Pt. 3
That night, Stormy safely in her stall, Jake lay in bed thinking. Ann had visited again that day, with her little girl so the child could meet the horse, and Jake found himself remembering the shape of her waist, the line of her jeans, the sway of her walking away. Instead, Stormy kept interrupting, she filled his thoughts each time he thought of love. He tried to remember Anns eyes, her face, her words, but he was drawn only to the body, recognized only the lustful attraction, and it did nothing to him lying naked in the bed. "Is that all there is" He thought, "and is that enough?" He wanted so to get excited, to feel something. To dream of sex, yes, but not alone, not with-out feeling. His thoughts left Ann, drifted back as many nights to Stormy. He thought of her lines, her flow of body, her smell, the feel of her sex. He dreamed of her running, flashing form. Her eyes indeed stood out to him, as did her being. The feelings she brought flooded his thought, and he felt himself aroused.
He remembered touching her vulva, the feelings that flooded his mind then, and returned now at the thought. He wished silently that he were a stud, and felt foolish for the idea, but became fully aroused and fantasized anyway. Studs are done so quickly though, and do not make love to a mare the way he wanted to Stormy! He thought of caressing her sex himself, of loving it and making love to it, as he'd make love to her. An hour passed it seemed, maybe two, as Jake was lost in this dream, but he found release that had eluded him earlier that night. He stumbled from the bed to the shower, guilt and shame replacing the good as he pondered the fantasy. He wanted though. He wanted to run to the shed, to replay the fantasy in real life, and it made him cringe with more shame. "I can't," He thought, "It's just not right!" Still, as he cleansed his body, he couldn't wash the thoughts from his mind. Stormy, and her alone, filled his head! He dried off and went to his bed. His dreams that night were of the burnished copper mare...
The morning came late for Jake, unusually so, and he rushed getting dressed and running out to the mare. He hayed and watered first, then released her impatient stomping to the pasture. She ran at first, then seemed to stay close to the shed as he mucked out the stall. His thoughts drifted as he worked, to last night and the fantastic, and he found himself constantly glancing at the horse. She whinnied as if she knew, hoof pawing the ground and tail swishing. He laughed at himself for that thought, telling himself she was just picking up on his own nervous behavior this odd morning, and finished his chores. His own breakfast that morning went half un-eaten, as he kept drifting off in thought to the mare. He decided, despite the distraction, to ride her that morn and give her some much needed excercise, and left the dishes undone as he rushed to the barn.
A while later, early afternoon judging by the sun, found Jake again in the shed with a sweaty Stormy. Saddle and tack removed, Jake rubbed the mare down with a coarse cloth, then carefully groomed her. Another rub-down, with a chamois this time, to finish her grooming. He hesitated beneath her, his hand momentarily caressing her tight, pointed teats. He'd not really paid notice to her teats before, but loved their full, feminine feel, and lingered there. The mare, seeming to notice, knickered and splayed me hind legs slightly. He enjoyed that from her, though he told himself she was just reacting to the touch. He moved slowly to her hindquarters, forcing himself not to rush to her tail. He wanted to savour some time there, but at the same time told himself what he had in mind was wrong. The cloth, though it took a force from him, barely touched her sex as he wiped down her buttocks and thighs. He rushed away from that and picked up a brush to tame her mane. He loved the dark red mane, streaked with individual silver hairs, and spent time making it behave before moving to the same with her tail. The mare tossed her newly groomed tail, and Jake was again captured by the sight of her vulva. He hesitantly ran a hand beneath it along her inner thigh, and the mare flagged her tail to the side opposite as his skin brushed hers. Jake, curiousity overcoming him, rubbed lightly at the pendulous bulb of flesh before his hand and the mare winked her clit into full view.
He rubbed again, more firmly this time, feeling the hard fullness of her clit as it winked again. He grew as the mares head dropped with further rubbing. The brush dropping from his free hand, he unconfined and caressed himself as he continued caressing the mare. He moved his hand rhythmically now against her, and alternated rubbing her with penetrating thrusts of his fingers. Soon both were lost to the world around them.
