I don't know what is more disturbing (self.zoophilia)
submitted 2017-04-18 02:58:18 by [deleted]

[deleted]

OS2Oslov Deer Zoo (non-active) 8 points on 2017-04-18 03:04:48

You know, everytime we seem to care, you seem to accuse us of "not understanding."

Eventually, we stop saying things because it just gets awkward.

Don't mistake that for not caring. I can relate completely FWIW. I'm at a point in my life where I basically have fatal risks if I were to have intercourse, preventing me from ever doing "that side of things."

If you think I don't get it, you're wrong.

Darkspirit5 0 points on 2017-04-18 03:26:43

Why am I not allowed to be near horses? What have I done to deserve this? Of course, you don't understand. You've had opportunities, I haven't. Pretty simple. Also, notice how I said "touch" and not "intercourse." Let me stress again that this is not about sex at all. It's something much deeper than that.

OS2Oslov Deer Zoo (non-active) 1 point on 2017-04-18 04:08:08

The liklihood of you touching a horse is probably greater than me touching a deer given the native behavior of the animals, and my circumstances.

Again, you are claiming that we don't understand, and thus proving my point.

It's something much deeper than that.

I do get it. To feel the fur of my doe again is something I would probably literally kill for. Hell, I'd do it just to SEE her. No sex. Just eye contact. Sadly (or fortunately, I guess depending on who you are) that's not an option.

Until recently, I didn't even have photos of her. I spent years trying to get photos of her. Only recently did I succeed. That joy, was unbounded... and that was just a photo. It was dumb luck that reunited us, in that primitive sense. Sometimes, time has a way of making things work out. You just have to hang on.

EDIT: I'm confused? How are we stopping you from touching a horse? The only roadblock I've ever seen is yourself. And yes, that's the hardest kind to remove, I know that personally. But it can be done given enough time and effort, and sometimes just dumb luck.

If you've been legally barred from touching horses, that's tougher, and you have my complete and utter sympathies and I too curse those who did this to you. Please do elaborate.

Darkspirit5 -1 points on 2017-04-18 04:58:29

I have never before touched a horse. Don't you get it? A vital part of my existence, robbed from me by others. I never had a chance. Given my own circumstances, you statistically have a much greater likelihood of touching a deer than I do a horse. I am imprisoned by a society that wants to see me fail. They don't wish to allow me to be near horses. And this is evidenced by the fact that nobody cares. You can say it all you want, but it doesn't mean that anyone does. I just want a chance at happiness, however temporary it may be. This is not my fault. Why am I being forced into living this life of misery?

OS2Oslov Deer Zoo (non-active) 1 point on 2017-04-18 05:01:17

I was born in the city, and met a deer on a freak camping trip I never wanted to go on. You don't know what life has up its sleeves.

If you don't think I care, then I'm sorry you think that way and there's not much else I can say.

Darkspirit5 1 point on 2017-04-18 05:21:12

The fact of the matter is that you still got to meet a deer, even if it was unexpectedly. And I'm not about to discuss this any further. As you've stated, there really isn't much more that can be said. Everything from here on out is strictly up to fate.

substallion לשלוט בי, הסוס שלי 8 points on 2017-04-18 04:24:57

Melodramatics makes me doubt your sincerity.

OS2Oslov Deer Zoo (non-active) 1 point on 2017-04-18 04:25:43

...And the cost of being wrong here makes me question your ethics.

substallion לשלוט בי, הסוס שלי 2 points on 2017-04-19 01:30:35

Ethics are an arbitrary construct created by a shitty animal species; I wouldn't put too much faith in it.

Darkspirit5 2 points on 2017-04-19 01:36:52

Ayyyyy someone gets it

OS2Oslov Deer Zoo (non-active) 1 point on 2017-04-20 20:50:01

"shitty" is a concept constructed by the same animal species, unless you actually believe humans are composed of excrement.

So you kinda just defeated your own point. Bizzare, I know, but it's what you did.

I still maintain ethics have their place. They are relative however. Perhaps that is what you are getting at.

substallion לשלוט בי, הסוס שלי 1 point on 2017-04-21 05:18:05

unless you actually believe humans are composed of excrement

They certainly have as much value as a pile of feces.

OS2Oslov Deer Zoo (non-active) 1 point on 2017-04-21 06:55:19

Again, ascribing value to things metaphorically is a human trait. My point stands.

AmoreBestia Pro-zoophile, non-zoophile. 1 point on 2017-04-21 18:39:56

Morals are arbitrary constructs (in some capacities and not in others), but ethics are not. Ethics are often reasoned systems, systems of 'right conduct', which may have significant amounts of research invested in them and generally are formed with the intent of benefiting, or preventing harm or suffering to, all involved parties. Ethics applies to such concepts as right and wrong, but also justice and crime. It is common for a company, corporation, or even small practice to have their own code of ethics, tailored to their profession or work. Ethics aren't something one must agree with to follow, as you can imagine. It is, by nature, independent of the personal feelings of the people whom are bound by ethical guidelines. While they are important for reducing liability and improving customer satisfaction in commercial settings, there are also generalized ethical systems, some being more far reaching than others.

