I think I'm a zoophile because my first sexual experiences were with a dog licking me, and then another down the line humping me and momentarily penetrating. I was easily under the age of 12. Since then I get off to dog porn, but only in instances where the dog is on a girl in missionary and the dog is eagerly doing the work. I have had pets, and have not messed with any of them for as long as I have been with a partner.
I'm married with kids. I have to think about dogs when my husband and I are intimate. This isn't something I wanted, and I am not ok with it.
I kicked porn for what would have been 2 years on Dec 2nd, but the last two days I relapsed. I'm in a position where my husband and I can't be intimate for the next month or so, and my sex drive has been turned up.
It makes me sick. I don't want to be in this place anymore. I know this is the place for acceptance of zoophilia, but I want to clean myself of it once and for all.
Has anyone here dealt with this?
You don't have to be one.
If you only think about your husband when you have sex, are you aroused? If not, maybe see a sex therapist (without mentioning zoophilia). Maybe, the way you have sex is boring.
Some people get turned on by zoophilia, because it is exotic. Do something different with your husband.
For me to finish I have to resort to a fantasy, and the only fantasies that involve humans that actually work for me are ones where men have that same animalistic thirst I see in dogs. Maybe I do need to see a sex therapist.
"primal" kink is a thing, with no animals involved.
I think seeing a therapist could help. I'm in a similar situation, although not entirely the same, with a family, and its not as easy as people make it out to be. I can't just tell my husband, I put everything I have at risk, even if he isn't hostile about it, I don't know if it would disturb him, or change our intimacy, or change his views on me as a mother, etc. It's so risky. I'm not ready to possibly give everything up. I'm currently looking for a therapist myself.
Honestly, I think that sort of comment does more harm than good. Obviously she's been trying to suppress this part of her for years, and it's not been successful.
It doesn't sound like she's into zoophilia as a kink, but more that it's her orientation. And orientations are notoriously difficult to change. So much so that it's recognized that things like gay conversion therapy does more harm than good, and is banned for minors in various countries.
I've always been of the opinion that only the OP can know that, personally. I will say that change is very very difficult if it's truly your orientation.
This isn't really a matter of a single case though. When I say "more harm than good", I mean that the few times which they might help are overshadowed by the many times they do nothing but harm.
If we played a gambling game where I flipped three coins, and if all three were heads, you got 1000 dollars, but if even one was false I shot you, playing that game would overall do more harm than good, even if in some circumstances it did some good.
It's possible that this OP would be one of those helped by such a comment, but that doesn't really change the effect of such comments overall.
Sorry for being blunt here, but I think it's necessary.
Trying to change your orientation is not something that is likely to succeed. You may not like that you're a zoophile, but that is the hand you have been dealt.
So then, what choices do you have?
Well, you could obviously try to suppress it, as you've been doing, but it doesn't seem like that's working too well and it seems to have caused quite a bit of distress. I don't think that's a healthy option.
You could try talking to your husband. Some human couples do things like "puppy play", which might help you enjoy sexual activity with him more. You could also talk to a sex therapist, as has been mentioned, they might have other options.
You could - and i think this is the best option - learn to accept yourself for who you are. Why aren't you okay with being a zoophile?
she's married with a family. completely disregarding any feelings of guilt (common to those who are "waking up" to zoo feelings), that in itself is enough to not want the complications it could cause if it becomes known. she loves her family and doesn't want to jeopardize it; this could.
Sure, but this wasn't a rhetorical question, it was a serious one. Different people have different reasons, and while that might be her main reason, there might be other things as well. I find it better to not assume in cases like this.
I feel like I can't give my whole self to my husband. Like I'm cheating him and myself by not being able to wholly be with him.
It seems to also go against my moral compass. In fantasy my mind strays to things such as "What if I find myself alone? I probably would not marry another man. I don't believe there is another one out there for me. I would probably find a dog instead..." but then moral compass from deep, deep down kicks in and tells me that isn't what's right for me. That I would get plenty of surface level enjoyment out of it, but that the connection I am searching for will only come from being properly intimate with my husband. I will be left empty with a dog mate.
We tried being intimate tonight and I avoided all thought of anyone/anything but him. When that didn't work I focused on primal and human. I just could not get aroused. I then tried to go back to the usual in my mind and by then I was so frustrated that I just gave up. I honestly don't think it's a kink.
I guess I don't really understand orientation, and I feel conflicted in accepting something I feel at my core is wrong. I could easily get caught up in it if I went that route though.
First off, to agree with what others have said, it seems that you may legitimatly be zoosexual as an orientation. I would advise you to do some deep self-discovery and introspect your experiences and feelings with those of other zoos to give yourself a better idea of if you are a zoophile or if it's simply just a kink.
Secondly, I honestly feel for you, having been in a similar situation myself. Married, two kids, she knew from the beginning but gradually became less and less accepting and then less tolerant, finally becoming abusive and threatening me to repress my own sexual orientation and every other aspect of my identity that is canine in nature. After enduring ten years with her, some of which were very good and some very bad, I had to pull the plug.
This may not be the same case for you, OP, and I certainly hope it is not. Many people out there can surprise with how accepting and understanding they can be for someone they love.
Honestly, I'd confront your husband about it sooner rather than later and just be honest. Honesty and trust is what makes for the strongest and most enduring relationships. Perhaps he would even be willing to help you figure this out instead of trying to take everything on, on your own. If he's a good spouse, in my opinion, he will.
If he mocks or ridicules you, however, or wants to argue, you may want to consider finding someone who can apriceate you for you, entirely and not just you at the surface level. But only you can make that final decision.
I wish you the very best. Take care.
therapy would be the best option here. IMO, alone at first until you can come to some sort of conclusion about how you feel about all of these feelings you thought you'd left behind. it will be difficult to do alone, and if you don't feel you can, then perhaps bring your husband into the therapy (assuming that's an option) before reaching some sort of closure about your feelings. i think having that closure first would help in marriage counseling that i think would be a good next step, if for no other reason than to have a mediator when you start telling your husband about your other feelings. it's clear you love your family and want to keep everything status quo.. but IMO you do need to confront these feelings and find a way to resolve them in some way before you can continue on without a large amount of stress and guilt. i will say i have to agree with others that it is very unlikely these feelings will just go away (as they've shown already that they won't, or at least not completely).
best of luck to you .. it will likely be a long tough road (it already has been, i'm sure), but i hope you find happiness down that road in time.