Anyone have any tips for keeping spirits up while pet-less? (self.zoophilia)
submitted 2016-02-20 09:49:41 by actuallynotazoophile ok, I lied

Im getting closer to getting a dog but its almost making it harder for me to cope, being so close yet so far. Just wondering what if anyone has any advice for coping in this situation?

dammit, this sucks :/

electricfoxx 2 points on 2016-02-20 10:32:28

I'm totally with you there. I do spend a lot of time deciding what breed of dog I would love to get first.

  • Keep a journal.
  • Brainstorm fun activities for you and your pet. (Not just the usual hooha.) I want a larger dog (GSD, Husky), because I plan on backpacking in the future.
  • Realize dogs are always being born into the world. Even though it is technically illegal, there isn't much of a witchhunt. It is relativity easy to get an intact dog. Even professionals say mandatory spay/neuter laws are bad. There will always be intact dogs. If all (every single one) dogs were neutered, no new dogs would ever be born.
  • What else do you want to do with your life? Zoo related or not. I want to eventually write a non-fiction book about zoophilia.
  • Join the furry fandom. Despite disagreements between the groups, you can find several zoos in the fandom.
actuallynotazoophile ok, I lied 2 points on 2016-02-20 19:47:14

interesting suggestions, thanks.

I have thought about keeping a journal and then seeing if I could turn it into a little movie when I'm old and don't care. Without kids or a wife I figure I'll have enough money to make it happen. Would be interesting to look back on.

I already think about all the things I can do when I get a dog and that just makes me want one even more. I quite enjoy hiking and its the same kind of thing, I wish I had a dog with me when I do it. Maybe I need to try and do more things that I wouldnt be able to do if I had a pup...

Im already doing other stuff, still not letting me get over not having a dog.

i dont think I could hang around with furries. I dunno, my imagination sucks so I just cant see me fitting in very well. Do the conventions have many non-furries walking round or would I stick out a bit? do zoos make themselves quietly known or not?

arnset 2 points on 2016-02-22 04:22:55

The furries you see dressed up are mainly special events or something, in most cases people won't be always dressed up.

Its just a general social group essentially. You'll likely come across a lot of depressed people, but theres a few friendly and bouncy people to hang with. Eventually you'll find your own clique to hang with more on a regular basis.

Zoos dont tend to be open to everyone, but eventually you'll likely find a group who hang around together and are zoos. They will normally be cautious of letting new people in because of the nature of being a zoo, but once they realize you're into it as well and arent a loony sex craving nut job you'll likely be welcome to hang out with them and discuss topics further.

actuallynotazoophile ok, I lied 1 point on 2016-02-22 17:32:17

I see fair enough. I know next to nothing about IRL furries so it's all new to me. Are there furry group meetups or is it go along to a convention and wing it kind of thing.

zootrashcan doggy doodle dandy 1 point on 2016-02-23 01:48:29

Heh, I go to furry cons and most people are out of suit. Even the people who do fursuit don't suit up the whole time. It's kinda hard to talk to people, draw, or buy art with a suit on.

actuallynotazoophile ok, I lied 1 point on 2016-02-23 17:37:12

lol, good point. I guess I'll see whats about, might be worth a trip just to see what happens.

zetacola Loba 1 point on 2016-02-20 21:16:57

I'm in the same boat... Except I'm not even that close...

I think it's best to concentrate on other things. To me, imagining all the happy things that would happen if I had a dog tends to make matters even worse. If you're anything like me, you're better off not dreaming of the things to come.

actuallynotazoophile ok, I lied 2 points on 2016-02-20 21:57:31

well, when I say close I do mean it relatively. I'm still a few months away in reality. I have a job with a decent wage and it seems to be stable for the time being but I still need to either rent somewhere that lets me keep a pet or i'm thinking of just buying a place.

Its annoying, I'd love to give myself another couple years to see how life pans out but the thought of waiting another two years before getting a dog is pretty soul crushing.

I think you're right about concentrating on other things. I'll try to enjoy what I have got rather than what I haven't.

zetacola Loba 1 point on 2016-02-20 22:17:15

the thought of waiting another two years before getting a dog is pretty soul crushing.

Two years is optimistic for me :'(

actuallynotazoophile ok, I lied 1 point on 2016-02-20 22:42:25

:( why's that? school? career stuff?

Me and most if not all zoos know exactly how you feel. Its almost been two years of waiting already for me but now I've finally got settled in a job I can start planning the housing part of my 3 step plan which is as follows:

1) get career

2) get appropriate housing

3) get doggeh.

Its unfortuante that life always throws stuff your way that makes even the best plans redundant.

zetacola Loba 1 point on 2016-02-20 23:53:12

I'm stuck at step 1. I could get a good and stable job and move out anytime, but I just can't picture myself in a 9 to 5 office job living in some crappy apartment downtown. This kind of life is incompatible with who I am and what I want. I'm working towards going entirely freelance to spend the maximum time I can with my dog.

I too would have liked to wait before living on my own. To live with my parents until I'm 40 and move out only when I'm worth half a million haha... But I just can't do it. Life without a dog is no life at all for me.

I am so sick of waiting...

