I cherish the soft times with you From our first hello to your last good bye Lips and tongue tell a tale Of love undying The wonder filled soft times with you

Tippy lay weakly against my arm. A position in ten years held many times by her to bring us closer now seemed miles away. I hugged her little body tight to me and her head dropped to my chest where lay her single infant boy. Her own strength waning, she fed what she could spare to him to give life when hers was gone. My eyes soaked in every little detail of her, fearing forgetfulness after she left, and my mind wandered to the first day we met. Weak in body that day also, she fought still with a determination of mind when all said she had no chance. I saw the life burn brightly that day in her soft brown eyes, and with a hot kiss following those dark lights, she asked for just a small bit of help. So long ago, yet it seemed just yesterday! She helped me more, showing me the feeling and meaning of love when I’d given up on its existence in my soul.

There was no helping her now, just comforting and holding, and praying there was no pain. For her anyway. Still she helped me, turning from her child to gaze lovingly up at my sorrowed face. I begged god selfishly not to take her, then regretted my selfishness when I saw the weariness in her little face. She lay her head down, weightless on my chest, and for the first time since returning from the vet she slept.

I lifted the puppy, so tiny he fit in my palm, and kissed his still sightless head, then placed him gently between my side and her stomach. My hand felt her body for those shallow, shaky breaths that said “I’m still here”. As she still fought to live, I waited. Waited, I realized, for her to die and for my life to end. Selfish thoughts again, I cursed myself, but they still brought tears as we lay in our bed.

Her eyes opened, whether from need or the sound of my sobs, and as she softly licked her puppy I saw some of the old fire still burn. She trembled, her breath growing more ragged, and raised her wonderful face to mine. I leaned forward, accepting a light, barely noticeable kiss on my lips, lighting the fires of love as had her first. Her sepia eyes met mine with a sadness that sent shivers to the very center of my being. I’d never seen her sad, but be it for leaving him or me, sad she was now.

Another ragged breath, turning suddenly to a haggard gasp and my heart pounded as her head fell limp on my chest. “Tippy!” I screamed though having ‘prepared’ for this time all day. Panicking for myself, I tried to make her breath as I had years before, but her being had gone from the form. Cursing every god I knew, I raged silently for my loss and, that last kiss still burning on my lips, held her tight still un-accepting of her death.

I miss the soft times with you But will miss them no longer while you remain in my heart.

Silverwolf