I wouldn't date anyone either, and I don't want "just sex" either. If I ever have it I would also care and be kind to whatever I do it with, of course, and would treat them the way I should for that kind of relationship, but what I meant by "dying a virgin" is just a frustration that sometimes gets to my head when I suddenly get excited and need to get rid of it (and I get excited Very easily). It's not a thought that I have in mind all the time, it just pops up when I get excited and need to masturbate. I always end up feeling a bit unhappy after doing it because I have always the mindset of "I wish I could actually do it instead of looking at the same videos and pictures over and over". But I know what you mean, trust me.

And thank you a lot for responding and supporting me.

ps: sorry if I commit some language barriers or grammar mistakes, english is my second language.

hm yeah. To be honest I always loved being with animals and this is a thing that everyone that know me knows, so I really doubt I would hate walking around with a horse. But the place I live makes it hard to happen, even something as simple as that, since there are no horses around at all. And well to be honest I don't like riding at all, I would love walking side by side with a horse but not riding it. I've done that before but I just honestly don't like it and don't think it's necessary. And well, to be fair I'm not interested in dedicating my work life with animals. I like them but I don't have any dream job that is related to animals to be honest, so all of this makes it just very difficult.

Thank you a lot for responding and supporting me.

And, as another person said... virginity isn't some curse to be lifted. It's practically a buzzword at this point, used to shame women when it's lost, and shame men when it's kept. Worrying about it at such a young age doesn't help you, at any rate. You'll get there some day, I'm sure, but try to keep your focus on finding the perfect partner, for now.

I don't care about the lavel "virgin" at all, what I fear is not "being virgin", but just the thought of never getting to do the thing, just never being able to do what I want to do. I know what you mean but I think I expressed my self the wrong way. I hope I made it a bit clearer here (tell me if I didn't).

Check your state/country/province's bestilality laws first. Odds are your therapist will be chill about it, but it's important to go into their office informed about relevant legislature if you do speak with them. This also kind of depends on your locality. Is where you live super religious? Is your therapist religious? Are they socially conservative around there? A yes to any of those questions should warrant extra caution, if nothing else. Again though, your therapist will likely be more understanding than most people, but confidentiality can go out the window if they think you'll be harming animals intentionally by sexing them up.

This is interesting, I didn't think of it before so I will be checking it. My place is fortunately not very religious, and my therapist isn't even religious and he seems to be socially progressive/liberal. I would say my location is pretty progressive in general and little socially conservative but I think they would obviously still freak the f'ck out about it. I imagine many would react actually calmed but they still wouldn't understand it and tell it to other people as a gossip, and the biggest problem is that I don't think they will ever agree with the fact that these animals can have consensual sex with a human (or other animal) since they strongly believe that sexual orientation is a very strong thing that every species have since they are born and that makes them be only attracted to their own species. I see this in most people from all locations in the world of today. When people hear "zoophilia" or "bestiality" they can only imagine a rapist and they will laugh if I ever say you don't have to rape an animal to have sex with it and say I know nothing. My point is that some might react like "oh okay, it's your preference and there's nothing to do about it and I respect it even if I don't get it as long as you don't do it " (because they would believe it would be obviously rape).

I can tell you something that your therapist should tell you as well. Emergent sexuality is common after depression, so what you experienced is not at all abnormal. Depression causes changes in your body at the hormonal and neurological level, and those contribute to decreased or eliminated sex drive and attraction. Not to sound like a creep or anything, but you'd make for a very interesting case study, I suspect.

I am aware of this, and I know what you mean. I also think I myself am a kind of interesting case if you see it that way.

This is probably the best solution, tbh. Barring you buying a plot of land, building your own stable, cha-ching cha-ching, etc, etc, you'd be looking at housing a mare in a communal stable. /u/30-30 is quite familiar with that circumstance if you've got questions. You don't have to change your life terribly much with a large dog(aside from the large time and money investment, but nothing compared to a horse), and you'll probably find your attraction to the individual in your care growing as your relationship develops. Sex is heavily influenced by your emotional state, and emotional attraction to your partner.

Yeah, a dog would be a lot easier, but far from what would be the best and sadly way harder (a mare). Thanks for the info and the user suggestion though. I will investigate a bit about this.

Don't be afraid of pornography by the way. I always get shit for saying this, but there's no point in not using it if it helps. Having an outlet at your fingertips is helpful because even if you do develop a sexual relationship with a female dog, there is a decent chance that you'll be looking at long stints of time where she's not interested at all.

