I have been going over it in my head for sometime now and I was wondering if I should come out to my mom.
I trust her, but I am worried about how she will react as it is very much a taboo to be a zoo. I found out I was a Zoo around the same time I found out I am also a furry (non-anthro is my preference. This is also known as feral) which isn't as big.
Any advice? Note: I am 18 if that is any help.
EDIT: Thanks for taking time to respond. A little more info on WHY I want to come out. I am very close to my mom as I have high functioning Autism and ADHD so I rather suck in a lot of social situations.
Another reason is I feel like it is something she should know. I mean she has caught me watching zoo open but probably thinks I just watch whatever I can find.
That was true but as I watched it I realized it was different than watching just humans. I even started watching animal mating videos. Even I wrote it off as being a horny teenager going through puberty. (Sorry if this is jumbled and hard to read. I have trouble organizing my thoughts.) Now I know differently. She wouldn't care IF I had things for her to read. Zoophilia is just seen as wanting to have sex with an animal but it is more than that.
The only issue is I am attracted to dogs. I am also attracted to dolphins, but you don't see people roaming with a dolphin on a lease for obvious reasons.
If anyone has more to add after this please don't hesitate!
Wait until you're in stable, independent living conditions, and be prepared to articulate the finer points of zoophilia(esp things like romantic attraction and breaching topics of consent and such). It would probably be wise to test the waters a bit by discussing different elements of the topic as a third party first, just to gauge how she reacts to the general idea of it. No point in causing the both of you more grief if she's vehemently against it, after all.
We have had a few threads recently on coming out, make sure to search the sub for them, im sure many users have put their own valuable input there.
If I was to make a bare bones decision on whether or not you should come out, taking into account basically nothing at all other than your age and who you are coming out to, I would say no. Ultimately the safest verdict, and the one that I think most of this community agrees on is for one to NOT come out, the potential negatives outweigh the potential positives.
I realize though that there is more to it than that. There are many factors you need to consider before coming out; amongst them, some of the most important being your relationship with your mom and how bad of a negative outcome could occur and if you would be able to handle the consequences. Only you know your mother, only you can determine most effectively whether or not you should come out. You should also think of how much NOT coming out will hinder your day to day life. in other words, is there anything that you are holding back on doing because you have not came out? Your mother could also be protective towards the animal your attraction is directed to. If you come out is it possible that your mother will feel a particularly bad inclination towards your attraction because that certain animal species means something very dear to her (say she owns a lot of dogs or is very loving towards them, she might give a worse reaction than usual if you tell her you're attracted to dogs)? Do you or your mother own that species of animal such that your mother might attempt to cut off interaction between you and that species?
Some more personal advice: Tell her in person and when she is in a good mood if you are gonna do it. Make sure she recognizes both the serious nature of your coming out, yet also understands how this will impact (or more likely wont significantly impact) your life. If you can dont spill out all you have to say at once. Take it slow and explain things carefully as to make sure she doesnt misunderstand you. The last thing you want is for her to believe you are interesting in abusing animals. Finally, avoid telling her the animal at first, if she asks, save that for later. By doing this you make your attraction less psychologically tangible for the person, it seems less severe in a way. Additionally this also gives you the chance to see how your mother reacts without potentially reaching unnecessary consequences like contact with a particular species being relinquished.
Good luck to you, and once again make sure to check out some of the other coming out threads, I know there were at least 1 or 2 that you can check out!
Should you? No, especially not at 18. There's a lot that can go wrong, especially if you have pets, especially if they are sexual/romantic partners. At a young age when you're likely not in a very stable or independent position it's better to not put something like that on your 'permanent record', so to speak. It's going to be hard enough to get a job and a house/apartment without rumors and allegations about bestiality. If you're seriously considering it, here are some things to think about before you do anything.
First do research on laws about bestiality in your area on as many levels as possible. In the US this means federal (none), state, county, and city. Also look into cases in your area and see what happens, what kind of evidence is needed, and what the outcome is likely to be.
Do you have pets currently? Coming out could result in them being rehomed if you live with your mom, regardless of if they're sexual/romantic partners or not. More violent reactions to them are also possible. If you don't live with her, it's not impossible that she could call law enforcement or animal control. If worst case scenario happens you could lose your pets and possibly have them euthanized. If you plan to have pets in the future, it's not impossible for her to sabotage this.
Are you independent enough to be able to handle possibly being disowned? If you're receiving any support from her (living in her house/apartment, assistance in paying for your own place, healthcare, paying your tuition, etc) think realistically about if you could handle that being pulled. If you ARE completely independent now, is this a stable position? Shit happens and do you have a backup plan that doesn't involve family if you lose your financial stability? Family is also a big support and social system for a lot of people and that can be lost too. Because of your age, this is probably going to be the biggest risk to you personally and the one that's most likely to happen.
