My dog, my lover, died. Need help processing. (self.zoophilia)
submitted 2017-09-28 19:35:17 by throwaway9857643
As the title says. I had a 5 year old rescue of indeterminable breed, female, and the stupidest smile you could ever see. I loved her, and she loved me. She would eat me out on occasion, always initiated by her, and I never forced her to do anything but take baths. Last night she ran out into traffic and got hit and died. I buried her in my backyard. Her name was Princess Bella and I miss her, not only as a pet, but as my lover. This is the only place where I can be honest about the relationship we had. Please help me get through my loss.
Edit: Thank you everyone for the advice and condolences. It still hurts like someone is stabbing my heart and twisting the knife, but you have helped me so much. Thank you.
Oh baby 💗 We love you so much 💗
She sounds like she was an amazing partner.
I’m so sorry, what an absolutely horrible thing to live...
This is not the kind of thing you will get through easily, and that’s perfectly normal. Just.. let you be sad for a while, cry and don’t hold it back. If you can, speak about it with the people you love, it can help even if they don’t know you were in love with her. Eventually it will get easier, but until then be strong and think about her.
Nobody can help you get through this. Only you can ease the pain of losing her.
You must feel awful. I remember when I had to give my horse away and it was very painful, but nothing comparable to a death.
Each time I lose an animal I loved, sexually or otherwise, I tell myself a simple phrase:
"Put those memories in your heart."
Yes, I've lost quite a few now, and yes my heart has grown quite heavy over the years... The memories, when I recall them, they nearly always bring tears...
But I make myself anyways.
Why?
Because I believe if something is remembered, then something is still alive. I'll remember them as long as I can. I'll tell as many about them as I can.
Yes, it hurts to do this. And no, it's a hurt that never entirely goes away...
But then I remember why I am hurting, and it makes me smile... for that small moment of respite from the pain makes it all worth it.
I won't pretend to have all the answers. But this helped me. Good luck.
This is such a terrible, terrible situation. I feel massive empathy for you, as I can't imagine losing one of mine.
She was loved, though. That much is true. She was the happiest a dog could be when she lived with you. The fact that you called her princess showed how much you cared for her. This is sad news.
If you're able, care to show a few pictures of her?
Part of what's hurting is the fact that my phone had been destroyed just a few days prior, with all the pictures I had of her. She was the most beautiful puppy, even when she was covered in mud and dirt (which was every moment she possibly could). All I have left is stains on the carpet from when she was still learning how to be housebroken.
How destroyed?
I ask because frankly, knowing a thing or two about cell phones, recovery may still be possible.
I lost most pictures of my lover (35mm kind) minus one on a Kodak Photodisc I recently rediscovered long ago. I wouldn't wish that pain on anyone.
Fell off a pier while we were walking around the beach. I was stupid and turned off automatic back-up because I had pictures of the two of us interacting and didn't want them to be accidentally found or leaked. I don't care now. I would rather her still be alive and me being a social outcast for being a zoophile than the way things are now.
My condolences; I've been through it myself and it's miserable. Nothing I can say or do will make it any better, but at least know that you're not alone.
One mistake I made was to try and surf through the emotional rollercoaster of grief on my own; I don't recommend doing so, the support of a community can help make sense of the worst times.
[removed]
[removed]
[removed]
I agree with AmoreBestia.
You are the one acting terrible.
And no, I am not useless. Your actions are decidedly useless however.
YOU ARE SUCH AN EVIL HUMAN BEING.
YOU AND THE OTHERS THAT DO THIS.
I've never seen you snap like this before. It makes me curious as to what was said, but at the same time I feel like maybe I don't want to know.
Basically a copy-paste of the removed comment
What is?
YOU ARE SUCH AN EVIL HUMAN BEING
YOU AND EVERYONE ELSE ON THIS SUB or something along the lines of that.
It's funny because they were more evil instead because that's just really fucking sick and disrespectful, and little did they know we're all technically at least a little evil too anyways.
Woo, what else is new?
Yeah, this is what I like to do. I copy part of their comment and adjust it to suit my needs. That said, what they posted here was reprehensible, especially given the fact that they basically spat in OP's face at a funeral.
I can't even begin to imagine how you feel, and the sadness and loss that must be so present in your life at this moment. You and Princess Bella have something special and beautiful. The love you share at this moment is the same love that was present before, and the same love that will fill you as you move forward. She is still with you, filling your spirit and heart. She will be beside you through your grief as you learn to live separate existences. As you grow in life, she walks behind you, pushing you forward. You won't always feel this way. Tomorrow may be harder or easier, but it will be different. But I know she's wagging that butt to help you live a healthy life, stepping one paw in front of the other ❤️🐾
It's going to hurt for a while. The stronger your love, the stronger your loss. It's okay to feel that way for however long you do. It's okay to keep mourning.
We'll be here for you if you need, to try our best to be understanding.
Been there. Twice...
It still hurt, despite it was several years ago...
You'll never forget. Just try to only remember the good time.