I never saw anything wrong with porn so yeah, I understand

Oh, and welcome to the community. Always nice to see a new face. C:

Thank you a lot for this, seriously, it helps me a lot.

I really hate to go off-topic, but...

Not to sound like a creep or anything, but you'd make for a very interesting case study, I suspect.

This is so you.
I always imagined you as some kind of weird professor wanting to know about people and thinks they're interesting.
Especially with the language you use...

virginity isn't some curse to be lifted. It's practically a buzzword at this point, used to shame women when it's lost, and shame men when it's kept.

well put. i admit to feeling this stigma as well. i strove hard to not become a "40 year old virgin". i finally lost it (depending on how it's defined) at the age of 39.

edit:

also, this -

Don't be afraid of pornography by the way. I always get shit for saying this, but there's no point in not using it if it helps. Having an outlet at your fingertips is helpful because even if you do develop a sexual relationship with a female dog, there is a decent chance that you'll be looking at long stints of time where she's not interested at all.

i'd like to add that if you happen to be interested in multiple species, porn still has some importance (unless you're able to care for members of all species/breeds youre interested in, helpful if the number is small).

Finally, an important question for you that I feel sort of came up in your thread: What do you really want out of this? You mentioned that your main motivation for getting an animal would be to have sex. Be careful here, there is a fine line between someone who wants to just have sex and someone who wants to love and take care of an animal, even if you do not mean to harm the animal in any way. Zoophilia is more than just a sexual attraction, it is a romantic attraction as well, which means that you desire a relationship with an animal and more than just sex. Taking care of an animal comes with a lot of responsibility, one of the biggest burdens of any relationship, and is something you should keep in mind.

Like I mentioned in some responses to other previous comments, I always loved animals and being with them. Wait let me just quote it

To be honest, sometimes I even dream of living with these animals and not even because of that reason at all, I just enjoy being with animals the same way I enjoy being with people, social activity, it's just that I need both kinds of social activity. Before all of this I was already thinking of moving to a more country place in the future to just be able to have animals to live with because interacting 100% with humans can get stressful for me sometimes. But then I thought about the facilities I have in a big city or suburb and ended up kinda convinced of keep living here, but then this new thing started and the whole dilemma started again. sigh.

I always liked going to natural reserves or farms and see animals, or having pets and such. I had a cat, three dogs and a parrot and I always am the one that gives the most attention to them in my family, like, the rest of my family seem to have just "bought" like they were toys and I always criticized it from them, and I always cared the most about these animals and tried to raise them correctly and make them as happy as possible. I currently have two dogs but they are very little races and both male so, nothing sexual, but I still care a lot about them.

On the other hand, I consider myself "a-romantic" (if that even exists), I don't understand the behavior of people and their human partners, I can understand some, but most of them are so obsessive I just never related to it. But with this I don't mean that If I ever have a non-human sexual partner I wouldn't love them, because I would... maybe it's just the same as my sexual orientation, it only works on these animals. But I know what you mean and I know some of what I say might sound offensive or anti ethical.

I wouldn't get an animal just for that though, I would love to have a dog or even a horse, but to be honest I believe that my main motivation to own one would be to have sex in the future.

This is especially what sounds bad and I understand if it does. But I think I make it clear with my previous quote. I always liked the idea of moving and having a more friendly-like place to own animals and live with them, even before being zoophile, but I dropped the idea because of the job and human social facilities I can get in a big city, but now this made me consider it all again, and this is what I meant in that fragment of my post.

I would never forgive myself if I had an animal solely for that and don't give them the attention they deserve. I know that dogs, cats and parrots are nothing compared to a mare when it comes to the care of it and money and everything, but as I said, I still always liked the idea of getting to that, even before this.

The problem is that I also have a big social struggle happening nowdays, which is that I don't have any friends irl. I was so depressed in all my middle and high school years (not because of not having friends, but because of a totally different reason that has nothing to do with any of this) that nobody liked me (and I didn't like anyone either), and now I work and study alone suffering from it, because the only people I ever see are my relatives and I am getting kinda fed up of it. But there are chances for me to start having classmates next year and hence start fixing this, but it's contraty to this other objective I am considering now, and I would eventually still get tired of it even if I have a lot of friends and no animal-social activity. Maybe I can do both things but I really don't know, I am like the average big city-citizen that is very ignorant about country/farm life aspects and I just don't know how to proceed to even make my goals clearer. It's not like I never had any opportunity to have friends either, tbh. I had some chances in the last years and it was cool, I mean, I know what it is like to interact with people, I'm not autistic or anything in case any of you wonder.

