I am not zoo exclusive regarding romance, emotional love, or sexual connection. I would call myself a romantic, and do require at minimum an emotional connection with those I'm intimate with, both human and non-human. I've never been one for "hookups", and have always become friends and equals before lovers. I also tend to compare out, which is a thinking error on my part. I see how "happy" and "fulfilled" others are on the "outside", and wonder if I will ever see something similar. I regularly rescript those thoughts to accept that what works for me only works for me.
The experience and strength I seek is regarding how each of you may have navigated through self discovery regarding what works for you and your relationships. What brought you to a place of peace, if any, regarding your identity? How do you manage connections to others while still maintaining healthy boundaries? What inspires you to grow into who you are proud to be?
I acknowledge I may get some "Don't tell anyone" or "Stay quiet and to yourself" or "I'm all I need", and I respect if that is your experience. I know for me, having a variety of spirits I love, and am open and honest with, is essential to my mental and spiritual wellness.
Thanks folks. This place is such a valuable resource to me ❤️ Sorry if this is all over the place. Emotions tend to skew my cognitive expressive skills LOL
###This thread is in NO SALT mode!
Please be aware that rule 7 will be enforced more heavily in this thread and all disrespectful or derogatory comments in this thread will be immediately removed pending a report and moderator discretion.
Disrespect is defined as anything, intentional or unintentional, that appears to be meant to offend, shame, harass, or otherwise derogate another individual or group, within /r/zoophilia or without.
This does not include observations or fair criticisms whose verbiage is not inherently inflammatory and can be reasonably inferred or verified in some capacity. Potentially inflammatory opinions that are clarified as such and are in posts not intended to be inflammatory are not infractions. Our definition of disrespect is not meant to infringe upon freedom of speech, and if you think a post was wrongly marked for infraction, you are free to appeal it in a reply to a moderator's comment.
If you're unsure about whether your post has dangerously high sodium content, submit a modmail with a copy of your comment. We will tell you how to keep your comment heart healthy when needed.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Strange question, but I want to make sure: You're a male... right?
Yes
Any particular reason? Just curious ^.^
It was always very easy to tell if someone was male or female on the internet, but you're an exception.
No problem with that at all, it's just how female-like your behavior is and don't see stuff like this much. But I guess that makes sense, because you're gay and not bi, right?
I've met a few gays, and they always seem to act more female-like.
I am gay. And I think I take your thought as a compliment ❤️ I have found that regardless of orientation, some people more so fit in the feminine or masculine columns, as defined in our culture. I am an empath, which sometimes is perceived as feminine. I think this also lends to the distance I keep between me and the online community. I sometimes feel like an oddball in my emotionally heavy relationships. Us romantics can sometime find our partner and live blissfully unaware of the rest of the community. But for me, I really enjoy exposure to other spirits and how they live their lives.
Thank you for your honest appraisal 😊
It... wasn't a compliment. (Nor an insult.)
But okay then. That... optimism and happiness scares me greatly, though.
I'm sorry you feel that way. I've lived most of my life in sadness and depression, and I still do some days. But I try my best to change my thinking to reflect reality and not run with the feels all the time. But that's only helpful for me. Everyone is different 😊
Everyone is different, just like how everyone's luck is different! 😊😊😊
Life is so beautiful, there's absolutely no war and suffering in this world, there's only peace bro!!! ✌️✌️
I haven't heard of that depression and sadness thing you mentioned, it's probably just a scratch or something that'll heal. I mean, I was insulted for it here so I guess I can just shake it all off I guess! Yep, totally did!
Shocking, right? 😱😱😱😱
But hey, you mentioned reality!
Oh reality is so beautiful that it makes me warm my heart! 🤗
Sometimes I think there would be such a thing as humans destroying everything on earth, including your life and happiness but that's probably a myth! Such a thing would never happen right? 😊😊
Luckily I live in a big ass mansion in Japan, surrounded by many beautiful animals and plants all around. I'm enjoying day and night 100%! 🏌
MAN I AM SO HAPPY I'M BAWLING MY EYES OUT OMGG 😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊
This just totally made my day ^.^
I'm glad you enjoy my suffering too.
I hate myself and humans so much I started enjoying my own suffering, even!
See? I knew you had it in ya to hate others. All humans have an evil side, doesn't matter who.
Man, my own message made me cringe. I hate smileys.
Adding that to my ''Things I fucking despise'' list.
I in no way enjoy your suffering. I found some comedy in the reply, and not as a judgment on your current situation.
I completely agree. Humans are capable of great beauty and evil all at the same time. We can build art and structures for enjoyment and sharing, and destroy and kill for one simple disagreement.
I've always believed that I can't hate someone and know their story at the same time. I may disapprove of decisions, or not understand, but if I find myself hating, that's my side of the street.
When you know a human's story, you have all the right to hate them even more, especially if their story involves things like unethical acts.
And that's funny, because I assume that humans I've never met or talked to before are useless yet evil.
I'd give you an example of a human you could definitely hate, but I wouldn't want to take your happiness away even though I'm jealous of you.
Although I say my jealousy for your is different, I don't despise you for it because you aren't a horrible human and won't say I don't deserve what I want so badly.
^^^^^^^^'
^^^^^^^^'
^^^^^^^^'
Sad thing is, I just regret that last sentence because I've felt this way of others before. I will always find a way to hate someone in a way after a time.
I could like someone for years and one discovery would make me hate them.
I guess it's lucky that I haven't found a bad side of you yet, or I just forgot it because of the damage to my mind.
I appreciate you sharing this all with me. It speaks highly to you as a person. You have damage to your mind?