After, a while after, he moved to Stormys head to turn her loose in the pasture, but she hesitated, blowing nostrils at his hand and the front of his still open jeans. He felt odd standing there as the horse smelled him, and hurried her out the gate before turning and zipping his pants. "What did I just do?" he wondered, and knowing what, he condemned himself as he walked blindly to the house. The guilt kept coming to him through-out the afternoon, but every time the memory of what they'd done invaded that thought and he found himself briefly aroused again. "How could I have done that?", He'd think, "But how she seemed to enjoy it!" He'd recall! The day passed, as all days do, and the night found him replaying the moment in his bed. No shame came to him as he showered now, but as he tried to sleep it returned. The night became long in his mix of triumph and self torture till finally he fell exhausted into dream.
To be continued...
This is really good, I have read all three parts and what really sets this aside from most nsfw stuff I have read is that there is a clear sense of a plot and conflict that is entirely linked to a sexual encounter, there is attempt at developing the characters and building a situation. I have enjoyed reading this very much so far :P
Since it appears as if this multi-part story is developing, I'll throw in my criticism: Internal struggle is good, but if it is prolonged it can become repetitive and boring. Make sure to give the readers some conclusion on his relationship with Ann in the next part or so forth... It was apparent from the 2nd part that Ann was curious about Jake and why he appeared so uninterested in her, so make sure we reach a conclusion on that.
A small word of advice: be careful about the content in this prose. If the prose leans too much on the side of being about bestiality then this sub may not be the most appropriate place to post it. Although right now I think it is fine right here.
I'm surprised these stories haven't received more commentary, I personally am still going to put my 5 cents in and say that they are good though!
Thank you for taking the time to comment. This is probably the heaviest I plan to get into the sex itself, but it is necessary for the story. If you've followed my writings at all, you know I can and do write tastefully even in that area of a story.
My purpose with this story is to examine the conflict a young zoo goes through in accepting and dealing with their feelings. I think you'll enjoy where the next installment of this story goes. You've read my mind on part of it already.
To be honest, I haven’t been the most active user on this subreddit during the last few weeks, and indeed, there are several good reasons for me to abstain from the mostly polemic, aggressive and pointless discussions we have been encountering more than once here. Your frequent contributions, in turn, are always a pleasure to read and I’d like to express my sincere gratitude for your efforts to make these texts accessible to the community. Especially your „Stormy“ series has been fascinating me right from the moment I stumbled over its first part, for it draws an intriguingly accurate picture of the internal conflict that a zoophile who is torn between his sexual desire for human women and his newly discovered affection for female equids faces. In fact, while my way of life largely differs from the protagonist’s and it is hard for me to understand the culture, the views, the mindset of a young man from the US working in the agricultural sector, this dilemma is a key element of the plot I can relate to or even identify with. I know better than anyone else how it feels to confront yourself with the challenge of deciding between a human and an equine partner, for I have been in the same situation a few months ago when I almost fell in love with a young woman. Indeed, our first encounter was one of these rare moments when your subconscious seems to tell you that the woman you’re looking at is a perfect match and that you absolutely have to go for it and talk to her. I did, and immediately felt attracted to her both on an emotional and on a sexual level. She was pretty, she was intelligent, she was fond of horses – exactly the type of girl I had been looking for, at least that’s what I was telling myself. Yet, despite her unambiguous signals indicating that she’d like to intensify our relationship, no major love story evolved. On the contrary, I soon had to realize that I am unable to love anybody else than my mare, that there is no room in my heart for a second, human partner. Looking back, I feel sorry for her, considering how desperately she had wanted to be with me, and how ruthlessly I must have hurt her feelings by rejecting her, unable to reveal my true intentions… Anyway, I am looking forward to reading the next part of your story, to learn about the challenges that Jake faces struggling to accept his sexual identity, and to see if he eventually has to decide between Stormy and Ann.
I am using the horse example especially because I have no zooish experience there, though I have been a horse trainer for most of my life. I've also never faced the dilemma of deciding between a particular woman or my canine mate, though I did have to decide whether or not to become monogamous once I met and became sexually active with Tippy. I have however had many friends who've faced this choice and met it in various ways. It's good to know I'm catching the essence of the conflict so far, and I'll try to continue doing so.
