There should be a "forever alone" type sub for zoophiles (self.zoophilia)
submitted 2017-03-27 23:28:05 by Darkspirit5
I've never even heard of such a thing existing. It would be interesting to see what kind of people show up, and to hear their stories. I'm not sure how others are able to cope with being part of a community where most of its members are active zoos, and are in happy relationships with their animals.
This needs to be a thing.
The problem is there would only be like 12 people active on there, which is like half our active users.
They'd be forever alone in that community, all right.
It was only a thought, but I refuse to believe that I'm one out of a few who are in this position.
Well, yeah. Of course you're not one of a few. It's just you wouldn't be able to attract enough users to post before stagnating. Subreddits are wierd, self contained, logistical hells in their early days.
That, and I think having a positive environment helps. If it was a support sub it might be helpful, but the longevity of the community would be dubious.
Does there? I was always under the impression that those kinds of communities online tended to get really unproductive and really gross really fast.
No, it can actually be helpful for some people.
I don´t think a "depressive lone zoo" sub would be beneficial at all. Such communities soon start mutating into an echo chamber with mutual reassurance of one´s "deep desperation"...with the possible end of "suicide parties". I also don´t understand what exactly is so hard in finding an animal partner...everyone can do it if he/she is determined enough.
When I compare my mindset when I was 16 and finally realise that my life will only be worth living with a mare by my side, there was nothing that could keep me from trying to achieve that. When I recall your answers to all the proposals that have been made by various members in your other thread, I cannot avoid repeating a proverb "The dedicated find ways, the others find reasons (not to...)"
You , u/Darkspirit5, have rejected every proposal, you found excuses for every little advice given...pardon me when I say I got the impression you don´t really want contact with horses. You project all your expectations onto horses, yet you cannot find one single trigger that makes you get up your lazy, desperate ass and get shit done. Who do you expect to change your life for you? Fact is, no one will come to your rescue and you´ll have to make the decision to walk the walk yourself. A sub for your kind of folks would not even improve one single life, you´d be telling each other how "underprivileged" you are until the echoes completely deafen you. Please tell me: why is it so disencouraging to see others live their lives according to their wishes/plans? Shouldn´t that be more of an encouragement to try and find an animal yourselves instead? I mean, if (what I doubt, btw) more than 50 % of this sub´s members have managed to find an animal partner, why can´t you?
When analysing most of the "desperate" situations , it becomes clear pretty fast that it´s dedication you folks lack. You want an animal, but you want it effortless and without any change in your lifes. Cherrypicking plus a Nirvanaesque "Here we are now, entertain us" mentality.
Instead of demanding an extra sub for "lone zoos with depression", you could invest your energy in getting your ass up, tring to find an entrance to the real horse world. When I remember what I had to endure because I made my decision to learn horsemanship at 16....constant mocking about being obviously gay (´cause only homosexual men enjoy equestrian sigh ) by my friends, the vast amount of money I had to pay (10 one hour lessons for 200 Deutsche Mark...and I needed to buy another lot card every week , the fact that the conservative equestian community gave me, a long haired death metal freak with nose rings, a very hard time in the first two to three years, the inconvenience of being around people I had nothing in common except my interest in horses, etc. pp.....well, all of that couldn´t keep me from pursuing my interests, my goals in life. I drove through blizzards to be with my mare, I even visited the stables after I was bumped off my bike by a car, wearing a gilchrist for 6 weeks, unable to use my left arm at all. And you say "horses are dangerous", turn around and continue bathing in your self loathing because you have a bad back?
What´s the problem here isn´t access to horses or financial possibilities, your problem, u/Darkspirit5 , solely lies in your inactivity, in you shying away from taking your life into your own hands. That´s the real problem...you already could be sitting on a horse two to three times a week if it wasn´t for your special mindset searching for excuses not to act, not to take life into your own hands. I told you about Hannelore Brenner and other disabled riders and how they find great rejoice in horsemanship...and you have a bad back as an excuse not to try? Riding isn´t detrimental to your back, btw. It is said to strenghten the muscles supporting your back (if done right, of course). In your special case, I´d suggest learning and exercising Qi Gong , a Chinese relaxation/body awareness technique; if you´re really afraid your back could get damaged from riding, learn Qi Gong so you have the right amount of body awareness to quit certain lessons when they become too strenuous for your back. It´s really as easy as that. But you have to get out of your self made cocoon first if you really want to leave your fantasy kingdom.And that´s a step no one can make for you...
Despite of all the hurdles and obstacles, I managed to buy my mare at the age of 22. Even if people had lined up tanks to keep me from horses, I would have gnawed right through the steel to get to where I belong, where my home, my family is. Nothing, not even a medical condition, would have kept me from going my way. Who dares wins....
I find it interesting how you can write long-winded replies to damn near any subject, no matter how trivial.
