So, here it goes, I haven't been able to tell it much complete anywhere, and I need to get it of my chest. bare with me, i'm trying to write everything down coherrently and organised
Simply put, I don't know what to do with myself.
I am not art all sexually attracted to humans in any sight, be it male or female or in between. (zoo, but I'll get to that) Social interaction is not a problem for me, until it is getting into a serious relation. So far trust issues is what I have found out to be one of the underlying problems. I just dont want that kind of thing, I cant seem to be able to -feel- things for my friends, not further than a good strong friendship.
I have ruined good friendships over the years because of me trying, or not at all willing to try a serious relation (whatever I choose, when to that point, it breaks) To this point I wonder if I am even relationship material (yay for self image) Jobwise I work with animals, following my childhood dream to work with animals (cant share details, want to keep me job, even tho the field I am in isn't affected by my feelings)
I've always been the oddball in the litter, as my mind was: "animals animals animals" (family works in human and legal fields) the rest of my family all are:"society" Taking care of intergrating people into our society who fled warscenes, to offering their spare time taking disabled people somewhere, my family loves doing this. This never interested me at all, yes, I love going to ethnic parties, wonderful food, but thats all
My family, aside them being caring towards humans, are like game of thrones when it comes to internal family business. So, fights happen a lot, including side switching and betrayal and breaking of promises. (guess where my trust issues come from)
But, I went animal care, dog behaviour therapy and some more stuff, and I was good at it, loved it. Since my family didnt care about animals and did not own a pet, exept once a dog, I borrowed a dog from a teacher so i can still follow on with classes.
I loved being with her, and yes, looking back, I loved that silly derp more than I would be willing to admit (which thoughts I pushed away) Life went on and about, relations came and went, nothing about it. Till I got sick and failed classes, I was devistated I failed school (even though it was out of my controll) Depression and burnout followed. So, into healthcare I went to treat this (obviously family knew where and how, I'm sick, I need best help there is)
During which time, I discovered a lot about myself
For a couple of years now, I know I am zoo, but I dont want it, I have controll over it, I am the master over my own body and mind Boy was I wrong, and boy do I feel shit about myself
One of the housings I got to, they had a big dog, a lovely girl, who is at first very reserved, but when she gets to know you, all fine. When you feel shit, she'd be there, and you could just relax and feel shit with a 100 pound puddle of love on your lap. I loved being around her, and spent my sparetime with her, when I wasnt online.
I ended up taking full care of the dog, so that the personal supervisors who'd help you about wouldnt have to take care of the dog. So, obviously we grew closer and closer, till the point she wanted to sleep in my room during the night, instead in the hall. Against policies, but mrs became more and more verbal about wanting to sleep in my room (loved the new paintjob btw), so for the sake of nightrest for everyone there, they'd allow it.
At that time I already struggled with feelings for her, walking her would be shamefull because mr-down-below would be organising parades of his own.
So, from one step to another, it leads to places. It started with her being in heat, she got a lot more demanding for attention, and well, woke me up a few times at night, showing off her rear, and one time licking at my crotch I pushed her off and continued trying to sleep, after taking care of junior. But, well, the licks it was satisfying, and quite frankly it felt good, something i never felt with humans (during heat she wore those pants so she wouldnt bleed up my room like the first night of her heat)
About 2 weeks later, when she started licking me the second time, laying against me, pressing herself against me, I somehow decided to return the favor and I rubbed her down below, and she loved it, pleasure grunting, her down area was moist from licking herself at that point. So here I was 4am pleasuring a dog, and I know she loved it, but I felt guilty, about not being able to controll myself. I spent another 3 months on that adress, where we had a few other close nights (thank god no one found out)
So now I have been a year without a dog, psychiatrist noticed me slowly getting shittier at my emotional wellbeing, I'm in the run for a helper dog, but I am afraid. I dont want this, mentally. It might be my raising, societies look on zoo, my religion or whatever. I fear myself, and I am afraid to death i'd hurt my -to be- helper dog, because I might loose myself, and do something harmfull by accident. And besides, the one time I lost a dog, it took me at least 3 months to recover, and I can only imagine how it'd be if I'd have to lose a mate
I cant look myself in the eye, and sincerely wish myself the most horrid things. and yes I know dogs can choose a partner. It just frustrates me that I cant have a say in my own sexuality, I lack any feelings of relation-wishes towards humans, not more than friendships. and lately I have been doubting my own sanity, even tho, officially I am ready to live a normal life (read, no personal supervisor around you when you get home after work and looking for a house)
I have licked in return, fingered and rubbed, which she all loved, and she licking back, honestly, better than that blowjob I once tried (never actually sticked my dick in vagina or ass, not inclined to do so)
It worries me that my feelings are 100% towards canids, in strong favor of females, and like nothing towards humans. So, yeh, that was sheppy sharing his feelings
I hope It made somewhat sense, feedback be welcome
[tl/dr]
OP had smexytimes with dog, feels guilty, doesnt know what to do with himself, wants to rid his feelings
Sex is primal, for you and her and it transcends society since almost all species do it. It's also evolved into a bonding experience . Relax and just enjoy it , the worries will go away. I have 2 girls here, lots of late night cuddles and intimate times. I still love humans also, it's all good in my head
well, since my interest seems to be 100% canid, I kind of doubt the proper working of my brain. Might be the trust issues influencing this, not sure
You have two options that I can see.
