To the zoo exclusives folks, how are you guys happy with life without having a relationship that you can only get with humans. (self.zoophilia)
submitted 2017-09-17 01:03:44 by Cuba5555
I am asking because the realization hit me hard how I will not experience deep emotional relationships that people have with each other since I do not find people attractive and am only attractive to animals. I have been with women but a relationship can go only so far when you have no interest in your partner. I am in my early 20s and it seems like everyone I know are in these happy relationships, my family wondering when I will I start showing interest in women and bring a girl home. I have been depressed for the last couple of weeks wondering how can I be happy with my life and keep up with everyone around me. I finally decided to ask you guys since there is no one or place to go to. So what advice can you guys give me?
You could say your asexual. That would keep most people from probing you. I wouldn't let most people know that you are a zoophile.
I think you've got a false-dichotomy here, it isn't an either/or situation. I'm an exclusive, yet I have a deep meaningful relationship with another person....we're just not into humans, so it's always platonic.
I think it'd be fair to say I love him, not in the sense that I'd want his dick or he'd want mine, but in the sense that I want his life to be as good as it can be. I want him to be happy and to live a good life, and I'd be devastated if something happened to him. Your relationships don't have to meet anyone else's standards, they just have to be what you and you partner(s) find acceptable.
That's an observation bias, they've got their problems, have their days when they think they're trapped or would be much better off without the other. These are normal feelings, just like feeling that you're missing out. It's easy to see all the details of your own life because you're there and you get the whole of it, experience and thought, of which you only get to see a small slice of anyone else's.
Really think about the life you want, explore all the details, and make plans to make those desires real. Take big goals and break them into manageable objectives and work toward those. It won't happen overnight and always be willing to stop and re-evaluate WTF you are doing. Our desires change over time, your plans will too. Oh, and don't worry so much about what anyone else is doing, that's their issue.
What he said. There are lots of kinds of relationships that don't require sex.
I know sex isn't necessary for a good relationship but they do consist of some messing around. Like hugging, cuddling, kissing,etc. You know what separates a girlfriend from just a friend. I get disgusted doing these things with people while it's the opposite with animals. So it goes beyond just sex,
We do none of that; we are good friends who enjoy one-another's company. We work toward our mutual advantage and do our best to enjoy ourselves in the process.
I have friend with a relationship like that. He isn't a zoo but knows I am and understands. Who knows how long it'll last since he'll eventually find someone and our relationship won't be as good by then. That is what I am worried about since he is the only person who knows I am a zoo and is my best friend who I can go to about it.
So meet more people! :P
You just have to be open to the idea and kinda watch and pick people who look promising and compatible. In that regard, it's just like serious dating where you're looking for someone who's compatible in the long haul. There's always the chance things will fall apart, it could happen with my relationship, it could happen to anyone. There are no guarantees in life, you have to work with what you have, seek out what you want, and work towards building the life you want. It's a bit of work in that you have to accept that they have faults and accept that you do too and you have to work together or it won't work. That's why it's important to consider many options and be selective.
Search for people who have just enough interests to have things in common with and just enough differences so you can each maintain your own individuality and personal life. There are tons of folks who'd be compatible with you if you work at it; I've had friends as roommates for most of the past 30 years. It makes life easier when you have someone you can rely on when you need them because you've had to stay late at work, had an accident, or something else and the dogs/horses/chupacabras need feeding and you can't be there to do it.
If it's something that interests you, try it. If it doesn't work out you go your separate ways and find someone else who's more compatible.
It is harder when you're young. Str8s tend to assume that any two young people sharing a house are having sex. But I have done it for years at a time.
I think some of our "normal" friends think we're gay and realistically, it's better that they think that than they think we're fucking the dogs.
I'm so close to my buddy everyone thinks we are gay together. I can see since I hang out with him all the time and haven't had a girlfriend in years.
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easier said than done, but if you can find a fellow zoo you really get along with well .. certainly the romantic things aren't there, but a strong friendship can go a long way to filling in that missing mental/psychological component you don't get from a relationship with an animal.
i stumbled (more or less) into my situation by luck. found someone online, chatted over the course of a year or two, decided to meet, decided to meet again, etc.
To clarify: being a zoo "exclusive" does not mean you have to live your life as a loner in wood cabin far away from other humans.It just means that any emotional attachment beyond a friendship level isn´t possible with humans. As an "exclusive" myself, I even doubt that these "deep emotional relationships" between humans are actually what you call them.