Thank you very much for your comment.
"Looking back, I feel sorry for her, considering how desperately she had wanted to be with me, and how ruthlessly I must have hurt her feelings by rejecting her..."
Well, I believe you are doing a lot of projection here. I don´t think she was hurt per se by your rejection. As a riding instructor in a sport that´s almost entirely in female hands, I´ve been through a lot of similar experiences although I never ever in my life experienced any feeling for those girls and women literally coming after me. I still had to do the "No, thank you, I´m not interested" routine and believe me, it would be way more heartless to not tell them there´s no chance of a partnership happening. Women can take rejection better then men, at least that´s what my impression is. And as I said, it would be the cruelest you can do to her if you refuse to clear things and keep her at the constant level of "Maybe he´ll be mine eventually" or even worse, start a partnership you already know you´re not exactly interested in at all. If I were you, I wouldn´t torture myself over this so much...telling the truth (well, partial truth in this case) might seem cruel, but in fact, it isn´t at all.
I remember this one girl who was into me very much..her mare and mine were "pasture partners" and this girl always sat with me while our mares were grazing. She obviously had a crush on me, but I always paid attention to keep my distance from her, not only because she was 17 and I was 25 at that time. What would be any "normal" guy´s fever dream wasn´t the thing I aspired for in the slightest for obvious reasons, but to be with me obviously was hers. She even invited me to her birthday party and tried to date me several times, inviting me to the techno disco she was usually going to at weekends, we even smoked some weed together when we were sitting on the pasture. Back then, I was in a similar dilemma, on one hand I didn´t want to have a relationship with her at all, but on the other hand she was a funny and nice person, a little bit crazy (well, if you´re falling in love with me, you definitely must be...;) ) and I didn´t want to hurt her by rejecting her. So I always was struggling with this situation. Then she got more and more serious until I took her aside one day and plainly and frankly told her that I appreciate our friendship, but wasn´t interested in a relationship at all. Of couse, she was shattered after that...I felt sorry for her in a way, but also knew that it would never have worked out. I was sorry to go the "hard way" with her, she refused to speak with me , see me , come near me...all the stuff you obviously would expect, you know... Having her as a participant of my lessons, this was kinda awkward for both of us...and then she moved her mare to another stable and I didn´t see her for about 4 years. Of course, I felt somehow bad for rejecting her advances, I´m a zoophile, not an emotionless brick. I even felt some kind of guilt, thought about how I could have done this in a less harsh and more polite way. Then I went to participate in a dressage tournament (A level, two riders simultaneously in the dressage square) and much to my surprise, she was the other rider. We both rode the lessons and afterwards, waiting for the actual scores for each of us, she came over to me, still on horseback, greeted me and invited me to have a drink. We both unsaddled our mares and returned them to their trailers and then we met for a coffee and a talk. She told me that she´s married now and was apologising for what had happened 4 years ago. She also said that she first was really angry and hurt by my rejection, but then told me she isn´t mad at me anymore. She told me that she wanted to thank me for not being a dick and playing around with her like so many other men probably would have done. Now, she said, she apprectiates my honesty back then. All the time my mare was still fit to compete in tournaments, I met this girl occasionally and we always had a good time with each other..as friends. Only when I stopped participating in tournaments because my mare got too old and deserved her retirement more than anything, I lost track of this girl. Believe me, sometimes being honest and upright may seem brutal,especially when human partnership is involved. But in the long run, keeping it real, telling it like it is is the best alternative. Don´t torture yourself over your rejection. Women are tough and can deal with this quite well. Probably still a better outcome than agreeing to a relationship, having sex et al., but internally knowing this won´t last because of your real orientation.