I don't even have the energy to write a proper response. You assume way too much, I do know that. You think that whatever works for you, must work for other people. You also seem to have had an easy life when it comes to being around horses. My back is really messed up, and you say that I should just get over it and basically do something that is not physically possible for me to do? I could really destroy my back doing horseback riding, among other equine-related activities. Do you even have any serious health problems? Also thanks for going off-topic with your rant.
He can be... Very insensitive at times. I apologize on his behalf. Aggressiveness like his is something that we're trying to take a step back from.
Insensitivity stems from cluelessness, does it not?
Or a lack of empathy; there comes a point where you're blinded by such a condition.
This isn´t neither insensitivity nor cluelessness. It´s quite the opposite of both. Whenever someone makes a proposal like therapeutic riding, working as a farmhand or anything else , there´s no "Hell, I could try that", there´s only "No, I can´t do that because of *insert some random "reason" here". So, would you please tell the insensitive asshole what you think can be done here? And what do you think will be able to serve as a katalysator for him to realise that his dreams won´t get true by sitting on the fucking couch...you know there´s no "horses on wheels" service for those who don´t want to leave their homes, but still want horses in their lives.
When someone clearly shows there´s "no solution for my problem" and is not even trying it once, rejecting everything beforehand categorically, then it´s only logical to assume this isn´t about getting contact to horses, this is about getting petted by everybody..."Oooh, you poor fella!"
As I told before "The dedicated will find ways, the undedicated will find reasons (not to). ...and this holds truth in this case too. Hey, OP, would you please tell us what you expect from us? Are you waiting for someone telling you "You can come over and fuck my mare to fight your depressions?" Or what exactly would be sufficient to solve your "problem"? Let me tell you a eternal truth: If you don´t act and change your life , no one else will. If you want to be with horses, you gotta get up and put some effort in it. Despite all your replies, there practically is no reason not to give it a try. Bad back? Don´t do strenuous lessons and stuff. Allergies? Hypopen. For every single "reason" not to give it a shot, there´s an easy solution available...but you have to be willing to do something about your situation. We can only put a ladder down your self dug hole, but you have to climb up yourself, nobody can do that for you.
And if you like to call realism insensitivity, well, then call me an insensitive asshole....with horses. From demanding hug boxes , nobody will ever get one step closer to fulfill his/her dreams. You can call me what you want, but won´t eradicate my impression of the true nature of this "problem" presented by the OP. This isn´t about lack of access to horses, this isn´t about a medical condition that prohibits contact to horses, this is about telling yourself "I cannot have what I want without taking some risks in order to gain something".
Hey, Darkspirit5...if you want to talk only to folks who aren´t "clueless", you have to go to a shrink. Those guys know exactly how to deal with depression. And I bet they won´t tell you otherwise: "If you want to have contact with horses, you gotta go out there and make contact on your own initiative." It´s not like "Hell, yesterday, my door bell rang and a horse stood in front of my entrance" ...but even then, I bet the complaining wouldn´t stop.
I´m not even sure whether this really is depression or a case of advanced self fulfilling prophecy. "I never can make my dreams come true"...telling you this over and over again (as OP has shown in his other thread) surely won´t bring you closer to horses, not even one fucking step...and that´s the truth.I´ve seen people enjoying horsemanship who couldn´t walk a single step without crutches, I´ve seen people taking care of horses although they didn´t had the money to buy one of their own, I´ve seen so many little girls simply doing what the OP makes a real big fuss about. I really start to think the OP´s depressions aren´t a symptom of lack of access to horses (what isn´t true at all, btw), but it´s the other way around and OP only acquired this "interest" as another tile of the depression mosaic. A problem that can easily be solved by simply going out there and asking...on one hand, OP tells us how important horses are to him, on the other hand, all kinds of "reasons" are instrumentalised to brush off any proposal. Well, Op can do what he wants...but one thing´s for sure...horses won´t visit you in your private little safe space.
Sometimes it's best to just wait (and hope) for the medical field to advance. From what I've gleaned, he likely had a particularly severe case of scoliosis or hyperlordosis. He may have had fused vertebra, a wedge-shaped vertebra, or several causing severe displacement in the back, and perhaps even damage to the respiratory and circulatory systems. Surgical interventions are usually recommended for severe cases; ones that may cause enough stress on the heart and lungs to introduce a significant risk of heart failure or hypoxia. The typical treatment is the use of a herrington rod affixed to the affected areas of the spine, but it can also cause extreme pain and by nature doesn't handle high tension or impacts well(Herrington rods are somewhat likely to break in one's lifetime). There's every possibility that a horse even going at a slow trot would cause tension on his back and the hardware if it's as severe as he reported.
