phew I am relieved about that.
We went out partying at a little shindig we'd been planning for a while. I'd thought about telling him before but the timing was never right and I lacked the braveness. I hadn't planned on telling him last night but for some reason the conversation we were having ended up to me confessing I'm not into girls or guys. From that he concluded I was asexual to which I agreed that was along the right lines but didnt tell the whole story. at this point I told him to stop me when he got what I was hinting at 'cause it was pretty hard to say. I then whispered to him "you know how I like dogs...". He got it straight away. I could tell he was pretty taken aback by this. The only question he had was whether we (humans and dogs) were 'compatible' to which I replied a little awkwardly "only if they're, err, big enough" which made him cringe a little. I also added that if he had any questions he could come and ask, and obviously seriously not to tell anyone, to which he agreed this is one of those things you really don't tell anyone. He also admitted he really did not see it coming at all and honestly thought I was going to come out as a homo. There were a few other bits and bobs but we basically left it at that and enjoyed the rest of the night.
so there we have it, I'm finally 'out' but only to one person so I dont know how out I really am. I'd love to dig deeper into his thoughts about me but he looked a little uncomfortable about it so I'll give him some time to process it. We shall see what happens.
Edit: after a bit of sleep I remember a bit more clearly what I said to him. Thought I told him outright but I remember I used a more of a subtle way of saying it.
Congrads! Glad it went well for you.
I hope it works out for you in the long run, secrets like that tend to leak to more and more people until the whole town knows and someone starts trying to get you in trouble
I'm never telling another living soul, some of my friends might suspect something but they never ask and there's no evidence of anything
you really have to be 100% sure you trust the person before you even think about telling them. This guy is the only person I know who I've even thought about confessing to and even then I've thought about whether to tell him or not for years leading up to the other night.
At the moment it seems I made the right call about him but it can always go the other way.
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I'm always more than a little apprehensive about coming out to people. Seems like a huge risk for very little gain. You may trust your friends with this secret now, but you never know what the future brings.
Anyways, I don't want to be a buzz kill. Congrats!
yeah like I say I wasn't really planning on telling him, but he kept pushing for me to come out. Its just that what I came out as wasn't what he was expecting lol.
True you never know what the future brings but whats done is done. Just have to see what happens and deal with the consequences.
Yeah... But the thing is that there is a big difference between coming out as gay and coming out as zoo. A few of my friends sometimes "push" me to come out because I've never been in a serious relationship with a girl, but I know they just think I'm a closet gay. Even confessing asexuality is seen as weird, but at least it reaches a dead end after a few awkward questions. But confessing to being attracted to dogs? I just see that as a way to ruin friendships and potentially your life.
This secret is a pretty big thing to you. Your life, your reputation and the lives of your partners hang on the balance. But for the people who you've come out to, it's not their lives that hang in the balance. Nothing is stopping them from being careless with the information or even using it against you. These people may turn in your worst enemies, you can never know...
Well, I hope it won't come to this obviously. It's a risky gamble, that's all.
I pretty much agree with all of this, but then I'm sober now and I wasn't at the time haha.
but honestly I think you're right. what I did was a bit stupid and the risk of it going a different way is always there. I wouldnt recommend other people do it if they can at all help it, even the most accepting people draw the line before zoophiles. The way the conversation went was nothing how I had imagined it would go. You never can tell.
I was very lucky.
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Wow, I'm glad it went so well, all things considered. Here's to hoping that he doesn't gossip!
Thanks! I would be very surprised if he did but then again I'm aware of the possibility of it happening and the repercussions that would have on my life. I'm hoping alongside you he doesn't do anything stupid.
I hope it works out in the long term, I've told very few people but those I have told its worked out really well.
thanks. congrats for having it work out so well for you. Unfortunately I wouldn't say it worked out really well for me, he didn't seem up to talking about it much, but its nice knowing he didn't disown me.
much the same. happy for you, but also worried just a little bit. hopefully your friend will keep it to himself. definitely a good idea to let him process it a bit, too. hopefully he will bring it up again at some point, but it might be best to wait for that instead of bringing it up again yourself.
thanks for your concern. I think youre right about letting him bring it up when he wants, if he ever does. I kinda get the feeling its going to be one of those things that we wont ever talk about again but really I'm going to have to wait and see what happens.
Gonna be interesting to see what he thinks when I get a dog though.
I worry a little bit too from the description. It sounds good but it also has a slight tinge of something that could backfire later. Sometimes the "digestion" of the thought doesn't go down well. I've seen it happen before.
Not to make you worry. I'm glad it overall went pretty good. Just play it safe and have a backup plan, as always.
ah good to see you chip in. I know what you're saying in regards to there being a slight tinge of something else, I could tell there were definitely some conflicting thoughts he was thinking. Its ok for the time being so we've just got to wait and see what the future brings. I'll keep you updated.
Do so. I nearly did the same thing with a buddy of mine in high school but didn't quite make it there... I kinda wish I had, we may have ended up closer. Or farther apart... I don't know. That's part of what bothers me.
Kudos to you for being brave.
Good for you. That is a huge and dangerous step. On the one hand, it would be really nice to know another human that you can talk to about it in person but that requires a huge amount of trust.
Gratz! That is pretty cool...
I wish I also had a person I could talk to IRL, who would accept me this way.