Have any of you wanted to own an animal but not in a zoo way!? Let me rephrase or make it more clear from my perspective. Animals (Dogs for me) that you really enjoy the looks of but not in a attractive/sexual way, but still love the look of them to own love and care for. I think it's fine to own an animal (dog) on its own like that, but should I own another (dog) when I have my partner (also a dog), who I care and love? Would they be confused when I give more affection to one and not the other? Maybe it's not a great mix because of dominance issues and it could spark my partner to protect me from the other dog I would care for.
I couldn't find another discussion quite like this one.
So here is the situation. I live at home still. I have my doggy partner who I give all my attention and affection to at this point. There's three other dogs within the family that I take care of but not like how I care for my partner.
I have recently decided to get a fulfilling job so that I can move out with my partner to a new home. I really want him to have a playmate and friend when I am at work and he is alone at the house. Since he has always had friends since my family adopted him off the streets. My family loves the other three and cannot bear to separate from the others. So I was thinking of adopting a dog when I move. However, I do not think it's fair if I adopt another male dog I find sexually attractive. So I am opting to adopt a male dog that I like the look of but not in a zoo sense. I'm just curious if I will confuse the poor dog by giving more affection to my partner and not to him. I don't know if it's borderline abuse to do that. I know dogs are not like humans, in the sense that they do not see it as cheating. But, I do know that dogs do get jealous and they sulk when they don't like what the owner does. I think that's the best way I can describe my situation at this point. I have no clue if I will be able to move out once I get the "dream Job" But it seems plausible if I put my mind to it.
Also, I guess I forgot to mention my partner is sort of on different levels to the other canines living in the family. He has more freedom and more time within the house instead of outside. Though he loves the outside and playing with his little friend a lot. And the female I notice gets very jealous and territorial if I give him more attention than her when he and I are outside, So I limit my affections with him to when we are inside the house and away from the other dogs eyes. To clarify why I told you this, I am a novice when it comes to dog language, and I need all the help I can get when it comes to these sorts of big life impacting decisions.
Hard to say, depends on the individual dog. Some'll handle that social dynamic better than others.
I actually felt like I wanted one normal dog and one zoo dog times ago.
I wouldn't do it, though. I'd probably end up kissing and having sex with both, even though I'm actually monogamous. I'm just very hungry for... stuff like that. It wouldn't be fair because I don't want my bitch to have sex with another animal or human either, so I actually wouldn't do it.
Also, since I'm bi, I'd want both a male and female, so that would it even make more impossible.
My bitch actually gets jealous when I'm around specific people and tries to catch my attention by barking and biting. I can't even say a specific person's name because she'll do the same. Dogs can also get jealous of other dogs too. When I was younger we had two dogs and one was very jealous of the other when she got attention. Of course that dog kept biting her in the ass.
So your dog's personality may also play a part in this.
I'm sorry to say, but I don't think this will end up nicely, but there's always alternatives.
Get another animal other than a dog and that doesn't need as much affection as a dog, as a companion for him.
Give some really fun toys for him. Of course, this is obvious but if you give your dog many different toys there's a chance he'll get bored less quickly. Also, put on some sound for him so it's not dead silent. This will always help at least a little and will distract him.
I'm not sure what your dream job is, but maybe there's a chance that there's other jobs that you like around which may involve him?
And consider this, you get a second dog, you also grow a bond with him, and in no time you even fall in love with him. But there's one thing I'm sure of, and that's that you'll get hooked to him and maybe he doesn't have to be jealous because he's at least being treated well.
I certainly own animals I am a "zoophile" to and animals that are just pets.
As long as the way things work is well established from the beginning, it will be fine. Most dogs are ok if they arrive to a home and find that there is another animal that has higher privileges than them. They understand that the senior dog owns the sofa and the junior dog sleeps on the floor. The problem comes if they are already in the house and an animal with more privileges arrives. That is cause of trouble and jealousness.
Keep in mind that consciously privileging an animal over the other is not the best of the ideas. Try to take care of everyone of them with the same equity if possible. In my case, the way privileges are distributed is natural: my horses don't get to sleep in my bedroom, and dogs that snore too much don't either, but dogs that are well behaved are welcome. Animals will agree with such arrangements unless you make a big deal out of it or are arbitrary changing the placement of the privileges.