A doctor would advise never, and I mean never under any circumstances, to go horseback riding after surgery for even moderate scoliosis. It not only has the potential to cause excruciating pain in rather short order, but can also cause permanent damage to his hardware and spine. That is, of course, assuming he doesn't have any herniated/degenerated discs, and very hopefully assuming he doesn't have spinal stenosis. The worst case, by the by, is spinal cord damage, causing loss of sensory, motor, or vital functions... So, yeah, there's alot to lose. Especially with riding, which has the potential to break a herrington rod(which can cause severe nerve damage, and has happened a number of times historically). By all accounts though, spinal deformities are much like degenerative diseases. They almost invariably worsen over time, with exertion and movement in general accelerating the process.
I don't like playing this little game of 'point out shortcomings', but you're encouraging him to destroy his back even faster. You don't have a deformed back. You're likely physically fit. You probably ride several times a week if not daily. You're in perfect condition to ride, and in perfect condition to ignore many of the forces working on your body when you do so. He in all likelihood has none of those things. Had he not had the hardware, he'd be able to work on his core strength and enjoy somewhat minimized pain and damage, but post op it doesn't work. His opportunities for exercise, stretching, and physical conditioning in general are rather limited as well. Whether he wants to do it or not doesn't change the fact that it really would be self destructive, and the responsible approach is to stay back... Because getting a herrington rod replaced... Well, suffice to say, there are some people that have been enduring broken rods for decades, and that's even worse than the scoliosis.
It's a really shitty situation, and unless someone has the 20k to replace a broken rod, I wouldn't be riding in his situation either.
Do you really think he doesn't know this? He assessed his limits and deemed it beyond his limits. He knows himself and his body better than all the armchair psychoanalysts in the world. That's not him being in a safe space. That's him being a realist. You've got the rose tinted glasses on right now, but those come off the instant you look at another person, don't they? At the end of the day, he chose the responsible approach. That path with the least amount of personal harm. Sometimes that means foregoing personal fulfillment, and it takes a very mature person to make that kind of decision instead of risking life and limb for one thing.
Also katalysator=catalyst in English.
He isn't, though, not as far as I've seen. Even then, some support, emotional or otherwise, doesn't hurt, and is sometimes all you need. You have to realize, too, that dozens of good users have left or receded because of this shit specifically, and that's a problem too.
Well, I´m not encouraging him to destroy his back. If working with horses is impossible from the saddle, there is a multitude of other options available. Even I spent countless hours simply walking my mare through the area. My "record" was more than 6 hours, after which some other horseowners complained about me at the chairman of the club, saying that "I spend too much time with my horse". If walking is possible, then walking with a calm horse is possible. Someone with a bad back could also focus on working with the longe or doing less strenuous work like feeding, the maximum of weight you have to carry would be 3 kilograms...the average portion of hay for well trained dressage horses who work more than 2,5 hours a day.
Cleaning and preparing the horse before riding also is a very valid option and more than enough riders are not only willing, but welcoming anyone who is ready to jump in voluntarily.
First, I tried to offer alternatives to "traditional" horsemanship because I thought getting him into contact with horses, no matter what, would be something he too desires. But after all of his rebuttals, I´m not so sure anymore. I´m also not sure about the origins of his depression, I just happen to have stumbled across a very informative TED talk dealing with what might be a reason for depression. I´d lean out the window now, but I assume there is a lot of porn included in Darkspirit´s everyday life....this might give some explanation https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSF82AwSDiU
I don´t know whether it applies in this case, but by watching this, I begin to understand why there are certain types of "zoos" around.
After having had several "experiences" with my friend who is depressive from - severe alcoholism (18 half liter bottles of beer...daily) - loss of his well paid job - loss of his girlfriend (also an alcoholic, but of much more severe ilk than him) due to a bitch ass move from one of his former "friends" - constant conflict with his parents over his alcoholism - several attempts to kill himself and all the other "pleasant" details of a depressive alcoholic´s life, I boldly say that this very specific mindset won´t be changed by anything. Nothing will get a depressive out of his mindset, not even collective pampering, let alone offers and advice honestly meant to help.
What got me thinking the most was his certainty in his statement "I´m depressive because I never will be near horses". It this actually so? I doubt it, there are more than enough ways to work with or be around horses without climbing into the saddle and no one in the equestrian community will ever say anything about his disability to ride. He literally pulled out everything he could to avoid improvement of his situation....say, do you think that meeting a horse will magically and miraculously solve all his problems? I doubt it because I believe his depressions do not originate in what he identifies as the origins; I believe that this is his main reason to fend off any, literally ANY proposal...he subconsciously knows he is projecting and nothing will change after having contact with a horse.
"Dozens of good users have left or receded". And I´m to blame for that or what?!? Just say a word and I´ll be gone, AB. Unlike most others, I don´t need this. I have what I want, I live my life the way I want it. I´m not a victim of hug boxes, group dynamics and filter bubbles. If you don´t want me in here because of being open and speaking my mind, I can use my time in other, more rewarding ways. You don´t have to deal with me anymore then, but this so called community won´t hesitate to fall back into its trademark depressive mindset soon after the "ether" is clear again.