Besides that, I think the story above clearly shows that it hasn´t been written by an experienced horse zoophile. Too much inadaeqacies regarding a mare´s sexual behaviour and obviously a human centered fantasy aimed more at "normal" humans, not zoophiles. And it especially bothers me that these stories always have to have a human female involved somehow. Hell, is it really necessary to reinforce the "Zoophiles secretly want to bang girls/women, but use animals instead" narrative? Why not without this stupid "...if he eventually has to decide between Sormy and Ann." ?
In high school, there was this girl I rode with in semi-private lessons that liked me. She was pretty obvious about it, and the whole time I just kinda let the whole thing slide without telling her anything. I was slightly emotionally absent every time I talked or did anything with her, but enough that she still believed that I could be into her. I didnt express emotions to make her believe I liked her nor didnt like, so she went on for 2 years just trying to get closer to me, despite my constant dodging of everything. To this day I havent told her anything, probably not a good idea on my part. I basically friendzoned her as hard as physically possible. Her friends would always question how I wasnt her boyfriend yet, and mention how nice we would be together. She even had a big banquet for her 17th birthday, and gave me an honorable mention in front of tons of people and had me sit beside her the whole time. Yeah I probably should have said something, our relationship got as far as it possibly could without being personal. Its been 2 years since that ship sailed and I moved to college, I still havent told her that I didnt like her haha.
Yeah I fucked that one up... I dont talk to her anymore, but im pretty sure shes furious at me lolol
I appreciate the comments, and I personally agree with most of what you had to say. I'd remind you though that this is FICTION written from the POV of a totally inexperienced zoo. Though he knows horses some, he is not experienced with them sexually (In this he is like I am. I chose the horse mainly because I am a canine, not equine, zoo).
I included a human female because I suffered a similar dilemma with my first canine mate. I was, and still am, somewhat attracted to human females before her. I'm trying had to not make the story read as an "I couldn't fuck the human, so fuck the horse instead" narrative, so will re-examine what I've written based on your concern, but to not include "Ann" would lessen where I'm trying to go with this. The idea is to show a young zoo in the stages of accepting that he loves the horse and not the human, and learning to both accept that about himself and learn to truely love and not just use his new mate.
As I said above, based on your concerns, I review what I've written and if I'm missing getting that view across in the plot, I'll either rewrite the project or abandon it all together.
Thank you for the honest reply, and critique. I really do appreciate it.
I've reviewed what I've written and fail to see where it conveys that Jake must have sex with the horse because he cannot have sex with the human. Quite the reverse as a matter of fact, he has the opportunity to have a relationship with Ann but chooses not to.
Nor do I find he is leading her on. The story hasn't developed to that point actually, nor is that in the plot for what hasn't yet been written. He only recognized her interest briefly and for the first time as he was lost in watching Stormy, after she had already left. Given time beyond that, anything may happen.
I believe you are reading things into the story that do not exist.
Thank you for your kind words and for sharing your views with the community. While I agree with most of what you’ve written, I have to inform you that based on my first hand experience as a heterosexual, your assertion that "Women can take rejection better then men“ couldn’t be further from the truth. Indeed, most young women nowadays still have a conservative mindset when it comes to partnership and love, thus requiring their male counterparts to take the active part in the "mating ritual“. Accordingly, the chance of being rejected is disproportionally higher for men than for women. Of course, you haven’t been through this due to your sexual orientation, but for most young men, failed attempts are inherent to the process of finding a partner, meaning that rejection is somehow perceived as „part of the game“ rather than as a catastrophe. Young women, in turn, especially those who are pretty enough to pride themselves on their „market value“, are often unable to deal with failure and denial in a mature way, simply because they are hardly ever confronted with these issues when engaging in a relationship with a man.