I never felt the lack of these "deep emotional relationships" as I had exactly that with my mare, so I cannot quite follow you in your perception. I never felt "limited" in my love for her and heavily doubt that there´s a "superior" form of love that only can be executed and experienced by humans.
That brings us to two points: 1) You wrote "...everyone I know are in happy relationships.." Yeah, so what? You know, there´s no time scheduele that you have to obey to. THEY might be in happy relationships, but THEY are THEM, not you. At least that´s what I thought by myself when I was in the same position as you are now. Since I was 15 y.o., realising what I was, I knew that my life would not just be a little "off beat", but I had to obey to an entirely different beat of the drum. So, don´t let anyone or anything pressure you into that, in the end, it´s YOUR life, not theirs. By the way, that´s the same general attitude you should adopt to solve this "When you´ll gonna bring home a girl with you?" stuff from parents and family. Since reaching my puberty, I always treated such stuff by replying "When I feel ready for it" or "In the moment, I have so much hassle with myself and my life, I simply cannot have another person beside me right now" in the beginning and later, i shifted to simple silence when asked such things. When I turned 25, these "relationship interrogation scenarios" totally ceased....mainly because of the fact I had already bought my mare 3 years ago and my mother noticed a fundamental change in me. It was her very first attempt to address the whole "relationship issue" when she said "I noticed how much you have changed with this horse. You´ve become calm, relaxed, friendly, opened up to people a lot more. Your horse does you good..." , and from that moment on, I swear she already knew everything.
There´s absolutely no need to get depressed over this. You just have to realise that these uncomfy questions have no negative intent behind them, they´re actually signs of concern for you. Normal people believe in norms, whether we like it or not. And according to these norms, you should have had a girlfriend already. You always have to take into account that outsiders like your family simply cannot know what situation you´re in. Try to see things from their perspective, they don´t want to put more pressure on you, they don´t want to harm you, they just don´t know how to properly react to such a situation. My best advice: just stay calm and don´t let stuff like this hurt you. Keep quiet when possible and vague when you are forced to react. An occasionally dropped line like "Well, would you please not interfere with my private life?" can help also. But never forget that you probably be worried too when you had a kid in his/her twenties that never had a girl-/boyfriend, wouldn´t you? Shifting one´s perspective tremendously helps to deal with zoophilia your entire life, always seek to understand THEIR position, not yours only.
Maybe when I find the animal for me just how you have your mare for you, I will forget about wanting a deep relationship. I fully accepted being a zoo a couple years ago and have not tried to forms bonds with one yet since I live in a really small town where information gets around quick and everyone knows each other. I am mostly worried about family finding out since they hate and despise zoos. We are a really close family that do anything for each other. I just worried if they find out it'll take the turn for the worst.
Hate to break it to you, but I doubt you´ll forget about "wanting a deep relationship". As a zoophile, relationships with animals should be deep. As a zoo, you aren´t supposed to search such a deep relationship in other humans because you find exactly that in an animal. And if you can´t see how this is equal to deep human relationships, it´s very likely you haven´t properly understood what zoophilia really is. But anyway, one thing I can assure you will be better than any talk with family members is being happy with your animal. I mean, really happy, fulfilled and content with life. "One picture says more than a thousand words"... When I finally admitted to my mother that my mare is my partner and my love, she only said "I already knew that some years ago. I´m not blind." I´m not saying this always will turn out like this in different families, with different individuals and different settings, I just say that showing them is always more powerful than babbling about it until ears are bleeding. Nonetheless you should know that becoming more and more independent from your family is obligatory as you grow up. Even if things turn out for the worst, you´ll still have to get along with it and continue living YOUR life. I often thought about what my life would have been if my family wasn´t so supportive...and I always end up thinking that it probably wouldn´t have changed much for me. Maybe some things I achieved would have taken longer to achieve...but I would have ended up at a comparable point in my life.
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You are right I don't fully understand zoophilia, I am fairly new to it accepting I am a zoo only a couple years ago. Closest relationship I had to a animal was my dog who was one of my best friends. He was family and honestly a part of me. Him passing away was one the hardest things I had to go through. I had more feelings for him than any people I dated.
Fine. You don't have to have sex with a human to have a relationship with one.