1.) Make peace with your feelings. This is almost always easier said than done.
2.) See a psychiatrist for help ridding yourself of your desires (this is also always easier said than done).
Basically, you have two hard roads ahead of you, pick the one that you think will cause you the least pain in your life. Good luck.
This is a thing I have been pondering a lot, and I guess that's why I hopped on here to hear, to perhaps find out how others dealt with these options.
I saw a therapist for a bit for help with this. Most of the advice I got was ways to ignore or divert my mental attention away from sexual thoughts about dogs. In that respect, I can tell you that, with enough willpower, progress is possible. You can stop dwelling on the thoughts as much, and you can stop yourself from acting on your feelings. However, what hasn't changed is that whenever I do feel sexual attraction, it's towards a dog. It didn't change the fact that beautiful dogs will catch my eye, and I still get the feelings. I've eventually reached the point where I've accepted that I can't directly control my emotions or my knee-jerk reactions, but I can choose what I do with those after they happen.
I would be curious what kind of distraction tips he gave. It would be awesome to be able to control myself when it comes to deeds. Last time I've found out that I'm not that much in control.
He focused a lot on having something very specific to think about or do when you're having the thoughts. For example, have a particular song lyric (one not related to dogs, sex, etc.) you'll start mentally singing. As for doing anything physical, there's a lot to be said for avoiding compromising positions from a long way off. Letting a dog share a bed with you at night, as attractive a notion as that is for me, is probably a bad idea if you aren't planning on doing anything with the dog. The stronger your emotions currently are, the farther back you'll have to step. It may be that any physical contact with a dog will trigger you, or you might be able to cuddle and kiss and walk away without doing anything else.
Not having a dog in my bedroom sounds like a good idea, when looking at a dog i do class them to how I am attracted to them. which does sound like how people rate others who they're interested in.
I start getting a problem when a dog starts offering / showing interest.
I've talked to two therapists about my sexuality. The first one was specifically so I could cope with Denmark banning bestiality, the second was a couples counsellor/sex therapist, because I'm about 90% of the way to zoo-exclusive.
Neither were judgemental. They asked me if I would even want to change; my answer was and remains "no" because my sexuality is one of the main reasons that I, personally, have for being pro animal rights. (Not to claim it's the only reason anyone could be, but it feels like the main reason I am).
hmm, if I would get to that point by telling my therapist, I am expecting this to be honest. How did you get to the point to sharing this with them?
The first was organised for me by my partner, who went to the trouble of looking for zoo-comfortable counselor. The second was part of a large organisation of counselors that had an online chat system, so I connected to a free WiFi network and asked them through it if it was safe to talk about it.
that sounds interesting :3 Online and anonymous takes away some walls :P
but having someone next to you seems a good idea
Many details of your story seem to be quite common among the ones interested in sexual contact with animals, but there´s one thing that sets off the alarm in me. You wrote that you´re afraid to "lose it and hurt your dog". What exactly is it you tried to hint at? Are you afraid to cause physical harm to an animal? If yes, how should this happen when you´re not interested in actual penetration? Are you afraid that you´ll lose control and get violent on the animal? Since there seems to be a lot of auto-aggression in you as your text implies in some places, what exactly is it you fear?
The short lifespan of certain species is indeed one thing every zoo has to come to terms with. Unless you´re dating a Galapagos turtle, you probably will experience the loss of your quadruped partner at least twice in life. If you don´t feel the strength to deal with this, then zoophilia may not be the right thing for you as experiences of this kind are unavoidable.
Based on the structure and content of your text I´d recommend the second option /u/rannoch2002 has given: you have to solve your psychological issues first before thinking about your sexuality. Since you´re already in therapy, I heavily doubt that encouraging you to "come to terms with being a zoo" will improve your overall situation as your sexuality doesn´t seem to be your major problem here. You already have expressed your fear of hurting the animal due to losing control and I really believe that a healthy and stable condition of the mind/psyche is an absolute requirement to be capable of providing proper care for an animal.
For most people, changing their orientation is not something which is particularly possible, and is likely to cause more psychological distress for no benefit. I really don't think /u/Rannoch2002's second option is particularly good, personally.