Questions don't bother me, if you have more questions just ask me.

I don't see a problem here. I can understand wanting to have a partner but I don't see why this matters.

.

I don't care about the lavel "virgin" at all, what I fear is not "being virgin", but just the thought of never getting to do the thing, just never being able to do what I want to do. I know what you mean but I think I expressed my self the wrong way. I hope I made it a bit clearer here (tell me if I didn't).

.

I have a feeling this might be a phase. I've seen people who thought they were homosexual, then they were zoo, then this and that. I don't really have to say anything to say to that. Ever thought about hanging around animals and taking a good look at them?

well, I've had 0 sexual orientation/preference until I was 21 (almost 22), when this started. I am now almost 25 and it's still literally the same, nothing changed from when this started. I still am sickly attracted to mares and get excited very easy. I was close to some in the last couple of years, I saw some walk close (not where I live though, I was traveling) and I got excited very easily and it felt kinda awkward (and kinda sad because the feeling of impossibility and hopelessness usually comes with this too). I know what you mean but it's just a very strong feeling. I can't tell if this will change in a future or not, but I can tell you I've been like this since 3 years ago and still the same. Looking at them excites me on the internet and irl too.

Thanks a lot for commenting and supporting.

It is kinda frustrating though, everyone started penalizing it in the last 10 years all of the sudden

That's true, especially in the United States: since 2005, there have been 11 states that have banned it. Last year, 2 states (OH and NH) banned it, and now there are 4 states (VT, KY, WV, TX) in the U.S. with anti-zoo bills. It has been a recent anti-zoo onslaught, which has wrongfully criminalized sex with animals in many jurisdictions, because no one is speaking out against these new laws (for their safety).

And in Europe, most of the anti-zoo laws were made since 2005 as well (Sweden banned it in 2014, Denmark banned it in 2015, etc.)

One problem is if someone decides to move to a place where it is legal, and by the time they get there a new anti-zoo law has just been made.

Man, calm down.

I have a damn bad feeling about this and you. You basically are drawn towards animals because , well, awkward with humans.

This is not true. I expected some would say this, but didn't expect it from here. I'm not awkward with humans, I'm not socially awkward at all if that's what you mean. I never said I am, why do you think that?

I also think you heavily project something onto animals (especially mares) that simply isn´t there and you´d have a rather rude awakening once you realise that. I cannot understand the general tone in this very thread, starting from recommending the usage of animal porn , which very often includes serious abuse of animals by the way. Let me ask you frankly: What do you know about horses? Have you ever had real contact with them beyond staring at them? I know, for throwing in some scepticism I´m the asshole again, but you don´t sound like someone who is nuts for horses. You simply seem to project all your newly discovered feelings and desires as an ex-asexual onto them , which is not the right mind to start with.

I agree with what you say here, and I admit it, and it's one of the reasons why I made this thread. I admit I'm not prepared to start the whole thing even if I had the possibility already, I would have to learn a lot of things about many things yet, and I want to, that's why I am here. But as I said in other comments, I always liked animals and considered being with some at some point of my life (not sexually at all, I'm talking about something that started before this in me), because I just like it. I watch a lot of documentaries and articles about many animals since I'm like 10 or less because it has always been something of my interest, and I am the one who enjoyes the most being with my pets in my family (again, not sexually at all). I know little about horses, I might know more than many people but I still never owned one or anything similar, but I want to learn and be able to, and not for sex, I honestly always wanted to, but it's hard when you live in a big city.

You´ve been listing all the ups of zoophilia, but have you realised there is an equal , if not bigger amount of downs involved in this?

Of course, I can imagine.

As a depressive fellow, can you live with the certainty of having to say a final goodbye to your animal in about 10 - 15 years (dogs) , 20 - 25 years (average full size horse) or 25 - 35 years (average pony life expectancy)?

I am not depressive anymore, as I said, my depression ended around 4/5 years ago. And yes, that's sad. If I could ask for any wish, I would ask for animals to live as much as us, but I think you are being pessimistic anyway to be honest. If your reason to not live with an animal is because it will die sooner than you, to me that's just seeing the negative side of it.