How long until everyone realises that we cannot afford the old, comfy ways anymore? How long until you see we´re holding ourselves back with this kind of hug box mentality, with this illusion of "community"? The "talk the talk" has become more important than to "walk the walk", as it seems. And say, are you applying your standards to everyone in equal amounts? Has anybody asked me what I was feeling when our sub´s looney called me castrated, impotent, a nazi or basically anything else he pulled out of his insane ass? If I had pulled off something similar , I´d be banned by now, amirite? Besides some cynical replies mainly originating in your lack of action, I kept myself back the last few weeks and tried not to stir up shit more as necessary. Has anybody taken notice of that? I doubt that.
Well, I´m just too tired from my decades of being in this "self deprecating circlejerk" (I actually agree with him on one thing...yaaaay!). Maybe it really is time for me to leave you with all of that on your own...I already was close to quitting this last week...and with the recent experiences, I think this is it for me in here. You all have to rely on your "vast experience" from now on...let´s see where this will take you in the future. Last week, I bought a fourth mare; she´s a Perlino, entirely white, with blue eyes and pink skin all over her body. And her outward beauty barely matches her inner beauty...she´s so gentle and oft. Her name translates to "Little snowflake"....and now you can take a guess what little snowflake I will be focusing my attention from now on....on her? Or ...this?!?
Bye , folks. Have a nice time...I surely will without this burden on my shoulders anymore. You´re responsible for yourself. Do something. Or don´t, it really doesn´t matter anymore. Mares and weed is all I need. Sayonara.
When I say I can't be around horses, it isn't because of some kind of "depression." That is only a label. Plenty of depressed individuals can still live functionally, and even pursue their interests. This all boils down to my physical condition. Don't be tempted to lean on only one facet of an entire individual. I know myself better than anyone else.
You have not experienced life like I have. You do not even know the definition of hardship. If you had any of the problems that I have, you wouldn't be able to care for your mares. How would that make you feel? If you want to leave this community, please do, as we don't need another idealist who thinks he knows what is best for other people.
Enjoy your good health. It truly is everything in this life.
"You have not experienced life like I have"...yeah, so what? You haven´t experienced mine either. "You do not even know the definition of hardship"...yeah,´cause you´re the only one person on planet earth who suffers. Sure. I just laughed when my mare died in my arms, after 22 fulfilling years of partnership in perfect unison with each other. I laugh when I stare at her last picture taken shortly before she was cremated in the oven. I laugh every time when I walk by the urn holding her 20kgs of ashes. And I haven´t been sitting in my house, no lights, staring at a blank wall, crying 24/7 , with one hour of sleep at maximum for nearly three consecutive months. Yeah, you´re the Suffer King of Earth, man. "Nobody knows the trouble you´ve seen...."
YOu´re such an egoistical and blind person if you really think that only you suffer. Yes, you had back surgery, but you´re not sitting in a goddamn whellchair like my sister. If you don´t fuck up your life with your suicidality, you probably have more years left than my mother...or even me. You don´t have anything that objectively holds you back from pursuing your idea of a pleasant life, except your "You don´t win the lottery, that´s why I don´t play the lottery" attitude. You say you´re depressive because you don´t have "access" to horses due to various "reasons"...guess what, more than 90% of the whole world´s population will NEVER come near a horse, will never be able to afford one of their own and have more important things to care about than just another westerner deeply bored with his life and passive agressiveness displayed at the fact that things you want don´t comfortably come raining down from the sky. Get your ass out there and try at least...or shut your mouth.
You lost a mare? I never had one to begin with. Learn to recognize that being perpetually alone can be just as bad, if not worse, than losing someone you love. And I know that most people will never be around horses, but then, I am not like most people because of my attraction to these animals. Again, you are blessed to have had good health. However, you are also ungrateful for not realizing this fact. And you call me blind? That's hilarious.
Let me also add that my life means absolutely nothing without horses.
It's your call tbh. You know I'll never ask someone that hasn't habitually broken the rules to leave because I'd be much more satisfied with ironing out the issues at that point. It's not one person causing it, at any rate. If it was just Sheppsoldier causing problems, for instance, then the community would be able to take it in stride. And if it was just you, the same would be true. You remind me somewhat of Janus, a Roman god of duality and beginnings among other things. Presiding over the beginning and end of conflict, and by some accounts, birth and death, depicted looking to the future and past. Janus was ubiquitous in their religious proceedings, and was honored at the beginning of each new year in Roman theology, regardless of the presiding deities of an area or temple. In times of war, though, the doors to his temple would open, and in times of peace, they would close.
Though, it really speaks to your own perception of the situation that you believe I think you're at the center of the problem.
True, but all activity has a chance to degrade the hardware or advance scoliosis curvature, and extended periods of even light physical activity can be problematic for that reason, depending on how extensive the hardware is. The hardware is made of stainless steel most often, since the sturdier titanium alternative is very expensive and also has the risk of impacting the bone.