My advice would be to attempt the first option.
Also I think you are reading way more into his post than is there. Nowhere did he hint he had any sort of anger or violence issues that I can see.
I agree. If you told the LGBT crowd to just go to therapy to change their sexuality you would have a very large, very angry mob after you.
That's only because of their own outlook on themselves.
I would have no probablem issuing the same advice to a LGBT person who felt what he/she was doing was completely against their belief system. It's a hard thing, being something you hate. I've never had to feel that personally, but if you're stuck in that boat, fact is those are your options. Not much more to say.
It's not only because of their own outlook, but because research into the topic has found that orientation-changing therapy is ineffective. Furthermore, such attempts at changing one's orientation are often harmful, often leading to lowered self esteem, depression, suicidal thoughts and even in some cases attempts.
According to one study (Changing sexual orientation: A consumers' report. Shidlo and Schroeder, 2002) such attempts to change one's orientation were unsuccessful over 96% of the time.
Look. Maybe you were helped by such therapy. Maybe you're happy with that, and if so, I wish you all the best. But you are not typical. Whether or not it helped you, that advice is not likely to help others. For every one person you help, statistically you're likely to hurt nineteen others.
What you are doing is irresponsible. I implore you to stop generalizing from your personal experiences and actually look into the research yourself. It shouldn't be hard - a ton of medical, psychological, and therapeutic organizations have come out against reorientation therapies. You can start just about anywhere.
I was most certainly NOT helped by such therapy, but then again, it was forced upon me and I did not want to change. To be honest, I'm pretty sure such "therapy" has actually sealed my fate. I expect to be dead in the next 10 years. I have lost every love I have known and I will never see them again. I am deeply depressed now, agoraphobic, and generally a mess. I would not call that a positive outcome.
The difference I see from this and any example you can provide is that maybe in this very select case, the individual in question does want to change. That is almost never the case in any of the studies you can quote, I assure you, thus the high failure rate. I was such a case of not wanting change, so I know what you talk about... most psyhciatrists will tell you that if you don't want to change, you won't. It isn't rocket science, that little concept.
I don't live in statistics, and zoophilia itself generally does not either, being understudied. It is way different than orientations which society generally supports. It's a different animal and I can't accept studies done on attempts to "correct" LGBT people as remotely comparable.
And even after that, I will admit it's unlikely that he will ever rid himself of this. What a psychiatrist may do (and primarily why I recommended it) is allow him to find a way to LIVE with it without acting on it. That is far more likely to succeed if this truly bothers him than complete reorientation therapy, which I never advised.
I should have perhaps have explained my fears with some more detail, even though its hard to put into words. Indeed I don't problem with anger issues. The times I do get angry, there is a reason for it.
I think I knew about me being zoo for at least 5 years, tho for at least 3 years I shrugged it off, hoping it would go away. I know the journey is going to be tough, and I have no idea where to even start (for both options really)
I don't reccomend the second option lightly. Afterall, forced-therapy nearly ruined my life if you guys don't recall. Heck, maybe it has ruined it, I'm only getting worse each day since I've had it...
...To not turn this into a sadface post though, I do think if one's sexuality is particularly incompatible with their outlook, they should talk about it with a doctor. In some cases, these feelings can be controlled, if not completely eliminated. And being in control of oneself is always good.
The fact I even touch on this subject despite what was done to me should tell you I don't say this without A LOT of thought on it.
My fear is that I unknowingly or accidentally harm them, and anger issues aren't part of the deal.
If I get angry, it is towards people, because its the most effective to keep them at distance when they don't take hints and kind questions to leave me about. Although that's more of a choice I make; make big and intimidate. Very effective.
Aside of accidentally harming a dog (from what I've read most zoos are like me, they care a lot about their other half and prevent harm to them with all their capabilities.) A lot of fears are towards myself, might be that I worry about what would be, fear of the unknown. Since depression, I doubted my sanity a lot, and this whole feelings isn't really helping (I am aware that it's pretty common for inter species relations, but still I think I'm a "weird sod" for it) >.>
And yes, if I had the option to just erase my feelings, quite frankly I would, so far ignoring them/pushing away ended in frustration.
I have been pondering lots of times if i should mention it to my psychiatrist, but honestly, I just don't dare telling.
And I am aware of the amount of care it takes to take care of an animal, given what I deal with on work, but taking care of -any- animal is well worth it all my spare time.
And well, penetration, well, so far I haven't been there.
