I don't think you're really "tricking" her. I really think you can swing this a lot of ways; maybe it's best to approach this from a horse-like understanding of how the world works. If anything, I feel like mating with her without the chance of pregnancy is more of a deception (as relates to a sort of "natural order of things") than mating her and getting her pregnant, no matter the means. Maybe it's unclear and up for debate, but I personally do not think that you should make this your "inner frustration," such a thing will only detract from what could really make you (and seemingly her) happy.

If it helps, maybe think of this as simply breeding your mare to a stud. It's really no different in principle. Except, in practice, it's far better than just breeding your mare to a stud. You pamper the crap out of her, you love her, you do everything with a focus on her feeling happy and healthy, and you can feel happy yourself because YOU are your foal's sire in every way that really counts.

Best of luck to you and Safira, I'm sure she will be a wonderful dam for your foal. Have you ever met your surrogate?

After reading your text twice, I´m still not sure whether this has anything to do with reality or is entirely fantasized by you.

First, I´ve never met ANY horseowner who wanted to do AI him-/herself. It takes a whole lot more than just the equipment, it takes a lot of training to place the stallion´s semen exactly where it belongs. Normally, this is a vet´s job...they studied it, they practiced it with dummies...a lot......as an amateur, all you can do by trying to AI your own horse is damage. Get that stupid idea out of your head, immediately. Leave it to the pros...and, btw, not even I, a riding instructor, would ever try to do AI on my own...I´ve seen way too much examples of intra-uterine infections from AI by a TRAINED vet.

Additionally, I really think you are doing one big no-no of zoophilia, you "humanize" your horse. Your mare hasn´t "changed" since she saw a foal...she´s the same horse as she was before and YOU´RE the one who has changed. To be clear and precise: all you´ve written above is nothing but YOUR own interpretation.

Your descriptions of "the act" really smell fishy to me...how can you hug her during sex? I´ve seen a pic of your horse and have enough expertise to know that the only thing you can hug during sex with a fullsized mare is her butt. No " I have her wrapped in my arms while she climaxes"...unless you´re 4 meters high.

Sorry to say it, but a lot of your text sounds terribly like fantasy to me. Buying AI equipment without having the proper training of a vet and without a STERILE room for storage and processing the semen is pointless...and expensive. Your mare does not "want" a foal...and using semen from a stallion to impregnate her absolutely won´t make you "the father" of the foal...trust me, I´ve been thinking about that issue for the entire time of partnership with my mare.

You also wrote that you´re willing to buy semen from a top stallion. You know that this is an expensive thing to do, right? And it doesn´t even guarantee success...AI often has to be done several times until the mare absorbs the semen properly and gets pregnant...and each time, you´ll have to pay for the new semen sample. Prices for the semen of a top stallion almost always range in the four digit area...no refunds when AI fails.

I really thought "Hey, another one like me", when you arrived here...but after this, I´m not so sure anymore. What do you keep a fullsize horse for? You don´t have an interest in riding, as it seems...you know that horses, especially young ones, are dependent on proper training to build up the muscles early enough to support their weight.

I really don´t know what to make out of your text...if I were you, I´d immediately quit this "my mare wants to be a mother" crap...this is entirely your perception, with a lot of "human" in there...combined with the other dubious things in your text, I´d strongly recommend to rethink your entire perspective. Taking proper care of a foal isn´t an easy task, it also includes a pregnancy phase of almost one year in which you should abstain from ALL sexual activities with your mare if you don´t want to risk your foal. A small, intra-uterine infection can lead to abortus quickly, you´ll also notice a distinctive mood change when she´s preganant...she won´t be interested in sex for a long time, I assure you. Are you ready for a year (if you´re lucky, can expand to almost two years if the heat cycle takes time to regenerate) of celibacy?

You displayed so much lack of "horse wisdom" here...and your descriptions of the act also make me wonder if you really know anything from own experience. You know, there are lots of people out there who form their "zooness" from other people´s wank stories...and your text tends to read a lot like this...maybe it´s the language barrier (I have to struggle with that myself sometimes), but your text lacks a lot of stringency and consistency. Based on the text above, I´m not sure anymore what type of "zoo" you are...

You think too much. Seriously.

As i could see, type a text using a smartphone lose its formatation when you press "Send" im ok with it, but please take ease to me. :(( When some one whos live in a distant place and no human people around to talk, and you late submerges in a silent world of body language for many years, you need something to hold your feets on ground, and time to time you need a place to express your feelings, i prefer to deal with animals than human people cuz they dont hurt you like people does when you fragilized try to share some personal with like minded ones then BINGO you're reduced to ashes. This place isnt diferent from the world out there.