And since you already complain about the current status quo of zoophilia in almost any country in the world, can you imagine the tension you have to endure as a sexual pariah and criminal?

To be fair, I don't know if I should complain about it or not, because in the end it maybe is better for all the animals in general if rape rate is too high, which I have no idea about, but if it is, then maybe it's a good thing, but of course I know what you mean. And I am already imagining the tension.

How about all the duties involved in keeping horses? Are you willing to dedicate your life to this? Shoveling manure out of the boxes every day, even on your birthday, christmas and when one of your family members dies?

I am aware of this

Your head seems so much in the sky about this...I really suggest you do some in depth research before taking any action.

Yes, of course, I totally agree with this. I will be trying to investigate as much as I can in this big time ahead of me living here before taking any action at all.

I also suggest you should keep an open mind about your sexuality and avoid jumping to false conclusions too quickly. As WarCanine has said, there are lots of disoriented folks out there using animals as a comfy fallback , so they don´t have to deal with "these complicated humans". And there are phases some people go through...today, a "150% bona fide" zoophile, tomorrow "yuck, fucking animals...I´m into transsexual fart porn now"...;) And I´m not talking about a few months of getting aroused by animals, the first other "zoo" I met in real life was conviced for years that he´s a zoo...today, he has a wife and kids ..and absolutely no inclination towards sex with animals anymore.

I am aware of this, but from what you said in the beginning of your post you seem to believe I am socially awkward or think humans are complicated enough for this. This really isn't the case, I never felt any attraction from them, I never tried because I really have 0 interest in them (in this regard). Although, Hell, if you think about it, humans would be a lot easy than this, I wouldn't need to change my life as much as I should to do this other thing. In any case I think it's the opposite. I wish I was mostly attracted to humans. The reason I made this topic is precissely because this is all an incredibly hard thing to even think about. However I totally agree with the phases thing, I mean, I was asexual for the most part of my life and now this, so why not change again in the future? I believe it's a possibility, but I wouldn't do nothing at all in all my life just because it might change in the future. The same way an average person wouldn't avoid having a girlfriend and everything it implies just in fear of it changing in the future. I also know 3/4 years into this is not a lot of time so ofc, I can give it more time, but not a reason to not start thinking about all the ups and downs and doing researches and contacting people (here) and all, I really lose nothing by doing this.

I´m not trying to talk you down here, I just want to throw in some reasonable critique and show you that there´s a possibility of you getting carried away by your fantasies, further forging your possible false conclusion of being a zoophile. Let me be perfectly clear on this: the life of a zoophile is not paradise, it´s full of justified and unjustified paranoid feelings (being exposed), it´s a struggle (with society), it´s full of hard work (especially when it´s horses you´re dedicating your life to), it´s costly (horses again: farrier, vet, food, etc.), it´s sometimes disappointing ( if you anthropomorphise your animal...but that won´t turn it into a human), painful (certainty of having to let go of your longtime partner some day) and first and foremost, it´s not easy peasy.

Thank you for the realistic advices, I appreciate it a lot. But let me make you know that I already know most of this, I'm not trying to "get to the paradise-like life" because I know it will never happen, I know this new phase in my life is not a very positive thing. It is in some ways, but not in many others (for these reasons you mention), and this is exactly one of the reasons why I want to tell this to my therapist, I really need help, and you are helping too, but I also think I need support. But of course, your reasonable criitques are a lot important too, it's not all about support, but I'd say I (and everyone else here) need support, because it might also make things clearer for one. But again, don't think I don't take your points seriously, they are a lot important and I appreciate this from you a lot.

If your interest in horses is real, I recommend learning the basics by joining a decent riding club. There´s more you have to know than where a mare has her vagina...you have to learn how to handle horses ´cause they can kill you easily when you don´t know exactly what you´re doing. Yeah, sure, you had some pets before...but horses are no cats or parrots. You can´t keep ´em in the stables all day, you cannot keep just one as they´re social animals who need social structures to thrive and maintain a healthy condition.

I perfectly know this and I stated it in some comments.

Let me make it clear again, I'm not trying to achieve a change in my life yet, nor in the next close years, I'm just asking for any kind of help and advices and any useful information and whatever that can help me any way. I'm not even sure yet if I will ever want to do such a change in my life. As I said in my first post, I'm having a heavy conflict in this, full of insecurity regarding to what I want for my life.

(continuing this in the next comment)