If you´re not interested in actual penetration, there´s practically no way you could inflict harm. Just clip your nails to prevent injuries from scratches. And don´t forget hygiene...for you and your quadruped companion. When the breed is big enough, you could even penetrate her without much danger of injury...that is, unless you´re really freaking out while inserted....;)
If you reassure yourself that your therapist/psychologist is not forced to hand out info about you to the authorities, I don´t see any major problem in telling it like it is. People working in this branch of healthcare probably hear lots of stories about far out sexual actions/interests...maybe it´s not common for them to hear about zoophilia, but there are tons of even weirder things the pros have heard for sure. Maybe telling the truth would break the ice since this demands some form of trust from you. You´ll have to start somewhere to solve your trust issues; why not there?
At this point, I wouldn't know what to chose. I guess I have to accept that these feelings are there permanent, even if I would try a back flip and sprinkle myself with fairy dust to make it go away. Because right now, both my options have equally mixed feelings.
-Just accept that my love for animals covers the sexual spectrum of it too, (and keep it quiet) or -Have professional help dealing with something I'd rather not have (and have to deal with possible fallout, and telling someone about this whole ordeal -of whom I don't know his response to begin with-)
I know I should probably bring it up with the psychiatrist, but, the threshold is so high. Even though the therapist I have now is one I can connect to and seems to be understanding of the issues I am in treatment for (he has experience in some, which might helped connecting)
But this subject is on such other plain, and quite honestly, I'm not that ballsy.
Wait, wait wait. If I'm reading this correctly you dislike that you have no control over your feelings? Is this correct?
The other issues were answered quite well by 30_30 but he seemed to glaze over this. To me it sounds like you're having more of an existential crisis.
It worries you that you aren't like the "normal" people, and you're bothered by the things that you lack control over. Is this correct? If so, this isn't something that therapy alone will fix, it sounds like you need to think more about who and what YOU are as a person.
Honestly there no real way of "Fixing" desires. Also judging by your reply to arenset's comment it seems you're also doubting that you're "normal". I know you didn't come here to be told its not easy to "fix", but thats simply the reality.
The best we can provide is kind words and support. That works for some people incredibly well, it might be best to talk about these issues.
Yup, I am not happy with the fact that my brain decided to be like: "Ok, this is going to be something you like, even tho its not your choice" (I would describe it as instinct? its hard wired I guess?) It kind of intrigues me , like subconscious; how you even work
Indeed I am worried, like, this feeling its not accepted (even hated) And because of this, generally you're not able to discuss these feelings, like cough "normal" people (I guess the better word for this would be "average") And I do think that I'm not proper up in the attic (I am aware that each human has "traits") Like I have some mental disease even tho there is no suggestion for this.
What made me come here is that I decided to suck it, it can't hurt to find people with similar experience to at least share some experience and have a talk about my feelings
And fixing it, I would love to, yep, but like /u/rannoch2002 mentioned, going to tell your psychiatrist whats up, (i've been thinking of this option, but it is a very huge barrier) isn't in the slightest going to be easy (when I'm there, I don't dare telling, even with the confidentiality being there). I am afraid for what -might- happen, like I don't want to end up somewhere that could very likely have repercussions for the rest if my life.
I'm kind of being frustrated with the attitude "oh we're open, we accept who you are" well >.> i'm not proud of myself "oh, you're fine" well I am attracted to dogs "flips shit"
This seems to be happening quite generally, and having people telling around and pointing fingers, with all consequences following is a bit of nightmare fuel
And I guess existential crisis would be an appropriate term for what I'm having
not gonna lie, that paragraph is probably the hottest thing I've read in a long time. whew...
right, back to the topic at hand. Hopefully you feel better telling us all that, thats the first step to feeling better about yourself I think. It's hard coming to terms with being a zoo but I can say that personally when I could call myself a zoo it seemed like a haze lifted from my life. Everything seemed easier and life seemed brighter. Hating yourself and trying to change yourself is hard work and I couldn't make it work even after years of trying. Never saw anyone about it though so I dunno if that makes it any easier. I would really recommend trying to call yourself a zoophile. Remember that this is only really a tiny part of you. I'm sure you're an all round great person as well.
If you want to try and change yourself, I cant give much advice seeing as I failed at it lol.
Time does a lot of good. It took me a lot of thinking about my zoo side before I became content with it. After a long time of thinking you might come to realise it was just a phase, but I dont think you can push it either way.
I'm jealous you realised you liked animals so early in your life. I grew up with my family hating dogs and just seeing them as a piece of worthless meat so I guess that made it even harder for me to realise I actually like dogs as much as I do. That led to me not pursuing anything to do with animals and for me to uproot what I've got and start a-fresh down that route is too much for me at the moment. Maybe in the future.
I'm surprised this post hasn't got more feedback tbh.
(I kind of had a boner thinking back at the ordeal, tho, uncomfortable >.>)
It required a good beer to set me down, and pulling myself to the subject, I believe it took me about four hours to write this down and over thinking it (along with staring into the abyss) And honestly, I am glad I did, it somewhat soothes putting your feelings down.