That's not true, actually. Depression isn't something that can be rationalized away in its entirety(though it can be rationalized against with limited effectiveness -- forcing oneself to identify positive outcomes does have an effect, for instance), and advice from someone that hasn't received CfD training may only exacerbate the issue. That said, a strong social circle and support still has a significant effect on most people with minor and major depressive disorders alike.
Disability has a strong tendency to isolate individuals and leave them predisposed to depression, so I'd say that the 'not this' of your statement does ring true to an extent. However, his inability to interact with horses, factual or perceived, made a clear contribution if his initial discussion about it is of any indication. It's normally a combination of several factors; perhaps he's genetically predisposed as well, or if he suffers from chronic back pain which is likely, that would also be deleterious to his emotional state. Combined with the cocktail of emotional stress zoos normally face and his disability, it's not terribly surprising he suffers from depression. That said, it may not be appropriate to psychoanalyze him in his presence.
Far as I can see the old ways were the same as they are now. The community heats up, explodes, goes silent, heats up again, explodes and so on. It's not sustainable, and you know you need more than just the common thread of zoophilia to get anything done in earnest. If you interpret the community as illusory, that's your prerogative, but many people believe differently, I suspect, myself included. Getting to know you guys on a more personal level is something I personally find fulfilling, so at least on my part, it's genuine.
You said yourself that you don't get easily offended, if you'll recall. On several occasions, in fact.
Actually, I did notice, and I appreciate that you and warcanine put in the effort to change your approach on here. It's very noticeable and very much appreciated when I see it. Though, your restraint seems to wear thin as you progress in a long post. Since we don't really do permbans for disrespect, you might get banned, but you wouldn't be permbanned. We're actually quite lenient in many cases since you make enough positive contributions that we can forgive most offenses.
Shepp is on the edge right now. He's already exhausted all his warnings and his one removal in rather short order. We came up with an agreement that lets us deal with his problem posts more expediently to avoid needing to resort to bans, in exchange for being able to remove his posts at our discretion. There are some stipulations that will void that agreement, and in all likelihood he'll end up voiding it in due time, progress or no progress.
It's alot of work (and careful consideration) upholding that agreement though, and I've been falling behind on that, admittedly. Here's a snapshot of who completed recent moderation actions; post removals, approvals, etc. in response to the issue of inaction, though. I'd like to say I do quite a bit, but some things are much harder to approach than others. I established and follow a specific expectation for handling rule 7 violations, and sometimes I don't have the energy for it. I'm not going to halfass it and give shitty explanations or hand out an infraction when I'm not 100% sure it's an offense, so sometimes I'm going to be a bit behind on it. Sorry. I'm currently dealing with some stuff related to my hypoemotionality so I should be in better form soon, if all works out.
I agree with him too on this. it's kind of the problem I'm trying to address.
If this is your actual last post here, it behooves me to say that you and I aren't terribly dissimilar fundamentally. We'll both do whatever it takes to get what we want most, all else be damned. I live and die by my single goal in life, and what a life it is.
During the last few days of your absence, I’ve been undecided whether to react to your comment or not, for I was – and still am – unable to relate to your motivations to leave this forum. Now that you’ve decided to come back, be it only for a few aggressive posts or forever, I’ve come to the conclusion that there is at least one thing I have to address before you eventually disappear again. It’s the following paragraph of your comment from four days ago, in which you expand on your relationship to your newly acquired, fourth mare, which I think requires additional clarification, for it apparently contradicts some of the ethical and moral values that you used to stand for:
First, let me ask you what you mean by stating that „her outward beauty barely matches her inner beauty...she´s so gentle and [s]oft“? Is this what comes to your mind first when you think about your equine partner, the way her genitals feel? And if so, do you believe that bragging about her sex organs in public is an appropriate or respectful way of introducing her to the community? Of course, it is true that I, who has been referring to himself as a normal heterosexual man for almost his entire life, lack the experience with horses to see things the way you do. Nevertheless, if there’s one thing that I know for certain, it is that treating women with respect is what separates a real man from an uncivilized, uneducated and uncultured retard. Assuming that you basically feel the same, I’d like to encourage you to revise your comment and to introduce us to your mare in a more reasonable and respectful manner. The next critical aspect that I´d like to address is the fact that, at least judging by the intimate details on your new partner's "inner values" you revealed, you seem to be in a sexual relationship with two mares at the same time. While technically, such an approach might be ethically sound for it matches the natural herd behavior observed in equids, I still don't see why you, who has been taking a clear stance against polyamory on numerous occasions, openly admit something like this. Thus, could it be that I have misinterpreted your comment or is there a chance that you might have abandoned those rigid morals you used to adhere to? Indeed, I do not expect a honest, straightforward answer to these questions. Rather, I'd already be satisfied if my comment encouraged you to critically reflect on these two aspects.