Nowix 2 points on 2016-02-20 23:09:09

I know how you feel, friend. I've gone a long time being in the same dark situation. Hang in there. If there is one certainty in life, then it is that time will inevitability pass. It's simply a matter of waiting.

And hey, who knows what can happen in the future. While I was focusing on other parts of my life, in just a matter of a week I suddenly got the opportunity to take a dog, as well as a place where I could live. Just at the moment I wasn't even looking for it. So my "it will still be years away" suddenly changed into "oh, hang on. I'll have a dog by tomorrow??"

Life's weird. Just keep fighting for it and focus on the next step (Job? Housing? Money?). Don't get thrown off your path by whatever life throws at you. It'll feel like a struggle but as long as you keep walking, even just at a very slow pace, you'll always be making progress.

actuallynotazoophile ok, I lied 2 points on 2016-02-21 11:48:56

Thanks man, solid post. You're right, its going to be one of those things where life will present me the solution and I just need to be ready to take advantage of it. For the time being I'm going to carry on saving as hard as I can and looking for a new place to live. wish me luck.

Nowix 2 points on 2016-02-21 16:25:36

You can do it :)

TheLordMyDog 1 point on 2016-02-21 04:45:39

Great question. Seriously. I am... Sick without dog

actuallynotazoophile ok, I lied 1 point on 2016-02-21 10:37:20

Thanks. And yeah, it sucks. All one can do is keep looking forward. It'll come some day.

Rannoch2002 Deer Zoo 3 points on 2016-02-21 15:45:13

I've been heartsick since the day Willow left me...

...So sick in fact, I doubt I'll ever be able to motivate myself to get another mate. So... that's depressing.

Sorry, this isn't much help I know. Just struck a chord with me. I hope you can work something out.

actuallynotazoophile ok, I lied 1 point on 2016-02-21 17:04:16

Thanks man, hopefully your situation improves as well.

Some people are going to scoff at this, but the more I'm a part of the zoo community the more I think we have the highest highs coupled with the lowest lows. The fact we can have these relationships with different species is pretty magical but then that comes with all the other crap like it being more difficult, expensive and obviously mother nature being so cruel as to only give these other species a fraction of the lives we have.

I dunno, I dont loathe being a zoo anymore, but the downsides of it blow pretty hard.

30-30 amator equae 2 points on 2016-02-21 18:24:45

You´ve just understood a little bit more what it really means to be a zoo. This orientation is truly "extreme" when it comes to dealing with the downsides involved. It´s true that you can have the purest feeling of love you´ll probably ever experience in your life, but always be aware that you´ll have to "pay your debt" at some point. The more you love, the more you´ll suffer. Zoophilia is no "fun", it´s serious business, providing challenges a normal person cannot even imagine.

30-30 amator equae 3 points on 2016-02-21 18:15:57

I know exactly what you´re talking about... I´ve been scrolling through several sites offering horses lately, but even thinking of buying one still feels like you´re cheating on your partner postmortem. It´s fucking hard to come to terms with the loss; even harder to "move on"

zetacola Loba 3 points on 2016-02-21 21:50:40

Give yourself some time...

Rannoch2002 Deer Zoo 2 points on 2016-02-21 22:37:53

People keep telling me this. It's been nearly 5 years in my case.

I've had other factors come and bite me in the ass though, if I'm being honest.

LykeWake Lizards 1 point on 2016-02-22 14:12:58

I have a plushie that manages to make me happy in spite of not having a real animal to snuggle with. If you don't already have one I would highly recommend it; all of the other zoos I convinced to get plushies agreed.

actuallynotazoophile ok, I lied 1 point on 2016-02-22 17:30:54

heh, never thought of this but I can see it being nice. Got any recommendations for any?

Also what do I say when people ask me about it :P

LykeWake Lizards 2 points on 2016-02-23 01:48:36

I couldn't give you any specific recommendations; you'll have to look around the internet yourself, e.g. on Amazon or more specialist stores you can find through Google. But I would advise highly valuing features that make for enjoyable cuddling, such as being of a large enough size and being of an easily embraceable form.

I've never had the issue of being questioned about it come up; once someone commented positively about it and asked for a name, but otherwise nothing. If someone asked me directly why I had one, I'd just say that it's nice having something to sleep with; you might be surprised how many people still sleep with stuffed animals for that reason alone.

Pigeondance Birdies yay 1 point on 2016-02-22 19:55:15

Not sure if this would be helpful, in fact probably not but it's what I do. I like to go on craigslist pets classifieds and other local pet re homing sites and look at dogs for adoption. Even though adopting a dog is a ways off for me, I kind of enjoy looking at pups that I "could" adopt. Also I pet people's dogs when they offer, or stop to pet dogs that are tied out front of coffe shops and such. It's a small way of getting some interaction with canids.

actuallynotazoophile ok, I lied 1 point on 2016-02-22 20:46:03

Yeah I had to stop looking at the animals available for me to adopt as it was killing me when I saw a cute pup that looked perfect but I had no way of adopting them. might work for some, but its not for me.

Petting all the dogs one can find is a must :P

HeartBeatOfTheBeast Hoof and Claw 2 points on 2016-02-22 23:56:01

I hope you find your perfect dog in the not to distant future.