Of course there is more about me, but unlike zoophilia, I am somewhat fine with who I am, so those things don't bother at all, as where these feelings do. And perhaps you might have failed, I would be curious of your story, as it might help me anyways.
I really hope it's a phase to be honest, it would at least stop my family assuming I'm gay, or whine when I take a girl at home. (if I was gay, I've would have told them straight away) At least, coming to think of it, I have learned stuff, about myself and the community already.
I am not sure why I liked animals from childhood, we didn't really have pets, except a stray cat in the garden (I am a buffoon when around house cats, I'm pretty clueless on how to deal with them) My parents however did teach me that each animal is equal (exept musquitos and wasps, ironic)
Tho, wondering, how did you find out you had interest in them? I mean if they consider animals "trash" and raised you that way, it'd must been odd on its own way?
yeah I remember the first time I wrote to other people about being a zoo. I was still fairly heavily in denial when I did. I'm still using the same account so you can go and have a look through my post history if you want to see how I've changed over the years. Looking back, once i made this account I feel I was on the home straight to accepting myself, so it worked out in the end.
haha yeah, I'm sure my parents think the same thing. I've never bought a girl back to their house, or even talked about girls with them (tell a lie, I did once with my dad last summer while we were waiting for the BBQ to warm up). I hope the fact I've never bought up having a relationship with a dude makes them realise I'm not into guys either. Just have to wait and see what they say when I bring a bitch round theirs, lol!
So like I said, parents really aren't animal people but my grandparents had german sheps since before I could walk. I basically grew up with those guys and I was thinking last night, I miss them so much. Didn't realise what I had until I didn't have them any more :( . I do wonder if that experience growing up contributed to my zooness. I think it did to a certain extent, they were such great dogs and were better beings than the asshats I had to go to school with. My grandparents had a huge overgrown field/garden thing and I would go adventuring with the dogs during the day and in the evenings I remember just chilling with them on the floor petting them. Yeah, I loved those guys.
Damn, gonna leave this here for the time being, I'll write the rest later on tonight.
hmm, I feel that hanging around here is already helping me with coming to terms. It helps talking with people, getting some feedback definitely helps. Tho, I do prefer my family having the idea I'm gay, over them getting the idea that i'm zoo. (pretty sure people don't expect you to) Tho my parents know for sure I'm not going to end up with anyone for that matter. But the whole family obviously need to chip in on their opinion, and since I never talk of girls, I must be gay XD
lol, yeah, dat family logic. I guess they're trying as hard as they can to figure you out so they can support you. Like you say, I really dont think they'll realise I'll be in a relationship with dog. I flat out told my buddy I loved dogs but he was still completely blindsided when I told him I was a zoo.
Going back to the previous bit I was writing, I'm finding it a bit tough to organise my thoughts but hopefully you get something out of this. It was definitely a bit odd when I realised I didnt have to have the same views as my parents, and that I actually did like dogs. To go from having a great weekend kicking round with those guys to my parents giving them the cold shoulder threw me off quite a bit now I think about it.
I was about 16/17 that I started seeing dogs that way. It was basically at this point I guess I switched from being a zoophile to a zoosexual, although I didnt realise it yet as I didnt realise it was a thing one could be. While everyone else was throwing themselves at girls I always lusted after animals. I honestly thought my friends were joking about how hot they found girls. I kinda played along so I wouldn't feel too left out but I really couldn't understand my friends. I never had a GF all the way through high school, but I thought that was because I was waiting for someone who I would actually be attracted to (lol).
Left for University, got my ass in gear and tried banging a couple girls, both experiences were just a serious effort. I would rather have just done something else both times. They really sucked.
Skip forward to after University and I left to live in Canada for a bit and I still remember the exact moment where I realised that I may actually be a zoophile. Bought a girl back to my place, she was really into me, I had to send her home because I literally didn't find her attractive at all. I just had a "wtf am I even doing with you" kind of moment. Got up the next day, went for a bike ride, laughed at the hilariousness of the situation and said to myself "I am a zoophile". The rest is history.
Looking back on stuff that happened throughout my life that at the time I didnt really have an answer for, now I know I'm a zoo it makes so much more sense to me. If I had known I was a zoo ten years ago life would've been a ton easier for me.
So thats pretty much it, tons of stuff left out obviously but thats a few of the main things that stick out to me thinking back. I'm pretty content with where I am at the moment though. The past is gone so all I can do now is try and set myself up for the best future I can, dog included. We'll see what happens.
You got any thoughts about your future yet?