Biotic or panbiotic ethics are simple but far reaching systems that dictate the importance of preserving and propagating all life on earth, and in space respectively, for instance. While it has understandably sparse research devoted to itself specifically, it is often in agreement with other moral and ethical philosophies in some capacity given its fundamental effect on causing suffering. Larger and more difficult to explain ethical guidelines can be found elsewhere in the field of bioethics. Bioethics is generally less philosophical and more evidenced, with biotic ethics being an exception to the rule.

Ethics and morals can be observed in nonhuman animal models(mammals, avians, some reptiles, and avians), with some nonhuman animals being able to understand and put into practice applied ethics demonstrated by humans, despite a lack of personal agreement(ie recognizing that it's ethical to wait for a treat instead of taking one). Of course, nonhuman animals may not interpret it as following ethics, but behaviors like that manifest themselves as such.

Darkspirit5 1 point on 2017-04-18 04:45:09

Thank you for making me laugh.

substallion לשלוט בי, הסוס שלי 2 points on 2017-04-19 01:38:54

It'll be a change of pace from all of your crying and whining.

30-30 amator equae 2 points on 2017-04-18 06:17:19

Oooh my god, it´s weeping time again. sigh

I´d bet my nutsac that you´d be still singing your little "I have it the worst of all" song even if people would lead their horses into your livingroom. "Oh, how unjust the world is to me....I have to get up from my comfy couch to touch a horse! Can you imagine how bad I have it?"...

And now you´re even accusing US of keeping you from fulfilling your dreams...we´re to blame because....yeah, because what exactly? And I cannot fight this eerie feeling that all this depression shenanigans is nothing more than a rather cunning attempt to find someone who finally says "Before you kill yourself, come over and you can fuck my mare for free"...wouldn´t be surprised if things turn out that way.

Depressive folks don´t have to be, but you, Sir, are an extraordinary example of toxicityand I doubt you´d be able to enjoy getting near a horse ´cause they feel the toxicity you bear inside you. I´m pretty sure you´d get kicked or bitten in the very first seconds...

Darkspirit5 2 points on 2017-04-18 13:14:19

Are you mentally challenged or something? This whole post is full of blatant assumptions. Lol at calling me an "extraordinary example of toxicity." It's another episode of the pot calling the kettle black, it seems.

thelongestusernameee lurklurklurk all day long, lurklurklurk while i sing this song 2 points on 2017-04-18 14:49:10

the pot calling the kettle black doesnt make the kettle shine again. He's an asshole, but hes right. We "all" really want to help, but theres just about nothing we can do. in person meetings are too risky, and many people here dont like sharing. If you tell me what state or so you live in i can try to find equine related classes and such, but cant you just do that yourself? Im sorry, but we arent gods.

AmoreBestia Pro-zoophile, non-zoophile. 4 points on 2017-04-18 07:15:45

We tried to help, but the relentless negativity and bridge burning makes it difficult to approach the issue, let alone sustain it. It was concluded a while ago, I suspect, that you simply aren't in a state in which we can help you. So, it's not that people stopped caring, it's that they lost any hope of progress.

And, well, I'm not sure where this whole 'keeping me from horses' thing is coming from, as I recall 30-30 offered some pretty tenable solutions despite my prior defsense of your reasoning on the matter.

Judging from your post history, you're in worse emotional shape than when you arrived, which isn't too surprising all in all, but kind of encapsulates my point: We can't help you right now. Of course, if you need someone to talk to, my door is always open, but we can only do so much. And, well, you're really between a rock and a hard place since you've proven to be strictly against getting professional help for your depression. I'm sorry you feel the way you do, but I think what you took as apathy was really just the community recognizing its limits. We aren't miracle workers, and we know that to be true.

WarCanine Love knows no boundaries between species or gender-Mᴬᴰᴬᴿᴬᴼ 1 point on 2017-04-18 07:41:54

Some people don't know how to help you, including me.
The only thing I can do is try, but that is all I can do.
But what gets me curious is that you say we do this on purpose.
If I looked at the other thread you made and it doesn't seem like people enjoy it at all.
I understand how you feel, though. I have something I want very much but I'm 99% sure it will never happen. I'd be grateful forever in my life even if it only just happened once.
I understand it's still something different compared to your situation. But I know how something like this can hurt you.
But what I don't understand is how you are not 'allowed' near horses.
When I wanted to meet horses, I just did... Hell, I even got to meet foxes and wolves so it's not that impossible.

StarliteMagnificent Horse Nut 2 points on 2017-04-18 08:31:04
Yearningmice Zoophile 1 point on 2017-04-18 11:32:44

OMG, after your edit, you... you just want us to let you at our horses.....

What the fuck??!!??!!??

Go to a petting zoo if you want to touch a horse....

You've had a bunch of great suggestions from many here and elsewhere... I mean fuck, I met a Zebra in a shopping mall petting zoo. If you can't get into a shopping mall.... you truly are beyond help.

Capturing your edit here just in case:

Edit: Whatever. I just wanted a single touch from a horse. That's all. Why must you keep that from me? Do you people enjoy watching me suffer? All I know is... my story will be remembered for generations to come.

