I don't want these feelings. (self.zoophilia)
submitted 2016-03-04 02:08:48 by donutthrowaway1
Hey all. In my late teen years and now into my twenties, I've developed a sexual attraction to male horses/dogs. I want to rid myself of these feelings as I feel myself inching closer and closer to doing something really stupid like trespassing and getting myself shot or something. Is there any way to uh... get rid of these sexual attractions? It's kind of an internal struggle. One part of me thinks if I act on these feelings maybe just once that I'll 'get it out of my system', and the other part of me thinks it's the only thing I'll ever want if I act on these feelings. I feel that the best way to deal with these feelings would be to just bottle them up and never even entertain the thought. Advice?
Getting rid of the attraction is hard.
Believe me, I've tried. The best advice I can give you is to not even entertain thoughts along those lines. It's particularly hard if you don't have any other sexual outlet, so if you have any feelings towards humans, dwell on those. Specifically trying to avoid these sorts of thoughts usually doesn't work; you have to find something else to think about, something to replace your attractions with, anything else, really, that can occupy your thoughts.
I can't guarantee that the attraction will ever go away, though. You may just have to accept it, or, if that's objectionable to you, learn to control your impulses so you don't act on it. I know personally that, with enough practice, you can learn to control your response to the attraction, though that doesn't mean you stop feeling it.
I strongly recommend that you don't act on your feelings, though, since that has a very strong potential to reinforce your feelings and you'll end up even deeper than before. If, however, you come to the conclusion that this isn't going away and you want to embrace it, we'll be here for any questions you might have or support you might need so that you end up going about things safely and in the right way.
Thank you for your reply. I believe it's just a fetish of mine as opposed to a 'part of my sexuality' in a romantic sense. I don't think I could ever feel a romantic attraction to an animal.
What is it about animals that you find sexy?
It's a size and dominance thing, and a bit of a taboo thing.
Well, the good news is, if it is "just a fetish", then avoiding it will make it fade away. This is something I've tested: deliberately fetishising something I wasn't into to see how (if at all) it differed from my sexuality. I can't describe how, but fetishes don't feel the same as sexuality, and they do fade if not renewed.
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To offer valid and sound advice, please give us more info about you:
Those are but a few questions that come into my mind. In order to really offer help, we need a more precise image of your sexuality. It could easily be that you´re just experiencing a temporary phase of sexual exploration. It could also be that the "taboo" is what gives you the kicks. It also could be that your sexual interest in animals is solely because you have no other outlet for your sexuality ("substitute zoophilia"). There are more possible forms of diagnoses, but further data is needed for correct evaluation.
Until you provide us with this, I´ll hand out a general advice:
You shouldn´t worry too much about your fantasies as long as you don´t act. Always keep in mind that a life as an "animal fucker", as we zoophiles are called by society, isn´t a pleasurable one. You have to decide for yourself if a few minutes of "animal fun" on the next pasture within your reach is worth a life that´s definitely much harder than a more normal one. Always remember that this is no "fun", it´s something that will control your everyday life, it will affect your way of thinking, of acting, of perspective. Are you ready to pay the price that´s involved in this? Only you can make the decision. But once you made it, there´s no turning back, there´s no "try out".Once you done it, you always know what you´ve done "back then, when you were young and insanely horny". Additionally, some things are better when you keep it a fantasy for your entire life. I definitely can tell you that reality won´t be what you expect of it in your fantasies.
Homosexual. I watch animal porn every now and then, maybe two or three times a week. When I jerk it to it, I usually feel a bit ashamed, but I remain positive and try not to beat myself up over it too badly as its a habit I've been working on breaking for a while now.
My only sexual experience with a human took place last year, and I was unsuccessful in achieving an erection, which I attribute to inexperience and sexual anxiety. I can guarantee that I am sexually attracted to humans, I just get very nervous and I get too 'in my head' when it starts getting hot and heavy. As for what it is about animals, it's mostly a size and dominance thing, as like I said I tend to be interested in large dogs and horses, with a bit of the taboo element mixed in. I do tend to be a bit of a kinkster, and from a sexual standpoint, masochism is pretty fun, but I don't like cut myself or anything. And no, I don't have a developed sex life right now, it's a bit difficult to find some attractive gay men in the Midwest haha. Not trying to brag or anything, but I'd consider myself a catch for the most part. I've got standards lol.
Yeah, that's the biggest thing; I don't know how well I'd deal with it if I go out and try something. Thank you for your response, it's very helpful.
youve got to give yourself time to develop. I personally dont believe it matters if you watch the porn or not, if you were born as a zoo you'll grow into a zoo no matter what porn you whack off to. You cant learn or unlearn to be a zoo same as if you cant learn/unlearn being gay/straight/whatever.
I wouldnt dwell on it to much. Whatever happens will happen, you've just got to give yourself some time to figure out what you're feeling in regards to if this is a bonafide part of your sexuality or just a fetish. If you come to terms with the fact that this is a part of your sexuality then try not to feel too down about it as really theres nothing to feel down about. Yeah its a bit different living as a zoo but it doesn't mean your entire life is going to be a complete disaster, you're just gonna have different priorities to most other people. We're normal people as well remember :P
Thanks for the reply. As I said before, it's really not a 'new' thing, it's something that's developed from my late teens to now, my mid twenties--you think I need to wait and figure things out still?
ah yeah I glossed over that bit. Its hard to say from behind a screen, obviously only you know the real answer, we can only help you find it.