So far I have been thinking of getting my own place in the middle of nowhere, alone. With animals obviously. Kind of need that, and already I'm able to navigate the city with horse cart (I'm that asshole) and the next step I'm working on is horseback riding (I guess I am doing it right, tho, taking a lot of risks as a beginner) Obviously a little pack of dogs but not sure still if its going to be sexual (kinda not want to, but also want..mixed feels ftw) And just remote, out of society as much as I want, of course, going into society when I feel like it.
I've never really enjoyed people around me that I couldn't pick (neighbours, ect) even tho, with most neighbors I'm on the cool side. I guess even tho I'm socially fine, I don't really want it.
Sadly that possibility is getting almost impossible with these "security issues" The more self sufficient I'd be, the better I think life would be (not sure if it's wise tho) But that's my dream XD and, as of now, I am far from that :P
I had a bunch of girlfriends, but not much further than kissing (which I honestly think is disgusting) As for dogs, haha, already more experienced, how ironic For some reason I am fine with kissing them >.>
All my friends pretty much know that I'm not enjoying sexuality (they particularly enjoy fucking with it) Fun is, they do know I enjoy watching dogs. They think I'm mainly interested in the breeds, which is -partially- true (not going to tell, even tho I think one of my friends has some zoo in him) (Used to be dog trainer :> (and I don't have any zoo problems with that))
Good thing tho, yesterday I was able to weep in the showers, which after not being able for 5 years at least does a blessing (I hate runny nose tho) I know there's much ahead for me, but I think its about time I just let it about, so I can man the hell up, and take myself for who I am.
yeah man, it's definitely a bit of a shock when you realise this is actually who you are but I can tell you right now there is no reason to be sad. Your life will be happier when you live true to yourself, whatever that may be. You know what is sad? There are people currently out there right this moment who have lived their whole lives as a zoo and not even realised. They've lived so many years lusting after animals but thought of themselves as freaks and thought they were completely alone in the world. Some of them probably have a wife and kids as that was what was expected of them and they had no way of knowing there was a different way of doing things. They may have lived the life of an average human but I am fairly sure of myself when I say that they have had a miserable time.
reaching out to others when talking about zoo stuff is so powerful in keeping you sane in a world where everyone else gives you kneejerk reactions simply because they dont understand what it's actually like to be a zoo. It's tough now but I fully believe you will look back at some point in the future and remember this outreach as one of the first steps to being completely happy with yourself.
I've said a few times in the past about how I think the 5 stages of acceptance can be applied to realising you're a zoo.
I followed each stage as I came to terms with being a zoo, maybe you can see some similarities in them yourself?
well, i guess it all got messed up back in the days when I got depressed. Tho, I feel shit about it a lot.
Even though most of my love comes out as affection not sexually, yes, I do think I need to say that it's a small part of it. But that small part doesnt feel so small. Honestly, I would love having my own puppies, but unless I start doing some genetic experiments. (which is something I dont agree with) But it is impossible, and it sucks (I have absolutely 0 interest in humans at this point)
Living in a lie sucks, keeping up with it doesnt sound pleasant. Yes, being there for fellow people is important, especially people look down on you like you're a monster, for having feelings that they cant comprehend.
Also, quite angry at myself, when I grab my toon folder of dogs (furries porn ftw) which depict cartoon versions, but are 100% dog, because any human trait in it is ughh, no.
I would want a happy me, and honestly, I can't imagine it. I dont even know what I would do with the knowledge of me knowing i'm a zoo
There is however one thing that makes me proud, I care for dogs a lot more, and have found people who have a love for animals like me. Only giving sexuality a place, not sure how
I would highly recommend seeing a doctor or counselor. You can if nothing else, learn you control these desires. No, they won't go away but management may be possible and I think at least being in control of them is a good thing, whatever road you choose.
Another tidbit of advice: Psychiatrists provide a service. If one makes you feel uncomfortable, find another. You don't need to talk to them again.
Good luck.
"...I switched from being a zoophile to a zoosexual..."...dude, you really need to look up what the terms you use really mean. Zoophilia already includes sexual acts, but is not limited to this. "Zoosexuality" means nothing more than "gets off from contact with animals"and is a term that puts you basically into the same group as people suffering from "mixoscopia bestialis" ( getting off from watching other people mate with animals, mainly as an expression of degradation, as frotteurs , as folks using animals as live sex toys and "zoo"sadists.
"Zoosexuality" = a term made up by those who didn´t fit into the "elite" zoo category. They came up with the fake term to be able to call themselves "zoo" although they weren´t able tho meet even the basic criteria of a zoophile. Because the term "beasty" seemed to sound so nasty to them and feeling expelled by the "elitist" zoos, they made up another term that was somehow similar so they can fool themselves into being a "zoo"....for "zoosexual". "Zoosexuality" is a term that´s basically as hollow as "homosexuality"; breaking down the terms to their semantic ingredients only reveals the object of desire (" to zoon" = animal, "homoios" = equal, similar) and that sex is involved. It says nothing about the emotional involvment; you can ,for example, be a homosexual even if you totally hate your own sex..the only thing that you need to qualify for this term is having sex with your own gender. Even Jefferey Dahmer was a "homosexual" by definition...