You´ve read through many of my posts, I assume....and say, was I EVER coming across like a goddamn bestialist only interested in equine body features? When I say "gentle and soft internally" ,of course I was referring to her character, not her vulva and vagina. Did you forget I´m a monogamous zoo? As hard as it probably will be for me to NOT sleep with this all white and pink lady, but I stand by my word...and my Tinker mare. The maximum I did with my snowflake was giving her a kiss on her nostrils...and I doubt this will change anytime soon...no matter how sexually arousing this gorgeous mare is. I mainly bought her for one simple reason.. I´m a huge fan of Lipizzaner horses and saw her talent for dressage. The price was reasonable...and the first few minutes with her only assured me in extending my herd. She´s roughly 6 y.o. now but already able to perform lessons of the haute ecole, the escapade and levade are flawless. Her travers, renvers and all the other sideway movements of dressage are near perfection, her trot is easily managable, even when you increase tempo ("Verstärkter Trab/Galopp"), her movements in gallop are comfortable to sit, her "Versammlung" is already developed.... she´s not only eye candy , but a very laid back, gentle, willing to learn and intelligent mare already on a high level of training. It took me one week with her to sort things out...but I´ll be starting with her in a L-level dressage tournament in the beginning of may, roughly two months after I bought her.
Just in case you haven´t noticed yet: I´m living with three mares for about 3 quarters of a year now, have one Tinker mare, one Lipizzaner mare and a smaller mare to ensure company for the mare that has to stay home when I´m taking one of my ladies out for a ride. I´m literally "drowning in horse pussies", as some "zoos" would probably put it...and yet, I only slept with my Tinker lady. Had more than enough situations in which I could have got laid with the other two mares, but I don´t want to cheat my Tinker lady. I doubt this will be any different with lady number 4...but I´ll frankly admit I never have been tempted sooo hard. With her blue eyes, her all white color (fur and mane/tail), her almost sweet smell, her well muscled body, her curiosity (when I had her tied outside her box, she untied the knot and followed me into the separate room in which I keep my saddles and harnesses, searching for a cuddle) and intelligence, her godly body combined with a really sensitive temperament and her disarming charme...oh, well, I digressed ...;)
By the way: I had similar situations when I was working as a riding instructor. My very first mare was a blonde Haflinger and I cannot resist feeling a certain attraction to this type of horse whenever I meet a blonde Haflinger mare that hasn´t this typical "chubbyness" in her exterieur, but is well muscled and well trained, like my little Gazelle.
Don´t worry, I don´t believe in polyamory and will never give in to what contradicts my ideals. I´ve already endured some situations, not giving in to temptation although I was alone with roughly 55 mares every morning. I absolutely could have slept with any mare, but I didn´t...and I don´t see how this will ever change, even when the White Goddess of Temptation herself stands in the box next to my Tinker lady. What COULD happen is that I´ll possibly end my relationship with my Tinker mare to be with my little snowflake...but honestly, I owe my Tinker mare way too much to do so anytime soon. It was her who literally saved my life..she was there when I was at my absolute lowest point and even thought about ending my life to be with my mare again...or at least not being forced into a life without my mare. My family tricked me into visiting a selling stable...and after some rather disappointing testrides of some Trakhener mares, I just was unsaddling the horse when she was brought in from the pasture. As a dressage rider, Tinkers aren´t exactly what you´re looking for. You seldom see Tinkers or Friesians in contests, you know. And they´ll be downvoted from start on...I´ve experienced it myself ,writing protocols for the official judge ...when a Friesian came in, he literally said "Oh, a Friesian. Subtract 1,0 of the final mark". But there she was, walking by, stopping, sniffing, bumping me with her nose...a few seconds later, I was scratching her withers with my right hand, holding the saddle with my left...and with her nose and lips rummaging through my t-shirt, returning the favour. She must´ve felt my broken heart, I believe. A testride to ensure a good overall health and a "GAU" (Grosse Ankaufsuntersuchung) three days later and I was the owner of a Tinker mare...and I cannot imagine what would have happened to me without her. Although it was the most uniquely unpleasant experience to sleep with a mare after you lost your lifetime partner half a year ago, at least I felt a little bit alive again...not because of the sex, but because the horse in me came back to life.It finally felt right again...somehow. Do you really think I could ever cheat on her or leave her for another mare? And if I have to whack my dick against the metal stable door to keep me from cheating on my Tinker lady (who, btw, is also pretty pink in certain spots..if you know what I mean ;) ), then so be it. ;)
well, I surfaced here mostly for thanking u/30-30 for this comment about ...simply walking with horse. For. 6 hours. This is amazing and thanks for this detail.
Yet ....I found buying anyone (horse is this one) who you hope to call friend and deeper than friend later in life quite .... sad and self-contradicting: ( In principle, you as man of ideals hopefully can understand me on this.