With regards to the last paragraph, I’d like point out that the internal conflict that Jake faces adds another layer of complexity to the plot and especially to the protagonist’s character, making the storyline less predictable and more compelling than if it were reduced to a love story between a zoophile and his mare. At least that’s what I think Silverwolf’s intentions were when he wrote his story. Besides, I don’t see how the plot enforces the "Zoophiles secretly want to bang girls/women, but use animals instead“ narrative, for I believe that the exact opposite is true. Indeed, I believe that the story can be broken down to a „A Zoophile is not necessarily a retarded outcast who uses animals for sex, but might turn out to be a normal young man who is in love with his equine partner despite having the opportunity to enter a relationship with a human woman“ narrative, that it draws a positive image of our sexual orientation and that it is designed in a way that might even appeal to an audience of unbiased and openminded outsiders. At least that’s my personal opinion on the matter. Concerning the perceived inadequacies in Silverwolf’s description of Stormy’s sexual behavior, I’d like to ask you to be more specific. The only potential flaw that comes to my mind is that mares usually don’t respond to a mere rubbing of the vulva in the described way, especially when they have never been manually stimulated before and are thus unable to anticipate what might happen next.
I´m not so sure about the "added level of complexity" here. Im my opinion, the whole set, culminating in the last sentence of "deciding" is misleading. Yeah, I agree that I might not exactly have the best perspective as I never felt anything beyond friendship for a human and can´t really relate to having sexual feelings for bipeds, but that doesn´t eradicate the feeling of being misrepresented by stories of this kind. I know these stories mainly are written for entertainment purposes and not so much to enlighten normal people about zoophilia, but I think that stories like this one , especially when they add humans to the equation, can and will form the normal peoples´ views on zoophilia.Adding a possible "normal" human relationship and making the protagonist have to "choose" between animal and human only serves the normals´ usual view towards animals as substitutes for humans. Just take a look at George Willard a.k.a. Mark Matthews a.k.a. The Horseman: he basically is a textbook example for what I criticise in the story above. Maybe it´s because of him and what his book, his appearance in Animal Passions and everything else he said and has done why I´m so sensitive about it.
I do see why this "struggle" between human and animal attradtion seems so important for many, but seen objectively, this only adds to our already Mariana trench level public image and you can be assured that normal people won´t ever feel any sympathy for this "struggle" in the way it is intended by all those writers, quite the opposite is true and zoophilia as a true sexual orientation that doesn´t give you anything to decide on your own is once again damaged in Average Joe´s eyes. Instead of the targeted "Oooh, this poor guy is torn between this woman and the mare!" , stories like this rather invoke a certain hostility in normals and questions like "If this guy actually can feel love for a women, why is this pervert molesting the poor animal?" and " Why should I see zoophilia as a sexual orientation that isn´t acquired when this guy actually can CHOOSE between normal and perverted?".
I guess it´s the usual problem our community has to struggle with, the limited perspective. Just because a zoo considers it a struggle when he has to "decide" between human and animal, society don´t necessarily has to think the same. Emphasizing this "struggle" , as many members of our worldwide community often do, is actually detrimental and inevitably gives the impression that zoophilia isn´t really something that´s in you and can´t be influenced. The moment we display zoophilia as a decision, questions will arise why we "choose" animals although a "normal" life for us would be possible when we simply have to "choose" the other available option. In my opinion, we should put an extra emphasis on the fact that zoophilia is NOT a matter of decisions. In the eyes of outsiders, this actually matters alot. The usual accusations of "you´re just a pervert that made the wrong decision" are valid if we as a community reinforce this over and over again.
But let´s not digress so much: just one thing I have to mention. As zoophiles, all we put into the public is dissected for inconsistencies. Just search for some of Michael Kiok´s or Oliver Burdinski´s interviews and see yourself how important it is to give a consistent and congruent picture...and what unfavorable effects it has when the offered picture lacks consistency and congruence.