I cannot imagine how you turn from a zoophile into a "zoosexual" anyways...but you surely won´t turn from the former into the latter by having sex with an animal...it´s as silly as insisting that you turned from a gay into a homosexual after you had your first same sex experience. BTW, my example is a bit flawed as gay and homosexual usually are seen as synonyms....zoophilia and "zoosexuality" are far from being practically the same thing. Playing guitar for the first time in your life won´t turn you from a guitarist into a musician, y´know what I mean? You´re not a guitarist when you haven´t played this instrument yet,btw. ;)
To be honest 30-30, I have never seen zoosexual defined anywhere but in our own lore, which makes your definition of it... iify at best.
I also have seen the term primarily used as a way to avoid association with other "philias" and more by "elite" zoos than not, tbh.
Miletski has defined it in her work, Beetz has defined it in her work, even ZETA has a definition of "zoosexuality" on their homepage, all agreeeing with my definition. And if you put some effort in researching, you´ll very quickly find that this term has brought up around the year 2000 first; mainly as a reaction of all the others that have felt the burn of being counted out of the group of us "elitist" zoophiles. It was brought up to mask the bestial nature of animal porn fiends, voyeurs and others that won´t fit in the correct definition of zoophilia. The z-word seems to fascinate those the most who will never meet the criteria needed to be "in the elitist club"....
Fair enough. I was unaware it had prior been so defined. I thought we were basically arguing about what an otherwise unrecognized word meant, which would be silly. I recant.
Wow. For somebody preaching about how human language is flawed, you sure like to pigeonhole everything.
Attraction or experience define zoophilia, depending on how you interpret the term, but not both at the same time. On one hand, you could define zoophilia as sexual fixation - or attraction - on animals, therefore anyone who is sexually fixated on animals is a zoophile. This is the mainstream definition of the concept as far as I'm concerned, emotional part notwithstanding. On the other hand, you could define zoophilia as an "act", and only people who commit sexual contact with animals are given the "state" of zoophile. The term bestiality, however, seems to be more adequate to describe such behavior, as sexual contact with animals is often not driven by a sexual attraction to animals.
Homosexuality is sexual or romantic attraction to the members of one's sex. It often involves sexual behavior but is by no means limited by it. Most of all, it is an identity. On those terms, it also makes sense to think as zoosexuality as an identity, regardless of "hands on" experience, regardless of emotional involvement, regardless of the exclusivity, or lack of thereof, of the attraction to animals. Miletski is the one who coined zoosexual. The word by itself has very little value, but it is an identity that people use to refer to themselves. Like Rannoch said, it's about dissociating the community with the stigma of paraphilia.
So, zoophile is either something that you are, or something that you do. But not both at the same time. If zoophilia is something that you do, as you seem to imply, the attraction must exist independently and it makes sense to label it (zoosexuality, maybe?).
I hope to hell you're not trying to put yourself on a pedestal.
Anything that has "-sexuality" in it is a general term. Homosexuality for example says nothing about any emotional involvement of the participants. But zoophilia ALWAYS was meant as a term that involves an evaluation of the emotional part, thus the "-phile" part. Hae phileia = friendship. It´s not my fault that general perception as well as that of some community members is so sloppy and won´t hold up to an exact semantic dissection of the used terms. If we want change, we have to start using the terms as they were intended to be used. Or will we be content with the common misunderstanding of zoophilia as "fucking with animals" forever?
For your agrument regarding necessary experience: Well, this is sooo fucked up right now...let me put it like that: does fantasizing about flying an airplane turn you into a pilot? Does fantasizing about skydiving turn you into an Airborne Ranger? Does fantasizing about being a rockstar turn you into one? Does fantasizing about lots of cash turn you into a billionaire? So, why should fantasizing about sex with animals turn you into a bona fide zoophile then? Wearing a NFL jersey won´t turn you into an actual NFL player. Having sex change surgery won´t turn you into a "real" woman/man from a biological point of view. This is exactly what I address with my accusation of growing infantilism. This tendency to flee reality, flee into a world that´s entirely existing in your own heads, without ANY connection to actual reality. "You can be anything you want"....no, you can´t. I don´t subscribe psychology´s attempt to separate sexual from gender identity, I don´t support the total dissolution of reality and mind, it will only lead to even more mentally unstableness and further alienating from reality. This culture of "if you feel like it, then you are it" is bogus, infantile and serves as a cash cow for the vast number of therapists, further enhancing their wealth.