WarCanine Love knows no boundaries between species or gender-Mᴬᴰᴬᴿᴬᴼ 2 points on 2017-04-18 12:31:07

I doubt he's asking for that.
Why would he go trough all the trouble to travel to any of you...?
He's just saying that we're keeping him from touching a horse. I know, that's very confusing and don't understand it either.

silverwolf-tippysmat 1 point on 2017-04-18 13:04:06

Yeah, we're keeping you from it. Just remind me how again?

I had sympathy for you, a lot of it in fact, to begin with, but you're just a user of sympathy. You play on it, thrive on it, and try to make others feel guilty for your own shortcomings. My sympathy is dried up boyo, and you're finally right at something. I no longer care......

Darkspirit5 -1 points on 2017-04-18 13:10:52

Says the person who was apparently given a horse as a child. Trust me, your sympathy isn't needed.

silverwolf-tippysmat 1 point on 2017-04-18 15:51:47

Say's the person who bought his first horse as a child, with money made doing barn chores, mowing lawns and delivering newspapers. Don't make asinine assumptions, they tell on you. Seriously, every-one here (and on the forum before this) has tried to help you, commiserate with you, pity you. Just what the hell do you want?

I personally believe now that you want nothing more than attention, that you're no kind of zoo and are here to do nothing more than try to create strife among the others. You're quite sad, nothing more, and will be easily forgotten.

Darkspirit5 1 point on 2017-04-18 16:58:17

I'm sure you bought the land too. Because children can own property, right? God, how easy it must've been back then. I really don't care if you think I'm not zoo, since I know it to be true otherwise. If you can't comprehend that, then oh well.

silverwolf-tippysmat 1 point on 2017-04-18 19:54:29

No, only paid the boarding fees, did her barn and feeding and grooming chores ect. Again, you assume much. Your really no worth bothering with any longer though, so I won't. Have a nice pity party with yourself.

thelongestusernameee lurklurklurk all day long, lurklurklurk while i sing this song 2 points on 2017-04-18 14:45:32

What exactly do you expect me to do? my horse teleport is down and im not about to find out where you live and take you to a horse.

If your not 18 yet, wait untill you are and make it happen. call people who own horses, find lessons, etc. What are you afraid of?

actuallynotazoophile ok, I lied 2 points on 2017-04-18 18:03:46

obviously I missed something but why do you expect us to sort your life out? Stop being a pussy and blaming everyone else and go watch the horses in the fields or something jesus...

Darkspirit5 1 point on 2017-04-19 02:00:26

Holy shit, why didn't I think of that earlier?

actuallynotazoophile ok, I lied 2 points on 2017-04-19 20:23:11

then what do you want from us?

Darkspirit5 1 point on 2017-04-19 21:07:43

Obviously nothing because you're all too uncaring. Guess I'll have to be alone in this like I've always been.

[deleted] 1 point on 2017-04-18 19:01:09

I don't know what is more disturbing

From 1) you fucking your own life and yourself up to roll around in it as much as possible, or 2) from you relentlessly getting on everyone's nerves by keeping on doing 1) and 2) even so you already learned that 1) and 2) has lost you all sympathies in other places,

I chose 1)

Darkspirit5 1 point on 2017-04-19 04:00:23

fucking your own life and yourself up

You guys are already doing a good job of that for me. Like I said, keep it up.

Battlecrops cat kisser extraordinaire 1 point on 2017-04-19 05:30:23

I agree with Yearningmice though, see if you can find a petting zoo. Even if they don't have full-sized horses they'll usually have a pony or miniature horse.

30-30 amator equae 0 points on 2017-04-19 06:54:48

Well meant advice, but I guess you´re missing the point here...for anyone willing and determined enough, visiting a petting zoo/ an equestrian tournament/ therapeutical riding stables doesn´t pose much of a problem and I´m damn sure that anyone who really is interested in horses wouldn´t hesitate one friggin´ second to do so, regardless of any medical condition. My point is: if this guy really is depressive and not playing it, no one in here can actually help him. It´s a known fact that some forms of depression also include a complete shutoff for any kind of well meant advice and you see how any single one of our proposals gets washed away without batting an eye.

All we can do is keep telling him he should get therapy from a experienced professional...this for sure is way more important than giving him advice or access to horses. Hey, Darkspirit, first therapy, then the little horsies, okay? ;) Earn it.

Battlecrops cat kisser extraordinaire 1 point on 2017-04-19 07:22:08

No I'm aware, I've been in that place multiple times myself and have known a severely depressive friend who was in that place for five years straight. I know that that's the reason he's probably not taking any advice because of depression. That doesn't mean I still can't offer an idea, since he mentions a lot about needing to at least interact with a horse. Depression affects your ability to reason and think rationally, it doesn't surprise me that someone dealing with it would view even something like going to a petting zoo as pointless or impossible. That's how everything looks through a depressed lens, and likely why he's replying to things the way he is. Everything is absolutely hopeless when you're severely depressed, it doesn't matter how logical it is. It's frustrating trying to give someone advice that will help them and they shut it down, that's how it was with my friend for so many years. But that doesn't mean we have to be rude or patronizing to him, especially when he's already feeling so low. Practical is fine, but I don't think rude is. As frustrating as this is on our end, it's not what a severely depressed person needs. I agree therapy is likely a very good idea here, but he doesn't have to "earn" anything. If he wants to go meet a horse before therapy that's his choice and he's allowed to make it.