But what was done is done ..just..may be you will add some self-critical reflection for some of us, readers ...so, may be future for someone will be better than you were able to live so far, starting from point of NOT buying horse.....
Obviously, there is some kind of unsurmountable barrier that prevents u/Darkspirit5 from fulfilling his dreams, and given our limited knowledge about him and his situation, I feel that it is not up to us to judge wether or not his problems are merely psychological. Nevertheless, If said barrier happened to be a mental rather than a physical one, which I am quite convinced of, there’d be no use in telling him what he should do or should have done to get his life back on track. Judging by my first hand experience with a close relative who has been suffering from severe depression for several years, your strategy of condemning his „lack of dedication“, his „inactivity“ or his inability to „take life into his own hands“ is barely helpful in his specific case. Rather, you blame him for a state of mind which he cannot deliberately control, holding him responsible for things that he just can’t take responsibility for due to his condition. While from a social darwinist perspective, your arguments might be perfectly reasonable, they lack one crucial aspect: empathy. To be honest, I also had a hard time accepting that it’s not her lack of commitment and self-control that prevents my relative from taking action and gaining control over her negative emotions. While initially, I believed that by arguing with her using arguments similar to those you have cited, I could free her from her state of apathy, I soon had to realize that depression is not another word for melancholy or a bad mood but a veritable mental disorder which has to be taken seriously. Of course, by giving you this example, I don’t imply that u/Darkspirit5 is mentally ill. Rather, I’d like to take a clear stance against the common perception that people with mental disorders simply lack the willpower to find a way out of misery, which implicitly makes them responsible for their condition.
this is one of the most hilariously bad ideas i have ever seen.
incel zoophiles lmao.
Well honestly it's not that funny.
I don't see what the point is of making fun of OP.
Because there's a pretty sad story behind such people.
In the case anyone thinks OP isn't working hard enough, that may be true, but you can easily lose hope because of depression and any negative thoughts because of a lack of love or even sex.
I second this. We do need more positivity in our community for those people, though. Negativity and positivity are both infectious, after all.
Yes, I'm sure that other people's suffering is very funny. And I'm also certain that you have never been in a position where such a community would be relatable to you.
I'm not saying you're wrong for being lonely or expressing it. I'm just saying that an entire community built around that is counterproductive and trite. instead of wallowing about your loneliness, it's better to work on finding solutions to mitigate it. with this post it seems like you are interested in yet another group of people who endlessly spout "tfw no gf".
No, there shouldn't.
OP, your idea is not as ridiculous as others say.
But I have to admit that it would be pretty useless.
Making any more subreddits for specific zoos will not get many users.
Look at /r/zoophilia's subscribe counter. 3642.
That is extremely low, especially for a subreddit.
But this is actually more of a community now, everyone knows who is who and most posts are from regular posters.
That's why we can always discuss things together and go off-topic or make more personal posts.
Even if that doesn't go well because of firey discussions.
Speaking of how small the userbase is, I wonder how many lonely zoos end up killing themselves. It is already a rare sexual orientation, and to be alone because of it is very difficult to deal with. Not suggesting that I'm suicidal or anything (even though I have the tendency to drift into a dark state of mind, hence the name). It's just something to think about.
I doubt many zoos would kill themselves over this.
Of course, there have been people who did that, but I still doubt it.
There's so much other good things in life other than love and sex.
Even though I crave for sex myself and want to know what it feels like, I know there's other things which can make me happy.
About suicide... I don't really think it's something we should think about. It's very negative and quite unnecessary. Unless suicide rates would be extremely high it would make sense...
This is exactly why such a community should exist. Why is it so hard for people to understand that "love and sex" are literally the only reasons for living? Everything else is secondary. I'd be curious to know what nonzoos would do if either one was taken away from them. I know that sex isn't important, but love? C'mon. There has to be a basis upon which to build one's life.
But I don't see the point of it, this can all be discussed here.
And all this time you could have made the subreddit yourself.
Non-zoos would probably do the same as us when they're robbed off those things. Why? Because we are also just humans and don't have a specific mindset just 'cuz we're zoos.
So that would more depend on the person.
By the way, ''love and sex'' can be less important things to certain people.
Aromantic and asexual people exist. And some other humans just prefer other things, really.
Well, I don't know what to do at this point. I could make a subreddit, even if it's only going to be me who posts there. Perhaps later on when I feel like doing it.
All I can say to this whole thing is, "The pain is mine, and mine alone." Ultimately, we all have to walk our own path.
Maybe you'd want to create a blog? Just a thought. There are a number of zoo bloggers out there, and it might prove to be a good outlet.
I don't really like the idea of creating a zoo blog.
Ah, that's understandable. I'm not big on blogging either.
I actually have never wanted a committed relationship, nor have I wanted sex. I simply have a vision that I wish to see through, and that's enough for me. Might not be the norm, but people like that are out there.
