked you to? So I wouldn't have to suffer?" His answer surprised me.

No, he said. He said that he wouldn't because in all diseases, there's always a small percentage of people who are immune. Even rabies, a disease with no cure and 100% mortality, one person survived a full on infection.

This led to a discussion about hope, about how we wouldn't have met if a thousand things worked out differently, that even if your chances seem slim, there IS a chance, and we need to keep living for those chances, because tomorrow could be your day. Or the next. Or the next. And all we can do in the meantime is make every moment valuable, to find love for just breathing and being here to experience all this serendipity.

But part of finding that simple happiness is choosing what kind of environment to be a part of. I was in a dark place for a long time, then slowly realized that I was the dark place. I made my life dark by not seeking a better way of life and a better way to think. I don't like talking much about it, but therapy helped too. A lot. I realized that the universe wasn't going to help me or make me happy and that there was no problem in my life that I couldn't either change or change how I felt about it.

Not too much longer after that I met my husband and my life took a direction I never thought possible, I thought I was too broken. My story I posted doesn't even begin to touch how fucked up my childhood was. I never thought I could be happy with anyone or comfortable in my own skin. Now that I'm healing more and more I can look back and say that zoophilia was the secret joy, it was the highlight of my adolescence and one really, really nice thing I got to experience. But I didn't used to think that way, in fact it's a complete reversal. I'm always shocked how we humans can adapt, evolve and change the way we look at everything, even ourselves.

So all that said, I've read plenty of 30-30's posts here. He's got a big voice about some things, but don't let anyone like him, on either side of any debate, pull you down. You are amazing and beautiful because you're a person and capable of far, far more than you have been led to believe.