What we really experience these days, with all of this "feel it = be it" nonsense is a direct reaction of our exposure to vast electronic reality tunnels...it´s the TV that has made us insane. Multiple channels with separate reality tunnels you can switch to will inevitable have some imprinting effects of those using, hopping between those RTs all day. For example, the furries for me are a direct reaction to exposure of anthropomorphic animals in cartoons and any "furry" is only reenacting the reality tunnel he/she has been imprinted on in childhood. The same goes for zoophilia and your claim there is a "zoo identity", even without any actual experience. It mainly based on exposure to this topic, paired with the quest for "identity" the generation Y is having so much problems with. The MLP "fandom" consisting mainly of 20-30 year old males who never had or will have actual experience with horses is a fine example for this. Living in a fantasy world, spaced out, brainfucked by an industry.
"Zoophilia is either something that you are or something that you do"...sorry, but rubbish.It is both at the same time...something you are and that will make you act in a certain way. Experience is vital...someone without experience will never know what it is like to be a zoo, the only thing he/she can do is fantasizing. The same goes for homosexuality. Without actual sexual behavior, there´s no way to identify an orientation. An orientation is something that forces you to act on it, that´s why we zoos still continue with our "dirty deeds" although they are threatened with punishment. Sexuality is a primordial force, at least if it is a genuine orientation, not adventurousness. Anyway, I tried my best to get my point across and I know that I have the support of quite a few true zoos who also watch the ongoing dissolution within our community, the misinterpretations and the bullshit you youngsters come up with. I probably could explain it more clear if I could do it in German; so you have to wait for our first book; I dedicated an entire chapter to sort out the terms in a coherent and logical way to end this clusterfuck once and for all. It seems to be an essential necessity.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H8L0gSArg0s
"I can´t have sex with a man, I´m gay"...;)
The earliest mention of the term zoophilia in a sexual context I could find is in the 1894 edition of the General Journal of Psychiatry (Allgemeine Zeitscrift fur Psychiatrie). The section on zoophilia was written by von Krafft-Ebing. The term is used as zoophilia erotica, which makes sense, because using the "exact semantic dissection of the used terms", as you said yourself, reveals that zoophilia is nothing but fondness or interest in animals. After all, a bibliophile is not someone who wants to fuck books. Zoophilia erotica explicitly specifies that the interest in animals is erotic in nature. The terms bestiality and zooerasty are also used correspondingly. (The word zooerasty is the best to refer to erotic attraction to animals, in my opinion. Semantically, there is no ambiguity.)
No. Zoophilia (erotica) should be, first and foremost, emotional attraction to animals. But you are the one who insists that sex has to take place for zoophilia to exist. If zoophilia had to do primarily with emotional attachment, sex would have to take a back seat. In fact, because sexual contact with animals can take place without any emotional involvement whatsoever, sex could be made completely irrelevant to the discussion. It seems to me that you imply that sexual attraction cannot exist without sexual behavior, which is completely ludicrous. How did you start fucking horses 30-30? Did you stick your dick in everything that moved until you found something that clicked with you or were you attracted to them from the get-go?
I've been interested in animal sexuality since my childhood. With little to no exposure to the subject. I did not have private Internet access until I was almost a man. The thought of humans and canines sharing intimacy came to me through my own mind, it had nothing to do with exposure with the topic beforehand. It is that thought that led me to seek this community in the first place, not the other way around.
Again, we're back to what I talked about above. Is zoophilia something that you do, or something that you are?
Lets look at what the DSM-5 has to say. It defines zoophilia as:
So, according to this, (and to you), zoophilia is something that you do. Well I, and many other people, do not agree with this. I believe that zoophilia is something that you are. No, fantasizing about being a billionaire doesn't make me one. But fantasizing about being intimate with animals and longing for their touch and presence every single day is enough to make me think I am romantically attracted to them; a zoophile. It makes no difference whether I stick my dick in a dog or not. Intimacy with them is still what I desire and, I could argue at this point, need.
The world isn't black and white. Animal sexuality is nuanced and for humans it's even more so.
I'm sure you do. I frequent zoophilesforum, a place filled with old farts, and I've yet to meet anyone who shares your point of view. Like it or not, the active community of zoophiles isn't very big. If I struggle to find your ideas reverberate anywhere else in the community, to me it means that very few people entertain them.
The thought of reading a compendium of sophistry and subjective garbage does not enchant me one bit, so I think I'll pass. Thanks.
hey thanks, I couldn't be arsed to type all that out, and you're a lot better than me at making a coherent post like this.
Thanks.
I get what 30-30 is trying to say, but I just don't agree.
[deleted]