And what is that vision of yours?
Well, a utopia of sorts. Or dystopia, depending on how you frame it. But neither by design. My goal is to create a... treatment usable on most healthy mammals. It's controversial now(for pretty dubious reasons), but if it works out, I suspect that zoophiles will have a particular fondness for it. I'd rather keep the specifics to myself due to privacy concerns for the time being. I can say that the world as it is now is a tad dull to me. Perhaps it will make it a touch more interesting as well as helping others.
Well, it's always nice to have goals.
I used to have a vision too. Helping other people have better lives, particularly zoophiles. Not sure why, but it was lost somewhere along the way.
The why of such matters is always elusive. Perhaps it's simply like a spark, an ephemerality by design, some genetic mechanism to protect us from ourselves in times of hardship, something to tell us to focus on ourselves instead of our greater goals. It's quite an unknowing force, isn't it...
Stubborn determination is my wood and tinder, though, and I'll sooner die than let my goal go unrequited. And if anything of my own character gets in the way of that, I'm just as ready to tear it out. I forego many pleasures that I've the means to get, devote myself to my labors to the exclusion of so much else, and accept the dangers that come with it. I border on obsession with my goal, and that's no font of pride for me, but that means nothing in the face of what I want to do, how I want to sculpt the world. I do this one thing, then move on to the next frontier, or I die trying. I studied to become a genetic engineer, formed my career and my life around this one thing. The only real reprieve from it all now is this very community, if you'd believe it.
I don't remember how it came to be this way. Perhaps I'd lived it out so many times in my head that it simply became ingrained in the core of my corporeal soul, made instinct by repetition. But now it is what I am. I stared into the abyss of my own desire, and it stared back into me. There's a certain beauty to it all, despite how morbid failure would prove to be. A man determined to change the world, or die fighting to.
I quite enjoy these random moments of introspection, egocentric as it may sound, so thanks for that. I guess the takeaway is if you beat a goal into your head enough, it'll stick eventually.
I thought maybe it would be worth fighting for the "zoo cause," but now I'm not sure if there is any reason to. I'm still trying to understand my intentions behind it. Perhaps I just decided to give up one day, and never thought much about it again. But really, nobody fought for me, so why should I do anything for them?
Could be the depression. It tends to breed nihilism. That said, it might be best as an ancillary goal given the long timeframe we're looking at to make progress for zoos. Getting an education that can help the cause would be good though. Not necessarily activism, but law, or counselling. The more experts we have, the better off we are.
Because they'll use that same reasoning against you, if that means anything to you.
The two may seem similar, but nihilism doesn't always have to follow from depression. It is just the acceptance of what is, and nothing more. Plus I have lost all hope in humanity, and that tends to reinforce this mindset.
It's almost as if there is no sanity left in the world.
Well, there are several common definitions for nihilism, and that is certainly one of them, but one definition describes it as a philosophy of futility and pessimism.
That's a worryingly common perspective here. The problem is that the community gets destabilized by doomspeakers, in some capacity. At least, when they're common and prominent, which they have been lately. Makes people irritable toward eachother and they start having meltdowns because of it, oftentimes those people are the doomspeakers themselves.
Yeah, but there's still a moral high ground, at least, which is something. Even if they don't help, they look like asses for it when you did help them, however much that's worth.
I think people are evil by their very nature. This has been shown to me by the way they treat others. They are selfish, uncaring, and do not deserve to be helped. Personally, I would not be against the total eradication of the human population.
I've found that in the worst of times, that's how people tend to see things. I think there's only so much care and attention someone can give to others, but it's far from being a capacity low enough to be considered selfish. I think it's important to consider, though, the possibility that the issues you percieve are due to how society itself is structured, moreso than the people living in it, and while that does mean there is some evil in the world in power, I don't think it reflects the nature of man.
Not just out of loneliness, but as just another factor, probably many.
I am sure you can add a Z to LGBT in this article and it will still hold true.
Except that nobody even cares enough to try to make a statistic and the only support groups are anonymous online forums.
One could argue that the situation is worse for zoos (than for gays) with regard to aspects such as depression, because gays are at least partially accepted, and they (gays) are becoming more and more accepted by society each year, while zoos are going in reverse, getting less accepted each year. Gays are making progress, while zoos are not making progress (and are actually regressing with regard to things like laws).
Gays have places to go to socialize, such as gay bars, while zoos have nowhere to socialize, and no outlets (offline). Gays have (offline) support groups, while zoos do not.
The text you quoted says that new anti-gay laws make gays depressed, and so one could argue that new anti-zoo laws would make zoos depressed; and in the United States at least, there have been many anti-zoo laws/bills made in recent years.
Also: as shown by the text you quoted, people discuss discrimination relating to gays and their risk of suicide, while zoos are either completely ignored or treated as "animal abusers", and the discrimination and stigma zoos face is not even discussed.