Since admitting to myself I am attracted to sheep I have become severely depressed. I am disgusted with my thoughts. Obviously going to a therapist is out of the question. I don't want to end up lobotomised in the psych ward. I don't think I can deal with this alone, and I can't talk to anyone without risking what's left of my life. My friends and family don't love me, they love the carefully crafted mask of a normal person I created for myself. I know for a fact that none of them would even try to understand were I to share this secret with them. They would cut me off in an instant as collateral damage in order to maintain their social position. Nobody wants to be around a depressed person, and nobody wants to be a friend or family member of a sheep fucker. I have become bitter, self-loathing and misanthropic since making this realization. I want out, but I'm too much of a coward to do anything. So instead I'll rant on some desolated subreddit. This is all so absurd I should be laughing.
/r/zoophilia archive
Damn, are you me?
Let me just say that you are not alone. I am also still a bit disgusted with my attraction to canines, but you have to understand that the disgust you feel towards yourself is only the result of years of conditioning in a world that is hostile to what it sees as sexual deviations. As long as you do not wish to cause pain and suffering to living beings and if this is truly what you seek, you'll have to come to terms with it eventually or you will always be in conflict with yourself. Don't let this fucking society turn you into your own enemy, you already have enough enemies as is.
You only have one family and I firmly believe that they must love you at least a little bit. Friends come and go. If you don't like the ones you have, fuck 'em. Friends who don't want to help a friend in need are no friends at all. I'm not saying you should confess your proclivities to them and expect approval, but if they can't even support you through depression, they are simply not worth your time.
Unfortunately, this is something you'll have to deal with on your own for the most part. Thankfully the Internet is there, so another loser like myself can pretend he cares about you through an online forum. Hang in there. I know it's unfair, but there is always an off chance things will go for the best.
Maybe that disgust is supposed to be there? People disgusted with shit, puke and insects have quite a few evolutionary advantages over those who have no inhibitions. Why would I even be attracted to sheep? It's cattle, a food, fiber and labor source. It lacks the necessary level of cognition to be a potential romantic partner. And yet sheep are strangely beautiful, in their own way.
From what I experienced so far people pretend to want to listen, then use anything you told them against you sooner or later. I learned from my mistakes and I will never let someone see me in an emotional, vulnerable state. My family is of the self righteous, holier than thou type, morbidly obese yet quick to cast judgement on the queers. And a potential sheep fucker is worse than any queer.
It's a fucked up situation, but I feel a little bit better knowing that there are other people like me, as selfish as that sounds.
I like to think it's pointless to wonder about the biological implications of why you feel attracted to such or such things. Maybe science will one day offer a compelling theory of why some humans feel predisposed to engage with non-humans, or maybe zoophilia will forever remain in the realm of mental illness like it currently is weighed. But does it really matter in the end? We are men of the 21st century. We live most of our lives completely disregarding our instincts and biological functions. Who cares about what instinct we are supposed to be have or not? Should it stop you from seeking what makes you happy?
I understand where you are coming from, but I think the comparison to shit, puke and insects is a little bit unfair. These things are known to be vectors of disease. Societal conditioning alone certainly isn't what made me think putting shit in my mouth was a bad thing. I don't think I can say the same about sex with animals. Some cultures in human history were far more lenient (and some still are today) towards zoophilia than most of the Western world is today. This leads me to believe it's a cultural thing, and not an inherently human thing.
Why do you poison the well? I admit that I don't know much about sheep, but why wouldn't they be good romantic partners? What makes them so different from us? Sure, you may be way smarter than them, but is it your intelligence that gives you the power to love? If you'd ask me, I'd say intelligence is as a matter of fact what turned us humans into such hateful creatures.
Easier said than done, I know, but get better friends. Even if it's not for emotional support. Not all people are like this. I'm sorry about your family, but if it's any comfort I'd say that not many of us can count on the support of family to go through this. My mother is actually fairly open-minded, but her finding out about my propensities might just be the worst nightmare I could have.
All the questions I ask are for you to answer for yourself. It begins to be easier to accept if you try to let go of all the preconceptions and all the other bullshit society has pumped in your brain over the course of your life. I can only speak from my own experience, but I'd advise you to not to try to reject it. I have tried to reject it for more than half my life and it has truly made me miserable. I don't believe zoophilia is learned and I certainly don't believe it can be "unlearned" without making one deeply unhappy.
