/r/bestiality got quarantiend (self.zoophilia)
submitted 2016-04-06 01:58:35 by Alohut
Not quite sure when it happened but the bestiality-subreddit has now been put under quarantine. On one hand, this isn't that surprising and I can't say I'm saddened by this turn of events but on the other hand, I don't believe restricting access like this was a good move.
It just means you have to have an email on your account or something.
I dislike quarantining, but considering they mainly swap porn, I'm not surprised and don't especially mind. If we're going to censor certain things for children, that is one of the most obvious targets.
As they say -- "nothing of value was lost".
The thing about quarantining is that it's proven to cause a noticeable subscriber drop.
Not entirely unexpected though considering they
bannedquarantined /r/sexwithdogs but missed /r/bestiality. Reddit's not the best place to find bestiality porn anyways, 8chan's better for that.EDIT: Typo'd, thanks for the correction.
Eh r/sexwithdogs is quarantined not banned (aka deleted).
Where do I find those things on 8chan?
[deleted]
It's on the front page. Come on.
Newsflash
After reddit quarantined its bestiality porn subreddit, the internet faces a severe shortage of interspecies jack off material. Vast numbers of individuals are forced now to beat down their raging hard ons with sledgehammers. 22 year old William Anker: " Hell, maaan, Y They do this to me? I can´t even put my jeans on anymore, the last time I tried, I nearly castrated myself with the zipper." Another individual named Marcus A. Sturbator said he is feeling helpless and abandoned right now: "Damn, how am I supposed to find my daily dose of weird porn on the internet now? These heartless bastards! You know, only 50 % of all websites contain jack off material...just imagine how hard it is to find me another source of flics degrading women and humonguous animal boners. Do I have to confess I´m a misogynic asshole and secretly gay as a tree full of parrots to get my animal porn back?"
Scenes of desperation unfold, the cities are swarmed with young men unable to find relief. Emegency rooms overflow with patients suffering from penile injuries resulting from mindlessly slamming shut doors without keeping a healthy distance. The stains from spontaneous ejaculations splatter the streets, causing an 500% rise of broken legs as people slip and fall on the jizzed walking ways.
All of that is happening right now only because reddit decided to protect their underage users from "totally harmless" animal pornography. It is saddening that reddit as the "only source for interspecies erotica" preferred to put the wellbeing of their juvenile users before the interests of a very tiny group of disturbing porn afficionados. The only ones who do not see any problems with quarantining the animal porn sub are the ones calling themselves "zoophiles"...they insist on the fact that animal pornography usually is made for the normal folks that need an extra kick. "Zoophiles"...bah, as if there is any difference between animal fuckers only in it for the taboo and self proclaimed zoophiles that evaluate animal porn as "exploiting the animals and our sexual orientation to entertain the army of pervos out there".
The situation remains unsettled. As there practically are no other sources for animal exploitation porn on the internet right now, animal porn fanatics keep roaming the streets with pulsating erections. Reddit dares to demand a verified email address to access the quarantined subreddit, so our sad self pleasurers fear they actually have to unveil their identity. We all know that IP addresses aren´t traceable and PRISM is a hoax made up from Snowden, so handing out an email addy would destroy "internet anonymity".
A sad world we´re living in...those poor fellows unable to empty their balls now... But another statement from Professor Dick Head, sex psychologist from the university of Wankonia, shows another issue: "Just imagine all these young, desperate men cut off from their favorite pervo porn. Their balls will continue producing semen. In the near future, we could be facing a new phenomenon I´d like to call "testicular jihadism". Their scrotum will fill up more and more until the internal pressure can´t be contained anymore. We soon will hear from young men whose balls will explode...maybe at home, but more likely right in the middle aof a large crowd, a shopping mall, hell, maybe even at funerals."
A horrific picture unfolds. Cities will be terrorized by "suicide cummers". All of that only because the vile site of reddit made animal porn practically unavailable. Meanwhile, an underground organisation has formed, demanding free access to animal pornography. Their leader, Cum Un Til Ded said that they won´t stop suicide cumming until their demands are met.
This may be the best hyperbolic parody I've ever read. I came from reading it.
See, now you're just part of the problem!
Sigh, have an up vote xD
Reading this was a disgusting experience but I get your point.
while i disagree with the message a bit, i couldnt help but laugh. take one of these up arrow thingies