It could be you still need more time. Some people are lucky enough to know theyre a zoo at like 16 but it took me until I was about 23. Some people dont ever come to realise what feelings theyre feeling.
I still remember the night that forced me to reflect on my past experiences and made me realise I was, in actual fact, a zoo. I had managed to get a girl back to my place but the thought of having sex with her was honestly revolting to me. I sent her home, and with that I gave up any last shred of doubt that maybe I was still into humans. At some point you just have to call it as it is.
It lifted a huge weight off my mind, not having to lie to myself about it. I may be a zoo, but living as a zoo is a million times better than the life I was living were I was lying to myself every day.
Its really up to you if you want to call this a fetish or not, but if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck...
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Thank you for being honest and open to us. My advice for you would be to totally abandon animal porn.For me, it looks like you have developed a habit and this habit is what really makes you suffer. I wouldn´t take it so lightly as others have said, porn addiction is not an urban legend,it can be very real, with all that is involved. My guess is that you use this special kind of porn as a substitute for your unsatisfactory real life experience and the non existent sex life. I also sense a certain hue of masochism, being "overpowered" by the animal. It has to be "large" animals, as you put it...classical overcompensation. Wilhelm reich has stated that sexual energy will seek more extreme outlets when it is denied to use its natural outlet. I really think that fits your case most perfectly: if you had a satisfactory sex life, I bet you wouldn´t waste a single thought on animals.
I would strongly recommend quitting the animal porn. Instead of jerking off in front of a screen, go out and find yourselves a proper partner. What you do ATM is nothing more than choosing the easy and comfortable path. It apparently is easier to just sit and jerk off to extended stimuli offered by your screen than having the guts to find what you REALLY seem to want. Stop procrastinating...watching porn won´t make you happy. Stop the animal porn, you´ll "indoctrinate" your own inner self with it the more you watch. There actually is some kind of a "learning" effect that takes place when you constantly expose yourselves to the same sort of stimulus over and over again...a thing I call "learned bestiality". Since you already seem to have problems finding an appropriate partner, just imagine what problems you might run into when you continue to "learn"...many gays are extremely repulsed by animal sex. It really would be a shame if you find someone who fits you perfectly, but when you reveal your "special fancy", he´ll kick you outta his life immediately. Even if you don´t communicate your secret, it will always keep you from opening up to him entirely. That´s definitely not a good fundament for a real partnership, is it? I do believe that it is NOT difficult to find attractive gay men in your area, you just seek an excuse to protect yourself from another disappointing experience. So, get your ass from that couch, switch off your porn-o-rama, go out and search for what you really want. Next time the action is about to take place, just relax. Sexuality is best when done naturally, without any expectations, without any pressure. I´m sure that you quickly can abandon animal porn entirely and soon, this will just be a little embarassing episode you´ll laugh about in a few years. Why use crutches (porn) when you can walk free...?? Lifetime is imited, why waste it in front of a damn PC?
Oh wow – that’s something that wasn’t posed to me that way so far.
The only person who knows for sure how to be happy is you, so feel free to jettison all and everything you read here if necessary.
Nevertheless – in my opinion zoophilia is a genuine sexual orientation. To what degree nature vs nurture plays in to it don’t mind that. You are 20 and you are approaching the cut-off point where a lot of people either ‘stay’ “true” zoophiles, or find a girl and find that really entertaining and don’t do that ‘fetish’ thing any longer or that much. You might be looking at genuinely ‘being this way’ in 4 to 5 years at latest.
If that is the case fighting it won’t work. We know from other sexualities that you can bend yourself all way, you’ll never get rid of it. And worse: Suppressing and fighting with yourself will make you a very unhappy human. The subconscious has powerful ways to fuck you up in revenge if you cage it.
I’d try to determine If you are “that way” and to what degree. Is it only a fetish thing for you? If so you can get by with some zoo porn, what’s wrong with wanking a bit to that? Everyone knows there’s horseporn on the internet. If you are not interested in humans on the other hand you might have a harder case to solve, as your sexuality could be focused on animals all the way. Then not wanting it consciously while your heart does want to will suck major balls for many many years until you’ll give up and give in to your heart. You can’t win over your heart, trust me.
Depending on the degree you could channel it into having a little fetish. Could your girlfriend bark for you in the bedroom? A bit more you could be a furry. You like humanized animals having weird gay sex in drawings? A further degree we get into being a zoo, and – well – there’s lots of shades of grey there too. You can pet a dog all day and only pet him or her. Or you can go all in and have him mount you.
Whatever it is that you decide your degree is, I recommend to rather arrange yourself with it in a positive way for yourself, and not fight it. Just be happy the way you are. Maybe you never need to ‘do anything’ maybe you just like certain daydreams. And you know what? That’s ok. Absolutely-bloody-damn-well ok.
And if all of this was shit advice in your opinion: I recommend to look up coping strategies for minority sexualities, because if you fight yourself while society hates you too, then you’ll need those coping strategies.
And before you do something stupid on a whim – why not properly prepare and do it in an unstupid way?
Good luck, wide hearts, healthy hooves.
Hey, just letting you know, Reddit admins have shadowbanned your account. I had to manually approve your comment.
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