Think for yourself and listen to your heart. As cheesy as it sounds it's the best advice I can give. Feel free to PM me if you want.
That disgust is caused by religion. Religion has brought us to the sexual strain we have today. If you look up "Bonobo Apes" on Google you'll see a creature completely sexually free, and that is most likely how we humans were once, till religion fucked us up. Since we humans are sexually stunted till we are adults, we suffer. Spend some time searching online and you'll find what animals do when they are not able to act on their sexual needs with their own kind. They seek out anyone who will participate with them, be it same gender or another species of animal or even a human.
Sex is not just for procreation. It's also for pleasure and bonding with others. The whole sex is for procreation only BS is religion talking.
find people you can connect with, but not share every single interest with.
your sex life is yours and does not need to be the only thing that defines you. this unusual valley of partial acceptance will pass once you fully accept your self as an individual, clearly you have not fully accepted this version of you because your using a burner account. but if you have any other questions i would be glad to offer support and answers.
Of course it's a burner account, why should I allow people to dismiss everything I write by letting them look at my post history?
I bet if you find a few sheep/goat people to talk with, things might level out a bit. It may sound weird, but you need to (and likely will) get to a point where you can embrace what makes you different... whether you choose to act on it or not is another whole topic. I'd be glad to talk if it helps!
As mentioned here a few days ago, you will not "end up lobotomised in the psych ward" in any first-world country, but do use common sense with who you tell what to.
Some of what you're talking about (society's disapproval, parents'/friends' disapproval) unfortunately may not change... but there are other friends out there who may be more accepting, and there are, frankly, coping strategies.
Please do make an effort to get to know a couple people, if nothing else some people who can help you out of depression or moments of "wanting out." There are lots of genuine people online who have no issue being around people who are depressed for valid reasons... especially since lots of us have gone through that same thing and know the importance of friends at those times.
Good luck on your journey... and hey, it's not so desolate here!
I guess I was disgusted at first around my teen years but over the years I just grown to be disgusted with people in general. Everyone's so bent on everyone being like and thinking like themselves that they get outright militant when something different comes along. I do not find my attraction a problem. I'm not hurting anyone, any animal.
My only advice is, use an internet proxy if you want to browse or discuss your taboo interests. Don't worry about finding others like yourself. It's just too damn rare and the people you do find tend to hyperfocus on just this one thing. It's just, people who freely share this stuff with strangers tend to be a bit, off. It's cool to know that someone else doesn't mind what you get off too, or maybe that they too get off to it but then what? Entire friendship based off porn and sex fantasies? Kind of boring and a little creepy.
I'm not at all shaming you for wanting to find others. If I ever found out one of my friends was a zoophile then I would probably be pretty elated, but given the chances of finding a nice sane local zoo person I'll just keep my sexual fantasies between my wife and I.
You are not sick, and being a zoophile doesn't mean you need help. Feeling like your are disgusting can lead to depression which is a terrible feeling which may require help but please don't be upset with what you're attracted to. You can't help that anymore than others can help their desires.
There's a big difference between a friendship "based around porn and sex fantasies," versus a friendship with someone who shares your values, which you know will be intact even if the person finds out certain information about you.
Personally I find it extremely comforting to have people I'm pretty sure I can trust in the world.
This is exactly right, I find it hard to relate to other people, knowing that If I was found out, they will be first to grab the pitchforks and start a witch-hunt.
Deception is incredibly taxing on a person, especially if it's something that is a cornerstone of who you are and you are not used to doing so. Being expressive in some way can help, in my experience, whether it's out in public or behind closed doors is up to you.
Maybe, maybe not. Mine don't seem to mind the company of a dogfucker. Shy of a dozen close friends I have know and sometimes talk to me about it. You just might have some awesome friends and not know, like I did for several years.
If you feel like you need a real life vent, I would recommend seeing a psychologist. Do not, under no uncertain terms, see a psychiatrist. They are the ones who use meds and confinement for treatment. Psychologists cannot break confidentiality unless you seem to be an immediate threat to yourself or others, or if your records are pulled for investigation for a different crime; can only issue referrals to see other professionals, not assign treatment plans directly; and will offer a grounding support in a shaky situation.
If you need a friend, just PM me.
If you live in the United States, I would greatly recommend seeing a psychologist. They're bound to confidentiality in a situation like this.