And feel free to PM if you'd prefer this off thread
Oh no, I was complaining about life like usual. It's nothing.
I'm completely fine, because that's how I am. Well, I mean that's how I am now.
And that damage? Just forget about it, like I do!
You are loved.
And I'm almost thinking that I may have hit my head sometime in life very hard because I think like this, but sometimes when others care about me I get annoyed.
In fact, it sometimes makes me cringe or even feel ashamed, almost as if I dislike positivity.
It's a common issue that's often attributed to upbringing. Your family situation doesn't help either, nor your depression. It's something that you can reverse with some time and effort, though.
Well it doesn't matter to me that much anyways. I've always felt ashamed of certain things the common human isn't ashamed of.
In fact, I'm too ashamed to name certain things I'm ashamed of, because I'm ashamed of my shame.
More normal than you think.
Getting involved with other people is a really efficient way to end up on this list: https://8ch.net/zoo/res/2159.html
But best of luck to you, please be careful. Personally I get enough human interaction during my working hours, I am more than content to be alone with my dog and my thoughts the rest of the day. My siblings and childhood friends who now have spouses and families are all divorced, miserable or both. I have never ever told anyone about my sexuality, but some old friends have come close to figuring it out so who knows what they say behind my back. In any case, they are still friendly towards me although we have drifted apart when they started new families and now rarely ever talk.
I really appreciate the response, and the advise regarding personal safety. And I find it a helpful reminder that what's on the outside of a relationship doesn't always reflect on the inner workings. My relationships are always changing, and I try to keep in mind that it isn't a judgement on me as a person ❤️
Thank you!
Hmm. I don't know if I'll be any help to you, but I'll try to give my experience in as short a way as possible.
I've had many human relationships, and more friendships. I've had a few zoo relationships too. I just never felt the need to discuss past ones with current lovers. I couldn't see any purpose in it. I am a "one at a time" kind of guy too, which makes it easier yet.
I never felt fulfilled completely though, till I met Tippy. With her, I didn't care if I had human lovers, so I didn't.
On friendships. Again, I saw, and see, no need to discuss my bedroom or romantic activities/ partners with my friends. When they ask why I'm still alone, I laugh and ask why they're still married, engaged, dating etc. It usually ends the grilling.
It's not hard to maintain friendships/ social interaction and still be a zoo. It gets hard to date and be one though. Since Shadows death, I've tried dating women again. I compare them too much to Tippy and Shadow, and other past lovers though, and the dates usually fail because of it.
I'm happy being alone though, but I'm 54 and set in my ways. I doubt, reading over this, that I've helped you at all, and I'm sorry for that. I hope some-one here can.
silverwolf
Did you know your username already shows up before your message even begins?
Most of the time we only need to read your username once to know it's you.
Yeah, I know, but my username is kinda long and squished together, and I've always ended my posts everywhere with my name. Again, set in my ways. Besides, it's polite.
silverwolf
It's very readable, so quite pointless.
Not sure how it's polite at all, but okay then.
But whatever, your choice. I guess I should expect myself to be even more annoyed when I read messages here.
Not everything is going to be how you specifically like it, on here. I think it's helpful for people writing replies in particular, they know immediately that silverwolf is enough. One of the fun things about online communities is the different writing styles. Eventually, you know their writing style enough to know who wrote things without seeing their username.
Do you think the name for my writing style ''The very limited voculabary.'' fits?
Writing styles can't be named accurately, and no.
Yeah, first style here I have learned to identify was 30's. Tons of text, so much material to analyze.
How to recognize him:
I dare you, remove all the usernames and you'd recognize it so easily.
Heh, thousands of "..."s is part of my style too.
I appreciate it. Adds some additional personalization to the post. Feels just a little more like a discussion 😊 Thank you silverwolf
Thank you for this, and I value the relationship between Shadow and you. I totally agree with keeping my intimate life private. And I'm very blessed to have several close friends and a human partner I can talk with about this aspect of my life. And thank you for the giggle regarding being "set in my ways". hugs
Dogsoulmate
I've gone through some recent developments on this, so my perspective may be somewhat skewed. But I'll give you my process, basically, and let you decide its relevance to your situation.
I was helped along, in part, by finding a decent therapist and dealing with it as just a part of myself, along with various family and emotional issues. Now, it may take a few tries to find one compatible with your personality, but it can be useful to have advice from someone professionally sworn to secrecy. Just make sure you don't give the impression that you endanger animals in any way, because they might feel the need to report that to the authorities.
Another helpful thing, for me, was finding a hobby that is completely unrelated. In my case, I do community theater, which is accepting of freaks and geeks so long as you're helpful. It not only helps to be social with people with a common interest, but it allows a slow buildup of friendships which can be relied upon for emotional support.
Finally, though my case is absolutely atypical, I found a confidant through furry dating who is uncannily similar to me. If you're lucky enough, finding a local zoo friend is a wonderful release valve for your emotions about dogs and zoo issues. As has been previously mentioned, it's also a great way to end up in handcuffs, and so should be handled with extreme caution. But it's helped me, so I would be remiss not to mention it.
I really appreciate taking the time to communicate what has worked for you. I find having a hobby and local folks helpful, and have moved away from both. Thank you so much!!
[deleted]
Thanks for the thoughts! I have some very close friends that have been beside me trough everything. A dozen or so know that my Dane is my partner, and they respect that. Only 3 non-zoos know about the intimacy we share. I have 0 rejections as well, and I believe that is in part because the only ones I've told are those who have loved me regardless this whole time.
I am so appreciative of all this feedback. Reminds me that what I "seek" when emotional is sometimes already present in my life.