Hi everyone. I don't really know how to word a lot of this as it's not something I've ever really talked about but to one person, and I'm scared too. I'm still in high school so if this isn't allowed, I am sorry. There was no 18+ warning for the sub on my end. I just want to feel not so alone in this and perhaps even get some advice. I don't know if this is NSFW or not.
For starters, I'm a bisexual female. Relations with animals is legal where I live but if I were to ever somehow get caught (not that I have done anything) I'm sure someone could find some other thing to get me for. I've known for years and years that I've been into animals, specifically hooved ones and canines and some others, but mostly canines. I distinctly remember as a kid fantasizing and doing things to myself while fantasizing. It goes hand in hand with a couple of other things too but it's mostly animal related. For years they were my only fantasies, and my first human related ones were only when I got my first boyfriend. They didn't last very long as I started to fantasize about them (and subsequent partners) with canine genital anatomy, among other features. I don't do that with my current boyfriend (who wasn't born male) only because I've separated sex from what actually gets me off. So to bring back the bisexual part- I say I am bisexual, but I don't get off during sex, nor have I ever. It's not that the sex is bad at all, I've been with a wide variety of partners with different skills and amounts of experience- I just don't get aroused during sex. To be fair, it feels good for a few minutes, and in previous years I enjoyed it but now it's a pain in the ass and I'd just rather spend my time with them doing other things. That could also be in part for maturing sexually, I am unsure.
Anyhow, they lack what I need and want, honestly. It's nothing against them, they're still attractive. I'm just not that attracted. Porn of real people never did anything for me either. I'm sure I could train myself for it to, but I fail to see how it's in any way helpful or useful. I have tried to train myself to be easier to get off during sex but I still can't let go and just see sex with a partner as an act to please and pleasure them, or as a bonding activity.
Despite this I consider myself bisexual, not because I am sexually attracted to both sexes but because I can very well bond with people emotionally and mentally no matter the genital set. For the lack of sexual attraction I have wondered if I am asexual, yet, I know I am lying to myself. I have a very high sex drive at times, but it's all just... nonhuman animals.
As far as physical sexual experiences with animals, I haven't had any. I've never really owned dogs. I had a Chinese crested for a few months when I was around 4 years old or so, and he stood on his hind legs and his dog donger came out a bit once. I said he was "dancing" and immediately felt my genitals responding. Otherwise, no chance to bond with a dog of my own let alone reach a point where I'd do that with them.
I'm not sure if it might do me any good to add that because of all of this I am a member of the furry fandom and also have a thing for BDSM. I've seen pup play mentioned in other posts as a way to, uh, express the desire or something, and I am into pup play but as of yet haven't found any sexual partner who is mutually fond of it. I've had others be open to it but if one isn't into pup play in the first place, it just doesn't work for me. I'm sure I'll have much better luck in finding someone who is into it when I move to college next year into a large city from a small town, so that's good.
I feel ashamed from time to time, weird, different and gross sometimes, knowing and fearing if anyone I cared about knew that they'd go on some sort of witch hunt and condemn me. Even if it's legal here, I don't doubt the ability of people to go batshit and find some other thing to put me down with. Other times, I can't do much else but feel resigned. There's no point in feeling ashamed because it won't change for me.
Thank you for listening.
It sounds to me like you've got a pretty good handle on things, I wish I had as good a grasp at your age; I envy those of you who've grown up with the internet. Most of the common advice you seem to be well aware of so let me offer you a welcome instead.
In general, I'd encourage you to try to find happiness with humans if at all possible, it will likely save you so much hassle. That said, I'm not sure that what we want has any affect on what we're attracted to in the long run. I don't mean to make it out to sound like being a zoo is all negative, but it does have some pretty heavy downsides. Probably the worst is losing a beloved partner, as it can unhinge you for a while. It's not something I'd want anyone to experience, but for zoos it's largely a fact of life that you're going to outlive them.
Shame seems to be a very common thing, not just for us, but for many people when it comes to sex. If you aren't hurting yourself or others, what's there to feel shame about?
I went through a bad bought of depression when I found my girlfriend was sent away and I don't know how I'll handle it when my daughter dies.