I don't think your families and friends would truly turn their backs on you if they knew, though. That doesn't mean there's any pressure to come out to them or anything, but a sexual attraction to sheep would be something that would be more of a "that's kind of weird, don't get near my dog haha" kind of deal unless they're hyperconservative. That might not sound too reassuring, but it's better to be the punchline to a joke than a pariah.
Joining zoo internet communities might help. Many of my friends online are better friends than ones I know in real life, and there's nothing shameful about that-- the internet allows you to build companionships with likeminded people rather than being based on circumstance.
Sheep, huh? How do you know that you're attracted to sheep? Do you see them a lot? Do many of them live around where you live? Sheep seem like nice animals.
I think sheep are beautiful, when I'm near one exceptionally beautiful, I get the hardest boner ever. No. No. That's what they are supposed to be, nice animals, livestock, not a romantic partner...
When I say that they seem like "nice animals" to me that doesn't mean that I think they can't be a romantic partner to a human. Niceness and sexiness I think go hand in hand, wouldn't they? or hand in hoof. Do you live in a rural area?
no man they are wonderfully beautiful beings, the soft fur, the cute face and fuzzy long ears, anyone who would treat one of those creatures as just a meal on legs is a little sick in the head or just very disconnected from the reality of the matter.
Let me ask you just one thing: do you think you became alienated from your own life because you´re a "zoo" or is it the other way around and you were alienated before and now are (ab-)using zoophilia as an attention raiser/cry for help?
There´s one simple rule: If a habit is affecting your life negatively, then try to abandon it or get yourself support to abandon it. You won´t be "lobotomized" or drugged up to the brim with psycho pills unless you approve this kind of treatment yourself. Even if you´re a complete nutjob, you still have rights and psychiatric treatment isn´t something that will force you to endure treatment you don´t want.
Calm down and view your little "obsession" a bit more objectively. Life with zoophilia isn´t the easiest you can have, admitted. But it isn´t a complete chore of hardship either.And it isn´t something you cannot change if you really want it to change. If your obsession with animal sex is learned, you can "unlearn" it by simply avoiding anything related to animal sex. It surely won´t work overnight, but with a little discipline and inner strength, you can overcome what makes you suffer. It isn´t uncommon for many to lose interest in animal sex over time....I´ve met many who told me "I´m totally zoo" one day...and a few months later they lost any interest completely. In most cases, it is only a temporary phase of desorientation and/or try out behavior...
Not necessarily. If it's sufficiently well-ingrained, simply avoiding it isn't enough; you have to have something to replace it with. I believe that my interest in animals was originally learned, but it was learned at an early enough age that that attraction flourished instead of one to other people. Consequently, though I've tried (and succeeded, to some extent) to suppress acting out towards dogs, that hasn't helped to change my attractions. If I were to also actively engage in sexual activity with people it might start to shift, but I have no interest in doing that. Those who are attracted to both people and animals have a better chance of "just avoiding it" working since they have another sexual outlet, but for zoo exclusives like myself it's not enough.
If you could (or already have) put this down in writing somewhere, I would be very interested to hear about your learned experience and what you have attempted in order to to suppress your... feelings(?), if it's not too personal to ask.
You'll find part of it here: https://www.reddit.com/r/zoophilia/comments/3pg0cx/im_scared_that_i_will_get_shock_therapy/cw641ru
And, from knotty.me: "I don't think I was born zoo, but I do think that my personality lent itself towards that. I'm very introverted, was home-schooled through high school, and wasn't ever very social. I tend to care a lot both for animals as well as other people, but the average animal tends to reciprocate better than the average human. So, when I hit puberty, my best friend was the family dog, and things naturally leaned that direction. If I didn't already have a dog I was close to, or if I had more human friends, things may have gone differently. As it is, I'm exclusively sexually attracted to dogs but can care a great deal emotionally for close human friends as well (now that I actually have a couple)."
Interesting, thanks for sharing. I see what you mean.
If you study non-humans enough, you will learn that they are not as picky as humans regarding sex partners. Reading up on the Bonobo Ape will be a real eye opener also.
Attraction is "the body wants what it wants" and there is little our minds can do to rule our bodys attractions. As some examples I say, look at the guys who are sexually attracted to grossly obese females. The average guy generally finds such women disgusting, and could not be forced to have sex with one. Look at all the people who are gay and hate being gay. They have no choice because it's what their body is attracted to sexually. Of course sexual attraction depends also on "how" attracted you are. Kinsey's scale of 0 - 6 is worth looking up to understand this. The more you are at one end of the scale or the other, the less choice you have of your orientation. But if you gravitate towards the middle of the scale, only then do you have a real choice to go one direction or the other.
