Why is that link linking to a pdf?

Interesting... The download is giving me an error on mobile so I'll have to check it out once I get home. What was your inspiration for writing it?

I just read your screenplay....and quit reading after the first third of it. You should have listened to your friends. It´s incredibly cliché , and not at all about zoophilia.

Okay, so i guess ill just write as I go along:

I think saying "I've thought about sex from a very young age" is a little too jarring to open with given the already known context and what you allude to in the following scene.

Chino is a super cute name and i also think you should provide more context to their relationship ex how long shes owned him and whatnot. This might happen later idk yet. The whole chino morphing into a guy thing is kinda strange lol giving me the impression that hes more like just a "filler" till she finds a boyfriend.

I like the lack of focus on the dog bit for now. Gives her more of a full character without much prejudgement to load up.

She should give that dog a lil table scrap from her dinner, rude little girl. Or i just spoil my boys too much lol.

Baby socks? Lol. What a prude.

And then going though people's stuff and being a perv at someone elses house, is that a common thing people do? I guess I did dumb stuff when i was young but ehh...

Haha nice with the camera.

Dog peen takes quite a while to go away if that scene were to be more realistic lol, just sayin'

I feel like this drone is alluding to something about peeking into her room.

Yep there we go. Awkward... Maybe some more time between the two scenes? Idk, just seemed like it happens pretty fast.

Ok, gotta leave work now. Im interested in finishing it and ill edit more in when i do.

Edit: Ok here comes the heavy half it seems. By the way you've spun the story it hasn't done nearly enough imo to get the viewers to see things from Lydia's angle. Like I said, more context to the full scope of the relationship of what she has with her dog would help bring mover viewers over to her side. Little things like the table scraps, or her walking her dog, exercising with him(in ways more appropriate lol) and maybe even him defending her from some creepy douchebag walking him at night or something to that effect. Otherwise viewers simply won't be able to relate to the crushing weight of what has happened to her. Oh, and you also said Lydia instead of Minnie when you wrote "you can stay out here and freeze for all I care"

As of page 73, the rest of it is pretty good, seemingly realistic for a small conservative town. I like the "tough love" aspect from the coach, as she doesn't seem to give a shit either way and is expressive of it. If you were to incorporate more of Lydia's interactions with Chino in the beginning her having to go through things alone and do other things to fill her time would be an extra tug on the heartstrings. Not being able to take her dog for walks or going to bed completely alone. Like because yeah she's missing the sex and the general companionship but there's "ritualistic" things like that that I'd be so torn without personally.

Zoophilia is only recognized as a disorder if accompanied by another disorder according to the DSM-V IIRC. Just a little tidbit that could be important to offhandedly educate viewers.

I have a bit of a beef with the can't-consent bit(obviously lol). I like the story and spirituality of how she explains it all, but I think it's not being nailed home quite right, because dogs can consent to the act itself despite not knowing the full scope of what could happen in the world it is living in. Yeah, he didn't choose to get locked up and almost-euthanized. But a dog can consentually run into the woods not being aware that he could get attacked by a cougar or some other animal as well, because they are beings that live in the moment and take reality as it comes. And come on, who can say that dogs don't hump legs and try to get off even without peoples' consent? It happens all the time. Fact is animals like the feeling of orgasm, humans included. Dogs don't have any biological or "social" reason to have sex outside of producing a litter, but it does not mean that they do not enjoy the act and feeling of sex itself. That's kind of a big misreading/misconception of the whole study done on animals and sex. I think what needs to be drilled into Lydia is that it isn't just her dog but the family's dog, and her level of recklessness nearly ruined his position as that, as he obviously means a lot to Gunner as well, etc. That being said I think the end with her giving him up though hard is the most right thing for her to do due to that same reasoning. Mom's still a bitch though. It's a complicated hypothetical lol.

Overall, this is not a "game changer" plot(no offense lol) but the controversy it sparks mixed in with the complete normalcy of Lydia as a human being could do much I think to shape the minds of viewers towards people who are zoophiles. My biggest gripe is what I mentioned there towards the end, with the ultimate lesson for Lydia being "Animals can never consent" rather than "He's not just your dog to have consent to this."