Do you work with or plan to work with animals? You might lose this if she reports you to your workplace. If you're going to school to work with animals and she's helping with tuition, that support might be pulled.
Some things are more likely than others to happen, but there's always a chance for the worst possible outcome. Figure out what that is, how likely it is, if that's worth it to you, and have a solid plan for if it happens.
AND if you are in a state where it is illegal, bringing family members in on the secret could make them accessories or accomplices to your crime.
Not... really? Unless you're telling them that you're doing illegal things and having them assist you in doing illegal things. Thoughts and feelings aren't illegal. It also has to be a felony and not a misdemeanor and you'd have to get convicted yourself.
unless you have the means to move very far away without anyone knowing if things go wrong (they very likely will), i say no. You could loose your pets, your friends, your family, possibly your job... You'd be surprised how deep some taboos go. If your family is religious, it could be even worse for you.
I was found out at around 18, and to this day, more than 10 years later, it's still fucking my life up.
your situation COULD be different, but are you really willing to risk it?
I was found out at 13 :D My mom just cried and then she forgot about it.
To this day, less than 10 years later people don't give a shit; :| even my boss knows, I'm not sure how people manage to find out, sigh, I might be too casual about it. I honestly haven't faced any discrimination at all on that basis so far, sometimes I get support, which is, surprising to say the least.
I'm not sure if it's a good or a bad thing, because it makes me very careless; so don't listen to me, listen to the guy on the top, that result is more likely, I just got a weird situation so I just thought I'd share, but I'll follow the top advice.
Don't risk such a thing if you're going to have an animal in the future or have any animals living with you.
What is more important: You having a little feeling of relief, or a big chance that you'll get an animal taken away from you and killed? (And of course other extremely bad things such as not being allowed to be near animals, losing your job, etc.)
As a zoophile, learn to keep your things secret and live with it. Zoophilia already holds many risks and you can easily prevent this one by being responsible and reasonable.
By the way, I am also 18 and this fucked up my life in a way. My mother is extremely anti-zoo.
We've had so much arguments about it and she brought up from time to time to use it against me.
She even threatened to report me if I even talked again on this sub. And if she ever caught me in the act? I won't give too much details, but let's just say I'd have to fight for my life, get the fuck out and never look back.
I'd lose my future career, I'd lose everything I own, I'd lose all respect and most importantly: If I lost my dog because of it? I'd lose my own life.
You're not me, but that story could go similar if your future jobs will involve animals or if you're don't want to live without your animal.
She used to be fine with the fact that I kissed my dog or even ate from the same plate, but her ''antiness'' developed over time and started judging me for it. Again, luckily for me she's been very tame and hasn't brought it up for a while.
No matter how much you think someone will accept zoophilia, don't fall into the trap your own mind has set. You can NOT and NEVER read minds in any ways. You can't ever know what they truly think, not even if they hold a sign in their hand: ''ZOOPHILIA IS NOT WRONG!''
By the way, I recommend you to be pessimistic in such situations. Why? Bad does more bad than good does good.
Look at everyone else as if they are anti-zoos by default. Always.
One last thing: Coming out is quite ridiculous.
What do zoophiles do most of the time? That's right: Preventing getting caught and keeping their identity secret. You must realize that you're doing the opposite of that when you come out, and that already shows how this isn't exactly a smart idea.
Let me ask you this way: Do you have to?
Is it anyone's business what your sexuality is? What's the meaning of telling someone who or what you love, besides the creature it's meant for?
Identity? Scrub that off really quick. No one cares for someone's sexual or romantic identity, unless the very second they hear of it. And even then, to some that's simply TMI region.
As a lot of the other comments rightfully say, I strongly advice against telling anyone.
A little something that isnt entirely related to this:
People will believe what they want to. And sometimes, the truth/what's logical isnt part of what they want. And sometimes, there isnt a damn thing you can do about it. Denial is a really powerful thing.
Not to your parents. I would sooner confess to some random person I just met rather than my parents.
I also side with "don't risk it."
If it must be done at all - I have not and don't plan to - I'd say you should only consider it when you're not only completely independent and have been for a few years, but also when you have had more time to get more of a feeling for that identity and what it means to you.
What good do you expect to gain from it?
Too much risk, be satisfied with having a community to express yourself in.
Uhhhh... I would not tell your Mom this. It obviously depends on your relationship but remember you can never put that genie back in the bottle. Once she knows... she knows, and even innocent interactions between you and an animal will be filtered through the knowledge you're sexually attracted to them. It's probably not anything your parents need to know.
If you really, really want to try and come out, you could try gauging her response to zoo or similar taboo topics. Cases of incest between siblings separated early in life, for instance. Or just go right for it and mention you were reading about people who had a genuine romantic attraction to animals (WEIRD right? :P)... If she thinks it's messed up you can just shrug and say 'it doesn't bother me', and know it's probably not safe to come out.
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Yay another furry zoo w
I don't really have any tips, just wanna let you know youre not alone
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