Why not get another male dog that is neutered that wouldn't have the urges but still show them the same physical affection and Cuddles without the sexual connotation? Like a platonic friendship.
Neutered dogs can still have a drive to hump, masturbate, and even mate. Sophia Yin actually wrote an article on the time her neutered dog tied another dog. It does depend on the individual though and probably when they were neutered, but regardless it's not a guarantee of a sexless animal.
ok, one of mine did tie with a female as well but it was very soon after neuter so assumed hormones were still in play. My 2 fixed males havent humped since so i guess "the more you know" huh? Mine are near 9yo btw lol thanks for the info.
Because neutering is unethical and shouldn't be done unless it prevents suffering or an illness directly.
It fucks up their natural beautiful bodies, and on top of that forces them to behave differently, and even worse: They can become more aggressive and fearful. (Yes, them becoming more relaxed is a myth. They COULD get more stressful because the lack of sex, but that depends on the dog's sexual urges. Still, not a good reason to neuter.)
This is probably the worst reason to neuter an innocent, poor animal ever.
I'm pretty sure OP isn't looking to abuse her dog by forcing her dog into a surgery where body parts are being mutilated against the dog's consent. But since you are a fetishist and not a zoo you probably aren't aware that consent is very important to us, and of course, our animal's wellbeing. Not to mention this won't even help.
OP doesn't have to neuter a dog in order to get neutered one. And attacking /u/POCKET11 was not necessary. You could stop two sentences earlier.
Let's not support a place where animals get spayed and neutered, now.
It doesn't matter to me, telling someone to get an already neutered one may encourage to get an unneutered one and then neuter him.
We have to make sure such a thing is prevented.
And the worst thing is that this isn't even close to a solution, it's hardly an effective suggestion.
And I thought it was necessary because we are mistaken for such people and it could have encouraged the suffering of an animal.
Ok, but you have already explained why it is a bad idea, didn't you?
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I just think it unnecessarily repulses people, never mind. After all you will do the same.
Funny you say this. My partner has been neutered. It wasn't my decision but my family's. And yet he still has the urges and temperament as if he hadn't been. But it has only been just recently since he's really opened up to me and initiates it from me.
Im fine with adopting a dog thats been neutered. It is also not an issue with me if he is still attached. I would love him and care for him either way. Ive always lived with spayed and neutered animals, so I never got to understanding as to why its an issue to neuter or spay them, well until recently. And of course, it doesn't need to be sexual, I think it would honestly cause problems and jealousy issues with my partner if I'd do that. With the new older male my parents adopted recently, my partner did get jealous when I gave this new older male affection and my partner would always move in-between me and the newer dog so I couldn't pet him. I don't know the more I think about it the more I just think it best to just be my partner and me. But it will get so lonely and dull for him when I am out working, which just aches me.. sighs. Oh my, I am sorry for the long and tedious message towards you. I need to work on shortening myself. But thanks for the recommendation and comment it has made me think a bit more.
Long messages are very common here. To be honest, yours is relatively short.
Look dogs do establish a hierarchy and one is the Alpha dog. If you help that along and new dog knows your lover is the alpha dog, then I see no problems. They may fight for your affections, but your lover is the one who should hopefully assert dominance. I'd look to see what breeds are compatible with your lover.
WolfLoli where are you from? I love these threads and how everything is so casually accepted. Its a good thing
I think some of it depends on how much human attention the dog wants/needs/expects. Some dogs are fairly aloof and don't need or even want a lot of attention. Some dogs prefer the attention of other dogs. Some dogs might want attention, but prefer different kinds of activities.
It'll also kinda depend on what kind of 'chemistry' you have. In many multi-dog households, there's one that the person just connects with better than the others and they'll want to spend more time together than the other dogs really want.
Really it's a matter of individuals and finding a good fit of personalities. Maybe look for shelters, rescues, and breeders that'll allow you to visit with your dog/allow the dog to visit you, or even try fostering before adoption so that you can get at least a rough idea of what the other dog is like and what the dynamic of living with them might be like.
When I lived with dogs (neither I had any sexual interest in or interacted with sexually, so the situation might not be exactly the same) there was one dog I just kinda 'clicked' with and spent significantly more time interacting with. I didn't have the same chemistry with the other dog, and the feeling seemed to be mutual. The dog would still seek me out for attention, but didn't seem to prefer me over others and didn't behave jealously over my attention towards the other dog.