Regarding the flaws within this story , you already pointed out that mares don´t just wink from touching thier vulva. That is a correct observation. Winking always is a result of internal "stimulation", plus winking is NOT necessarily a sign of sexual arousal. Winking maybe is the one thing that´s constantly misunderstood even by experienced "zoophiles", but let´s not waste time on something I have explained in multiple threads over and over again. Instead, let´s look at the udder/teats thing in the story. Being one of the very few instructors who actually teaches his pupils COMPLETE hygiene routines, udders/teats included, I happen to know that only a tiny minority of mares allows their owners to touch their udders. Many mares who are not used to it will retract from it or even lift their hind legs to fend off the annoyance "down there". And even if they are tolerant to it, inexperienced (as in inexperienced in having sex with a human) mares won´t link "udder play" with sexuality at all. My mare knew from years of experience that me touching her teats was part of foreplay, but that took us both quite some time to manifest in her. The chance that a simple touch will be identified as something sexual isn´t high, and in inexperienced mares actually is zero. Also, the description of the udder as full and round doesn´t match reality. Sure, udders vary in size according to a mare´s estrogen cycle and can be quite "saggy" in one week and a few days ahead , can be fuller, but what is depicted in the story can only be seen in pregnant mares who are about to give birth to a foal. Another thing to mention: as I have understood it, the "equine groping" took place after the mare was running. Mare vulvae usually aren´t a thick lump of flesh after working out, quite the opposite, they are longer, loose and very thin compared to the normal appearance due to exhaustion and relaxation. All the descriptions just don´t match with the story.
There´s also a huge disappointment in the overall "procedure", the human "tits and cunts" perspective is dominant in this story, but mares are different from that. Scratching their withers or the top of the butt is what they´re into way more than being touched by their udder and vulva. In this story, there really is a focus on the human perspective of sexuality and I really don´t know what to think about this..my scepticism should be understandable when you think about what I´m trying to get into the heads of every zoo in here: you have to become a horse to rightfully have sex with a horse. I haven´t read many stories like the one above, but ´m pretty convinced they are more or less basically the same, with all the same flaws, human misconceptions of animal sexuality etc...
Basically, I identify this story/stories as exaggerated HUMAN fantasies and I´m not exactly sure whether this is beneficial to our community and public image in the way the authors of these stories intend. Someone who reads this may be mislead into thinking that being with an animal is "just the same as" being with an animal, but it isn´t. Stories like these also create certain high expectations in inexperienced zoos due to their idealised nature. And last but not least, stories like these absoultely fail to impress outsiders who incidentally read them...I´m not trying to force anybody to cease writing stuff, but I´d expect them to give it a diligent and thorough thought before they put out their stuff, especially placing an extra focus on the possible perception in normal folks. I remember coming across a term that fully describes my scepticism towards these stories; in a German forum, someone called these stories "Sodomitische Halbprosa" (sodomitic semi prose) and somehow , this term felt totally appropriate to me. As I said before, each and every one of us is some sort of ambassador to our orientation and everything we put out there is scanned for all kinds of inconsistencies and flaws. All our stories, all our texts, all our anything should be created with this in mind...or we´ll just open up another battlefield with the normals and, as it has happened with animal porn, hand over lots of ammunition ourselves to our enemies.
I've read this, and will again a bit more closely. I do feel however that you are projecting things into the story, on the human being included. I feel this is because you yourself are not attracted to them. Many zoophiles, myself included, are however and have made the choice to follow their love for their non-human partner despite that. This is what I'd hoped to project in the story, not that he HAD to, but that he WANTED to. I read Mark Matthews work, and was disgusted with it. I'd hoped to show something different here.
On the udder touching, my reference was one mare I owned who did in fact like her udder rubbed and washed, though my experience in general is indeed likened to yours.
On the winking from stimulation of the vulva, I used one video out of my rather limited research That mare was probably more experienced and may again have been an oddity.
Again on the udder, I've known some whose udders have been fuller than others, and used them as a basis for stormy. One mare in particular is her basis, and her udder is.
I am actually glad you got the impression of a human pushing out a fantasy in Jakes concentration on the udder and vulva, as that is exactly what I'm trying to say in the story. Jake is a very inexperienced young man, who has not had sex with a horse in any way and is in a learning process right now. Even experienced horsemen/ dog owners have to learn what a mare or bitch actually want and enjoy.
The story again has not developed very far yet. I do not believe it is an unfavorable depiction of a zoo struggling with his identity, though not based on my own journey and apparently not on yours. It is based on the struggles many others have told about. We seem to be in the minority in this from all I've read.
I'm continuing to review my story based on your comments, and will keep them in mind if I continue the project, and again thank you for the honest opinions. I get that seldom in regard to my writings, and this project differs majorly from what I normally write.
silverwolf