The internet has been great for support throughout the years, even if it has been just reading about others with my interests up until now.
I've tried- really, I've been happy with people in the past, yet aspects were certainly missing.
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I agree with egoldstein as far as finding something with a human, if at all possible. Even though I've gone back and forth as far as labelling my own sexuality, over the years, from heterosexual with zoophilic tendencies to zoo exclusive but open to the possibility of developing something with one special human, should an opportunity present itself. Honestly, I'm dual-orienred to both canines and humans in a romantic context. I do, however have extremely strict standards when looking at humans which is why I'm a loner because it's hard to find those animal qualities in a human female but I'm at a point now, at 34 years of age, that I'm done compromising in terms of finding a human partner. I've got a beautiful Husky/GShep girl at home that loves me dearly and I don't need anyone else in my life so if I do elect to pursue someone, it'll be on my terms and only because I want them there.
How is it possible, then, that I agree to finding something that works with a human if I am so stubborn? Well. I've been down that road for a long time and tried finding something that works to no avail and I've come to accept a few things about relationships over the years. I think a human-human relationship can work even if one or both partners are predominantly attracted to animals, it simply depends on the dynamic between the two humans. The aspect of petplay would help as well as how animal-esque one of or both humans were. Personally, there's just some minor aspect to the whole course of life that having an animal partner cannot fill and likewise, there's something that a human cannot totally fulfill either. Perhaps I'm too picky or I want too much but I can't help it. I am the way I am and I won't change.
My point in all of this is, don't ever give up hope, don't ever throw in the towel if you feel the same or similar. Dont ever think you're too broken or too weird for someone else to accept and click with on the most intimate and personal level.
I truly believe that there's someone out there for everybody and, even if that person takes a lifetime to find, it'll be worth the struggle and worth the wait. Every tunnel, no matter how dark or dreary, has an end and at that end there is a light.
Hope this helps.
When I was in high school, I played video games and football with my buddies.
I play video games too. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I'm just exploring my own sexuality.
...no, you´re just consuming recordings of other people´s sexuality and mistake it for exploring your own. But it isn´t.
Recordings of other people's sexuality? What the heck? I've been lurking on this sub for quite awhile on my main account (which is over 3 years old) but only just now posted. I'm not sure why you seem so territorial over zoophilia (especially in other comment threads where I've seen you) but perhaps you should open up your mind a bit so you don't come off as so elitist. I'm not sure what hurt you so bad but it's not something that you alone experience.
You have absolutely no idea the shame I have felt all of these years for it or how different I have felt, anything. I knew I was attracted to animals way before I had the concept of what sex or love was. Way before I had access to porn, access to the internet, anything. Actually, it was one of the first things I looked into when I got access to the internet years later.
Try talking to me and asking about my experiences before thinking I'm just sampling the sexuality of others... or whatever. I may be a teenager still but that in no way means I am inexperienced or unaware of what I am attracted to. I'm sure many other zoos can attest that it's something that emerged early on. I'm not an idiot who can't recognize what I am into, especially when what I am into has consistently interfered with my own sex life with humans.
don't take anything he says personally.
Alrighty- thanks :)
I found that, before outright adopting a dog, a good helper for me was to go and regularly volunteer at the local dog shelter after school. This gave me that close emotional canine interaction that I really in part craved, while at the same time genuinely benefitting the struggling animals.
Thank you! I've considered this but due to odd circumstances (I don't live with my biological parents nor do they give child support) I don't yet have a car. I will here soon though and have looked into volunteering.
When I was 12 and till 15 I was kinda heterosexual (or I though I was, maybe I was just human instincts tying to push me for girls) but zoosexuality took over. Was like having one of those things that have equal weight in both sides (balance I think is called) when I was 12, but every month, a bit of the weight of the heterosexual side got moved to the zoosexual side and eventually there was nothing left on the heterosexual side once I hit 15. Every time I though about sex with humans, I always though, can dogs do the same? Seem that you may be experiencing a similar thing? If so, cool to see some one experience a similar thing.
I think you would benefit both, from hanging around asexual forums and zoosexual forums. And BDSM forums ;)
And I hope some day you get your own dog. Wish you happiness.