(Parody lyrics to Helpless, from Hamilton)

Boy you got me

Helpless!

Look into your eyes, and the sky's the limit I'm helpless!

Down for the count, and I'm drownin' in 'em.

I have never been the type to pass up any chances.

We were at a party with some hearty laughs and glances,

Dancin' with my friends as we listen to a tune.

Then you walked in and I almost swoon.

Tryin' to get you near me by pattin' on my leg.

No one else is lookin' and I almost beg.

Finally you come and I scratch your head.

Grab some snacks for you, knowin' that you wanna get fed.

Then some other folks began to pet you.

And I got nervous, thinking "What'll I do?"

They took you by the collar, I think "I'm through"

Then you wag at me and suddenly I'm

Helpless!

Oh look at that tail!

Yeah, I know I'm

Helpless!

I'm so into you!

I know I'm down for the count.

One week later

I'm visiting you daily

Now my life gets better

Every time we play so gaily.

Laughin' at your owners cuz they don't understand.

They think of him as just a friend who follows my command.

Ha!

Two weeks later in the kitchen and sweatin',

Your owners made aware of my intentions (I'm no cretin!)

I'm shaking in my sweater as I reassure,

And explain that we both gain because there's nothing else but love in me.

Your owners stare for a second or three.

I panic, thinking that our love won't be

But then they say that they accept my plea.

And I turn back to you, smiling, and I'm

Helpless...

This moment, the boy is mine!

The pupper may not have a dazzling intellect, a fine pedigree, a collar for fleas, a little respect.

All he has is his kindness, an instinct to protect, a couple of tricks to do and, when I last checked,

Erect, my hand brings out a different side of him,

A rougher ride with him,

Sometimes a nip or a little bite with him,

That's fine, his care for me is never in doubt.

We'll get a little bit more practice and we'll figure it out.

He started out his life when he was a pup as a stray.

Hungry and cold, no older role models, no time to play,

But hey, his life is easier now, this is real, and long as I'm alive,

This dog, I swear to God will never feel so...

Helpless!

My life is gon' be fine cuz this dog is in it.

I look into his eyes and the sky's the limit, I'm...

Helpless!