30-30 amator equae -1 points on 2017-04-19 09:06:21

His choice? After he does not get tired to tell us how it´s not his choice? Staying polite and benevolent, after all he replied to even the most polite and sympathetic answers? If that´s what you can handle, fine...but that´s not what I want to handle at all. He´s depressive (if that´s true and not a very twisted form of attention seeking), not an imbecile inept of realising how he comes across...I´ve had the "luck" to be confronted with some depressive persons over the years, I´ve seen my alcoholic friend emotionally collapse , I´ve seen teen girls in my riding lessons whose arms were far from normal looking from all their attempts to end it (not borderline cutting!), I´ve seen my own mother experiencing massive depressions when my stepfather left her for a younger woman...but never ever I have seen such egocentric toxicity in a depressive person. This is just a little bit over the top for me...primarily the clandstine passive aggressiveness he displays lets me think that something is fishy. I´ve browsed through his posting history, I read about how things went in another "zoo" forum and I´m convinced that all your kindness, all your heartfelt attempts to help this guy are equally in vain as those made in the forum he visited proir to this one. Total futility , that´s what my prognosis of your efforts is. He won´t, he can´t ...and we´re to blame for his misery and now it is our duty (at least he seems to be thinking that) to sort out his life for him.

You don´t expect a stringent explanation of quantum mechanics from your local barber and a decent haircut from the nearest physicist, right? Frankly said, he is wrong in here...as he was wrong in the last forum he participated in. He doesn´t need "to touch a horse", he doesn´t need a zoophile forum, he first and foremost needs goddamn therapy. He needs professionals to take care of him, not benevolent, but clueless amateurs with a Mother theresa complex.

Isn´t it funny that , when dealing with this guy, you experience the same feeling of helplessness, rejection and desperation as I am feeling when dealing with the zoo community? The same amount of irrational defensive behaviour, the same level of self obsession, the same amount of demands, but not a single impulse to help me helping you? Deja Vu...or groundhog day...call it what you want, but dealing with darkspirit comes damn close to the movie Inception for me...Trying to help someone who doesn´t accept any kind of help if it´s not him who defines the terms and conditions...in a group of people who don´t accept any kind of help if it doesn´t exactly fit their terms and conditions...I definitely see parallels.Do you too?

Battlecrops cat kisser extraordinaire 1 point on 2017-04-19 09:30:58

No, I don't see parallels right now because I don't view the zoo community currently the same way you do. I don't feel helpless or desperate because of this thread, because I'm not that invested. I didn't look at his post history, I just replied to this thread because it's all I've seen. I'm not trying to come across as rude to you I promise, I'm not emotionally invested in this situation at all, I'm just also in a severe depression flare-up and I'd rather not get into an argument on a thread about a guy being depressed. I don't think it's in very good taste and I also just don't have the energy for it right now.

My advice to him would be find a petting zoo or such to interact with horses, and see a mental health professional for advice on how to deal with the feelings of hopelessness he's experiencing. Even if he doesn't want to consider medication, therapy can go a long way in helping teach ways to cope with emotions that overwhelm us.

I don't want to get into a discussion on your views of the zoo community here. You can if you want, I just don't find it a very appropriate tangent so I won't be discussing it myself.

Darkspirit5 1 point on 2017-04-19 21:15:54

Well, aren't you a bit condescending. I've tried therapy and it didn't work. So what now?

ZooMasil 1 point on 2017-04-20 04:57:30

Why do I get the feeling when you say somethings got to give you mean something that will end in some level of violence (self directed or otherwise).

Darkspirit5 1 point on 2017-04-20 05:45:53

It's all "melodramatics" as u/substallion was so kind to point out. Being deprived of physical contact with horses has really fucked with my head over time. However, I mean nothing by what I've said. After all, I am not a violent person. Consider my ranting as a symptom of eternal suffering.

savta912 1 point on 2017-04-20 12:08:10

Then you need to seek professional help first. It is a lot easier to fix the external issues when you have your internal issuee under control.

ZooMasil 1 point on 2017-04-21 03:36:16

Eternal? shit dude you aren't immortal

Darkspirit5 1 point on 2017-04-21 04:34:33

A person's suffering has a way of transferring onto others, even after he is long gone

OS2Oslov Deer Zoo (non-active) 1 point on 2017-04-24 04:30:47

You're pretty good at that, but I'm still pretty sure I won't feel it in my boots after tomorrow. Shit happens everyday dude, we all have to move on.

Darkspirit5 1 point on 2017-04-24 05:02:25

You will never even meet a horse, but yeah dude, just move on lol

And they call me insensitive. What a joke.