Also the whole flames and the cucumbers and tomatoes thing seemed a little extra and didn't seem to stitch nicely into the whole drama of the film. I think those bits are unnecessary. I guess it may be there to give readers the impression that you aren't necessarily taking the drafting of the screenplay super seriously? I think it would be more powerful if the energy was expressed through the actors and not through cheesy overlaid animation.

Another edit: I was just thinking of an idea due to a comment by 30-30; what if she had a friend, maybe even Megyn, who who was aware of how much she really loved her dog but was privately okay with it? I personally had several friends growing up(whom are still my friends) that are aware of my dogs' and I's relationship, despite having no inclination towards it themselves. It could add a bit of a "foothold" for the audience to be like, okay, this is a person that obviously knows this girl and despite her odd tendencies doesn't condemn her for it even though maybe she doesn't understand it, and could maybe make Lydia more relatable in the sense that she forms those sort of tight trust relationships with people. You could then spin it into the dark half of the story for an even more gutting betrayal of friendship when although she's fine with it privately, she goes with the cultural consensus of judging her for it once the word gets out. Betrayal is something a lot of people can relate to as well so I feel like that would tie in nicely and also add more depth to the plot. Just an idea though.

"Plus, he never lies. He doesn't cheat

on me. He doesn't make me feel stupid

and hate myself. That's the real

reason. I love him. And he loves me.

And I'm not apologizing for it."

Maybe explore this path, show the difference between dogs and humans, if you want to make this play something that makes people think, then I'm pretty sure showing those things. I think it would make people think about it more than "oh its a sex deviant" That's if you want to make people think about it.

Might most likely continue reading it in offtime

[deleted]

I too read only the beginning late at night yesterday

Hypersexual child? Check

Estranged parents? Check

Strict religious "education"? Check

If you want to tell a story about the cliche how "rebellious" teenagers "turn to" zoophilia, you're on the right track.

That ties in with what someone else quited

Plus, he never lies. He doesn't cheat on me. He doesn't make me feel stupid and hate myself. That's the real reason

Zoophiles are often just normal people who happen to like nonhuman animals in that way. There don't need to be "reasons" to "explain" why someone is sexually attracted to animals, sometimes people just are.

That quote sounds oddly familiar. Have you been doing some "research"?

It's really weird to me how the entire climax revolves around Lydia being a rapist but still winning. It doesn't bother me that the movie runs on the idea Chino can't consent, but you giving Lydia everything she wants, saying Chino can't consent, but never dealing with the repercussions that Lydia's, by the script's logic, a rapist does.

Chino gets pawned off and gets no real resolution beyond missing the character you say is a rapist (without saying the word rape, presumably because you're a pussy). There're no scenes actually exploring the possible damage Chino's suffered, how sexual habits may've developed into a problem or how he may or may not interact with people, nothing. Because Chino doesn't actually matter as a character. He just exists because you think bestiality is a novelty premise and shocking, not because you had any interest in exploring a story or the characters. Lydia can be a rapist without real repercussion because Chino's not really a person...even though the script's entire hook needs us to invest in their relationship for the drama to work. But Chino's well-being never actually matters because we never see any ramifications of Lydia's actions from Chino's perspective. Chino exists solely for Lydia to be a sarcastic, quirky lead whose rape is brushed aside because she's super good at sports.

Fuck you. Don't even bother rewriting this. Throw it in the garbage and quit your fucking job for being a rape apologist. If you're really a professional, nobody who's ever hired you has had taste. This is legitimately the only script I've ever read that's made me hate someone as a person just for writing it. I've read a number of screenplays, both produced and unproduced, and this is easily the worst one I've ever read. Gross, disgusting, and for none of the reasons you intended. I hope you didn't feel clever writing this, because you approached this with all the tact of a sledgehammer crushing a baby. You wanted to write a sex scene between a seventeen year old and a dog and you couldn't even fucking bother to commit to a fraction of emotional reality, you gross asshole.

If you really wanted a zoophile's opinion...well, you've gotten them before me, obviously, but here's mine: the fact you don't care about the dog as a sentient being and merely as a prop for your dumb, "quirky" coming of age rape apology movie makes you a dumb shit. Your script is not clever, and this is so embarrassingly tone deaf it doesn't even qualify as a first draft. This is just bile vomited out of your ass.