OS2Oslov Deer Zoo (non-active) 2 points on 2017-04-24 07:46:25

You just quoted something I didn't even say. I meant I have to move on rather than cry over your misfortune. I feel bad for starving orphans in Africa too, my heart goes out to them. But I don't weep and mope over it, and it doesn't really "transfer" to me.

Also, I feel you do need to move on, and I'm afraid that's not insensitive, though this may be considered "tough love"

I was literally medicated to the point I effectively lost the ability to function as an adult over have simple romantic thoughts about animals. I could mope about this for days... Years, decades even. Heck, I used to. At some point, you have to move on, or you go nowhere. I think I can guess what phase you are in. Hopefully you make it out of it.

Dr. Suess had this to say on it:

https://68.media.tumblr.com/8fa60d331f96285f9b2e4ed03b666654/tumblr_mfr70rQtHT1qajc4eo1_1280.png

It isn't easy. But it can be done.

Darkspirit5 1 point on 2017-04-24 20:07:44

Also, I feel you do need to move on, and I'm afraid that's not insensitive, though this may be considered "tough love"

Because you have had contact with a deer, you simply do not understand how much I'm suffering. Anything you say is null and void. It holds no value. You already had your shot at happiness, and can therefore leave this earth knowing that you at least had those few moments with her. I get no such chance. Can you really tell me to move on? Would you have done the same? How are you any different from me?

I was literally medicated to the point I effectively lost the ability to function as an adult over have simple romantic thoughts about animals.

What does that have to do with anything?

They_are_behind_us WarCanine Throwaway. Thoughts of horror grows and twists itself. 1 point on 2017-04-25 00:39:52

Because you have had contact with a deer, you simply do not understand how much I'm suffering.

What do you think he felt before he did?

Anything you say is null and void. It holds no value.

Then why do you continue to seek for help and attention?

I get no such chance.

There's always a chance.
Your chances of meeting a common animal is very high.
After all the things I've asked and after reading most of your posts, I still cannot understand why you can't simply meet a horse in your life.


Look, we're both in situations where we both think we will never experience such a thing.
I'm 100% sure that I will never experience it.
You probably think exactly the same.
And that depresses us and makes us bitter. We lose hope.
This sounds dumb, but have you actually ever tried thinking about it in a rational, non-hateful non-whiny way?
I have and have come to the conclusion that I'm doomed forever. But when I thought about your situation in a such a way I'm 100% sure you can easily get your thing done.
If people can easily come in contact with exotic animals then... well... it's obvious, I don't have to explain.

Darkspirit5 1 point on 2017-04-26 20:21:23

Look, we're both in situations where we both think we will never experience such a thing. I'm 100% sure that I will never experience it.

I'm curious to know why you think your goal is totally impossible to achieve, but my goal is somehow possible?

They_are_behind_us WarCanine Throwaway. Thoughts of horror grows and twists itself. 1 point on 2017-04-26 21:44:31

Because size differences? Please try to fit a car trough your front door.
And of course your goal is possible, it's even more possible compared to my situation even if she had a bigger vagina.
I keep saying it. I got to meet many different animals without problems. There really was almost no effort put into it, except for meeting some wolves but that's just it.
Horses aren't even rare... wait, almost any animal isn't!

Darkspirit5 1 point on 2017-04-27 00:11:04

And of course your goal is possible, it's even more possible compared to my situation even if she had a bigger vagina.

Ah, well, I'm sorry if you are upset over the whole "no sex" thing. Just goes to show how different things can bother us, and at varying degrees.

I keep saying it. I got to meet many different animals without problems.

I guess that makes you lucky?

Horses aren't even rare...

They are where I live.

They_are_behind_us WarCanine Throwaway. Thoughts of horror grows and twists itself. 1 point on 2017-04-27 08:09:40

They are where I live.

Where'd you think I had to go for those wolves and foxes?
Meeting wolves was in another country, meeting foxes was kms away.
And horses weren't exactly around the corner either but not something you could call far away.
Hopefully there are no emotions stopping you because no one will judge you just want to meet them. Except if you're just trying to go into's home, maybe.
I don't know what exactly your situation is but if your parents won't bring you around with their car then I have no solution (I'd be quite confused, too. It's a wish of yours.), but it definitely doesn't mean you'll never meet a horse in your life.
If you think we don't care, know that I'm almost as lost as you are.
And even if you think so, that's how this world works. The most important creature in your life may die and everything else continues on their own path, not caring about it at all.
I won't be helped with my problem either, even if there is a magical fairy dust that would make it possible. No one's gonna care.

Darkspirit5 1 point on 2017-04-27 16:03:02

Hopefully there are no emotions stopping you because no one will judge you just want to meet them.

I don't believe so. There was actually a stray dog that I've had the pleasure of meeting. She was so beautiful, too. When I went to pet her on the head, she jumped up on my legs, and I held onto her big front paws with both hands. It was almost as if we were having a quick dance together. This made me feel special, even for a little while. For a moment, it felt like I mattered. She thought of me as her friend. Even though we met in passing, I'll never forget her for as long as I live.

I don't know if it's because I tend to be overly emotional, but yeah... these little things mean a lot to me.

And even if you think so, that's how this world works. The most important creature in your life may die and everything else continues on their own path, not caring about it at all.

That is true. My biggest mistake was expecting others to care when they didn't have to. And the ones who did, no longer care because of my bouts of anger. As you could probably already tell, my social skills are in need of some serious improvement.

I won't be helped with my problem either, even if there is a magical fairy dust that would make it possible. No one's gonna care.

But you can still engage in foreplay with her. I understand that not having sex can bother some people (it still really irks me sometimes), but it doesn't completely rule out all other forms of sexual contact.

They_are_behind_us WarCanine Throwaway. Thoughts of horror grows and twists itself. 1 point on 2017-04-27 17:09:06

I don't believe so. There was actually a stray dog that I've had the pleasure of meeting. She was so beautiful, too. When I went to pet her on the head, she jumped up on my legs, and I held onto her big front paws with both hands. It was almost as if we were having a quick dance together. This made me feel special, even for a little while. For a moment, it felt like I mattered. She thought of me as her friend. Even though we met in passing, I'll never forget her for as long as I live. I don't know if it's because I tend to be overly emotional, but yeah... these little things mean a lot to me.

Yeah, when I'm not with my bitch, which is rarely, and I meet a dog I get all cheered up.
It's always fun having such an interaction with an animal.
Did this happen recently? Because you sure seem a bit different, in a good way.

But you can still engage in foreplay with her. I understand that not having sex can bother some people (it still really irks me sometimes), but it doesn't completely rule out all other forms of sexual contact.

That's true, but it doesn't do anything for me.
I almost gain no pleasure from this myself, or at least my dick.
Sure, it's fun seeing her enjoy herself but I don't enjoy it much myself and I believe she deserves better: actual sex.
I feel like I'm a one in a thousand with this. It's such a simple act any couple can do together, yet here we are.
I've never been so jealous of something. It has gone so far I'm even jealous of human couples because they are able to have sex.
It hurts to see people say it ''greatly improves your bond'' and ''feels like heaven.'' It pisses me off.
You know what's worse? This is against our will.
When I keep trying but fail like every time, I am extremely dissapointed but she also is.
It was really embarassing and heartbreaking for me to see her like that. She kept asking for sex, but I had to let it go and sleep.
I was embarassed in front of an animal... How?
I wish she didn't want sex, because I respect such decisions of her and if she's not into it my sexual urges magically disappear mostly. Weird, I know but if she's not into it I get turned off instantly.
Seeing people talk about having sex for the first time absolutely infuriates me. I know this is a bit disrespectful, but I'm even jealous of your future you because even you would be able to have sex later in your life. Yes, I have been thinking about that and believe you'll end up with an equine partner. But I'm not saying I don't want it to happen to you, I just want it to happen to us two, too.
I don't even masturbate much any more because of this jealousy. Not even faunoiphilia material helps.
It has even gotten to the point where I masturbated to things I shouldn't be masturbating to.
What I say next will be used against me, but I don't care, I won't hide the truth from me: I'd almost fencehop but I want my first ''real'' sexual experience to be with her. Another reason why I will never have sex with another animal before I do it with her.
I used to be not sexual at all, but that's because I kept promising myself that it'd happen. I kept fantasizing about it. I still do, a lot. I was stuck in that fantasy world and really thought it would happen so I had no problem until I realized that it's not true. It really hits me hard.
''Oh, she'll grow bigger.'' 'Till I realized I have yet to grow, too.


You'd probably think that I should be grateful because I at least have a partner.
I am, but I am also a human and for that reason I will hunger for more, especially sex. And of course the reasons above explain this.
I would be grateful forever if we could do it, I would love her way more. I don't mean to say that I her less, she's the most important being in my life. I want to hate myself for it, but I can't. I know I should but just can't... why? It's not even her fault, even she's bothered by it!
This is why I hate being a human, I wouldn't have this problem at all and I wouldn't even be a zoo.


Hopefully this didn't ruin your mood, but I had to say this some time, even if you haven't asked for it.
I guess just telling it to someone helps a little. Better than nothing, I guess...

Darkspirit5 1 point on 2017-04-27 19:31:34

Yeah, when I'm not with my bitch, which is rarely, and I meet a dog I get all cheered up. It's always fun having such an interaction with an animal. Did this happen recently? Because you sure seem a bit different, in a good way.

It happened a few weeks ago. She made me feel so good, which seems to happen very rarely.

That's true, but it doesn't do anything for me. I almost gain no pleasure from this myself, or at least my dick. Sure, it's fun seeing her enjoy herself but I don't enjoy it much myself and I believe she deserves better: actual sex. I feel like I'm a one in a thousand with this. It's such a simple act any couple can do together, yet here we are. I've never been so jealous of something. It has gone so far I'm even jealous of human couples because they are able to have sex.

So you aren't even content with just doing oral on her? You get the taste and the smell, which are pretty damn fantastic enough on their own. Not that I would know... now I feel like a useless "inexperienced person." I can't exactly relate with what you're saying, and it makes me a little jealous of you as well. Granted, I had sex with a guy, but he wasn't a dog or horse, so it still feels like I'm a virgin.

It hurts to see people say it ''greatly improves your bond'' and ''feels like heaven.'' It pisses me off.

The only thing I can say is that having sex with a guy didn't feel like heaven, and it certainly had no effect on our bond... He did have a nice butt, though, which made up for it. (I'm an ass man, btw.)

You know what's worse? This is against our will. When I keep trying but fail like every time, I am extremely dissapointed but she also is. It was really embarassing and heartbreaking for me to see her like that. She kept asking for sex, but I had to let it go and sleep.

How does she ask for sex? I'm curious. Does she go on her back and spread her legs for you or something?

I wish she didn't want sex, because I respect such decisions of her and if she's not into it my sexual urges magically disappear mostly. Weird, I know but if she's not into it I get turned off instantly.

Maybe it's because you care about her so much. You want her to enjoy herself first and foremost.

Seeing people talk about having sex for the first time absolutely infuriates me. I know this is a bit disrespectful, but I'm even jealous of your future you because even you would be able to have sex later in your life. Yes, I have been thinking about that and believe you'll end up with an equine partner. But I'm not saying I don't want it to happen to you, I just want it to happen to us two, too.

I am pretty fucked in the head. If you didn't already know this, I have mild autism as well as major depression that never seems to go away, and has only gotten worse over the years. To be honest, I don't know if I'll ever be in a position to own a horse, or have one as a partner. Not to mention the back problems... but that was already discussed. The real problem is how I'd be able to take care of a horse if I can't even support myself.

I don't even masturbate much any more because of this jealousy. Not even faunoiphilia material helps.

I feel jealous every time I masturbate to horses. Tbh, it makes me feel like shit afterward.

I'd almost fencehop but I want my first ''real'' sexual experience to be with her. Another reason why I will never have sex with another animal before I do it with her.

Yeah, I feel like my only hope of ever having sex with a horse is to fencehop. But I still won't do it, even though it's basically a tradition to have sex with other people's horses in the zoo community.

You'd probably think that I should be grateful because I at least have a partner.

I hurt every day without an animal partner, but that's just me. The only reason I'm still alive is because I want to feel what being in love is like before I go. In the end, though, everybody is different.

They_are_behind_us WarCanine Throwaway. Thoughts of horror grows and twists itself. 1 point on 2017-04-27 20:19:37

So you aren't even content with just doing oral on her? You get the taste and the smell, which are pretty damn fantastic enough on their own.

Giving her oral is one of the things I like the most, but what I'm saying is that such a thing won't make me orgasm.

Not that I would know... now I feel like a useless "inexperienced person." I can't exactly relate with what you're saying, and it makes me a little jealous of you as well.

Don't feel like that, because I'm strange. Especially with sex. And because 30-30 couldn't be less wrong with his virgin bullshit.
I don't like the fact that you're jealous, I don't want anyone to feel the same as me. If I could have real sex and did, I would probably never announce it unless it's needed in an argument or something, but I'd still shy away from talking about it.

The only thing I can say is that having sex with a guy didn't feel like heaven, and it certainly had no effect on our bond.

I'm assuming you aren't attracted to humans and weren't in a romantic relationship with him? Because that might be the problem.
I certainly wouldn't enjoy it either as I have a germaphobia against certain species, especially humans and in their genital areas. I'd feel like I'd be tainted with a curse of disgustingness or something.
These two sentences make sense, though. It's an act you enjoy together very much...

How does she ask for sex? I'm curious. Does she go on her back and spread her legs for you or something?

When I laid down she stood on my body, pointed her vagina at my face and looked at me. She also constantly nibbles in my neck, "bites" in the air, paws me and is being really forceful by not letting me escape or trying to mount me from my arm.
Yes, she "mounts" my arm so I can put my finger in her vag so she can ride on it.
At these times I really have trouble getting her off me. She keeps trying to grab my attention like that.
But since I always try to have sex in missionary position she kind of does what you said, if she's already laid down.
Funny how I'm seen as the rapist here...

I am pretty fucked in the head. If you didn't already know this, I have mild autism as well as major depression that never seems to go away, and has only gotten worse over the years. To be honest, I don't know if I'll ever be in a position to own a horse, or have one as a partner. Not to mention the back problems... but that was already discussed. The real problem is how I'd be able to take care of a horse if I can't even support myself.

I'm not exactly ehh... mentally healthy either (that's what I think, at least.) probably because of trauma, which may have the same symptoms as autism. Yet I took care of her on my own.
Poor mental health doesn't mean you'll always be a bad partner or animal owner.
I also used to be in a situation where I couldn't take care of anything.
I was young, but I couldn't even care a little for myself.
I was vegetarian and unhealthy because I'm a bad eater to begin with, I was on my computer 24/7, shit grades at school: only English, Dutch and drawing were subjects I was only good at, a total pushover, was even more mentally unhealthy (I think?), never went outside, constantly tired and I couldn't even tie my own shoes. I was 12-14 iirc.
Now all of that is gone. Mostly because I got a dog and that forced responsibilities on something I loved very much.
There was no "no" because I only took care of her.
Sure, you aren't that young but there's always a chance to grow and taking care of an animal is one of them. Not encouraging to ruin an animal's life if you think you really can't, but it really did help me.
Because y'know, horses take more and different kinds of care.
But that brings me to the next question: Aren't you attracted to dogs, too?
If so, why don't you want one?
I also have feelings for different species, although in the same family, but I actually am more attracted to foxes and wolves, yet here I am with a dog. I mean, it's not a big difference for me but maybe you feel the same.

Darkspirit5 1 point on 2017-04-27 22:51:03

I don't like the fact that you're jealous, I don't want anyone to feel the same as me.

It's not just you. I'm jealous of a lot of people who have their own animals. It's an emotion that I have to learn to control, though.

I'm assuming you aren't attracted to humans and weren't in a romantic relationship with him?

I find certain types of guys to be kinda attractive, but the emotional connection still isn't there. Actually, it was just a ONS.

I certainly wouldn't enjoy it either as I have a germaphobia against certain species, especially humans and in their genital areas. I'd feel like I'd be tainted with a curse of disgustingness or something.

I was afraid of catching a disease the whole time. It was like a constant worry in the back of my head. Also had a lot of anxiety after the fact. I did wear a condom, though.

When I laid down she stood on my body, pointed her vagina at my face and looked at me.

Oh, it's getting hot in here...

Funny how I'm seen as the rapist here...

Nah, man. Nobody is calling you a rapist (at least not in this community). You seem to be very loving and caring toward her. I'm pretty sure a rapist would hold no such feelings.

Poor mental health doesn't mean you'll always be a bad partner or animal owner. I also used to be in a situation where I couldn't take care of anything.

I'm stuck in the mentality of a young teenager. I like to compare myself to Peter Pan in this way. It could be the autism, I won't lie. Then again, I still haven't reached many of the same milestones as most people my age have.

never went outside, constantly tired

Yup, same here

Aren't you attracted to dogs, too?

Initially, I started out with an attraction to horses only. Then over the years, I began to see dogs as capable of being sexy, although in their way.

If so, why don't you want one?

I do, but ultimately, it still wouldn't feel the same as being with a horse. But then I think about how great it would be to spend my life with a dog, and how it would make me feel like I have a reason to live. My feelings are conflicted, as they've always been. Plus reality sets in. I have no money or job, and mental disorders that most likely aren't going to get any better. I don't even see myself ever living on my own.

They_are_behind_us WarCanine Throwaway. Thoughts of horror grows and twists itself. 1 point on 2017-04-28 00:00:18

Nah, man. Nobody is calling you a rapist (at least not in this community). You seem to be very loving and caring toward her. I'm pretty sure a rapist would hold no such feelings.

Well, I'm talking about the anti-zoos consantly calling us rapists.
Thought it was kind of funny how I'm being forced by my own dog into sex. Not surprising from the herd of idiots.
And well, there was one really salty person calling me a rapist in this community. Must be because I said bad things about her beastie and fetishists friends.

I do, but ultimately, it still wouldn't feel the same as being with a horse. But then I think about how great it would be to spend my life with a dog, and how it would make me feel like I have a reason to live. My feelings are conflicted, as they've always been. Plus reality sets in. I have no money or job, and mental disorders that most likely aren't going to get any better. I don't even see myself ever living on my own.

I don't know how different that is for you but since you're also attracted to dogs it could be a nice alternative, or even a replacement.
At that point you'd be busy with a dog and would be distracted.
You'd grow a big bond and it would matter less to you.
I'm not sure if you're polygamous but if you are you could later even get a horse.
But still, a dog will probably be able to fill that gap.
And like I said, there's always time to improve.
Me, other people and my mom thought I'd never live alone either at that time. And I still improved.

Darkspirit5 1 point on 2017-04-28 00:37:37

It's sad to think about such a thing, but a dog doesn't seem to be much of an option either. I just can't imagine ever getting into a position where I can have one of my own. I'm too screwed up. Fate will have to decide for me. The outcome may not be desirable, but whatever is meant to happen, it will, whether I like it or not.

I have no control over this.

They_are_behind_us WarCanine Throwaway. Thoughts of horror grows and twists itself. 1 point on 2017-04-28 12:41:28

I'd say that you do have control of this, just not full control.
You can mostly make a difference if you try.
But yes, it's still true. Life just goes on and we won't know what happens next.

OS2Oslov Deer Zoo (non-active) 2 points on 2017-04-25 06:27:56

What does that have to do with anything?

If you can't see that my tragedy is great in it's own right, and insist yours is greater, I'm not about to further your attempt to create what effectively amounts to a tragedy pissing contest.

You are really asking the philosophical question of whether it's better to be blind at birth, or whether it's better to have seen and had it taken away. There isn't an easy answer to this problem, and many philosophers have struggled with it, so you certainly can't claim you have had it worse. Sorry.

Would you have done the same?

Yes. I was actually contended to accept that before I met her.

How are you any different from me?

Dunno, but if I had to take a stab, I would guess brain chemistry.