I certainly think my aberrant attraction for sheep is a major factor in my alienation. It exists and is a source of anxiety and self-hatred. I may not be a seasoned veteran of sexual deviancy like yourself, but I'm well on my way.
That's not true in my country, if the therapist or psychiatrist decides I'm a threat to myself or to others, off to the psychiatric hospital I go.
I have no idea how it could be learned behaviour, the thoughts just surfaced in my mind on their own when I was about 13 years old. I do hope what you say is true though, I want it gone.
Zoophilia may or may not be learned behavior (Jury's still out on that one), but it is incredibly diffilcult to treat I am afraid.
That said, if it is causing you so much grief, you probably should try. If you don't mind me asking, what country? If that's too specific, maybe the continent/region will do.
I feel there has to be an option for you.
I've made peace with my zoophilia (mine too came when I was about 13 years old BTW). I like deer which are kinda similar to sheep in some ways (though not as accessable). I can relate to your struggle, so please listen when I say this, as I say it with all my belief and experience behind it:
You should first and foremost try to accept yourself. If you fail at that try again. If you still fail at that and/or are not happy, try to change.
I wish you luck whatever road you take. Know that you are not alone in this struggle, regardless.
LMAO
Fact: The body wants what it wants. You'll understand this someday.
My first zoophile experience was a dream of me kneeling naked behind a cow that was laying down, but I was so young I didn't know what I was doing really. Next was around age 15 behind some bushes as a paperboy, with a female dog licking my penis till I came on her tongue. It just sort of happened. This whole time I was a Christian. Then age 16 I finally kissed a girl. Age 19 had sex with a girl. Then had a mostly normal life sexually, but in the back of my mind there was always an attraction to animals. It wasn't until around age 40 that I finally got to a point where I had actual penetrative sex with an animal.
Don't be too hard on yourself. Youth is a tough time for everyone.
I think psychologists have an unnecessarily bad reputation. Lobotomy is part of the past. There are good therapists out there, but you might need to take your time and look for one who knows how to talk about zoophilia. I've gone through the same thing, but I did find therapists who did not judge me for my zoophilia, and instead focused on the real problems: low self-esteem and depression. My recommendation is that you always go to a professional psychologist, not some random counselor or therapists who work with pseudo science (regression therapy, etc).
It can be hard to realise you're a zoophile, and realising that some people would hate you just for that. But there are also plenty of people who don't really care one way or the other. The haters are very loud, yes. But there are also those who think "well, it's strange, but I guess it's not my business". These kind of mild and neutral opinions are not talked about often though, because why make a big deal out of just not caring?
I've been able to "come out" as a zoo for some people. My boyfriend (who turned out to be one himself, but for other species), my mother, some therapists, and a couple of friends. But you have to be careful about it.
Welcome. You should not feel bad about your attraction: I also find sheep sexy. Taking an educated guess I feel that you currently don't have a sheep/sexual outlet in your life and this is making you bitter. You need to find a balance between your animal desires and your human social life. Ideally you could have your own sheep farm at your own place while still keeping your current friends.
I am very sorry to hear this, I know what kind of pain it can bring to feel this way. Though I am not a zoophile myself I know how it can feel to feel unable to tell those close to you something. If you need somebody to chat with sometime feel free to message me. I can not promise the best advice but I can promise a non-judgmental ear and my best effort at advice. This offer is open to all others here (and really anywhere I guess) if anybody else needs it as well.
As a 'sheep fucker' myself I can say that some people might surprise you, I have several close friends from highschool who knew about my zoophilic love way before I had ever acted on it, I would talk about it to then and they generally didn't seem to mind and one of my closest friends even helped me move back to our home town and into a nice little farm house were I currently reside with my two sweet ewes and lovely. However that being said I will tell you that it does not matter if you have humans like you for who you really are, I mean honestly, their usefulness as a friend is that they can do the few things with you that your future animals can't, stuff like have verbal conversations, play certain sports and just human type interactions you might like, they don't need to know your sex life for any of that. Now as to why you feel self disgust I'm unsure and that sounds pretty sad to be frank and the only thing that will help you is coming to terms with who you are, because if you ask me you're not the disgusting one, it's all the people who who are having sex with humans.
Cheer up : ) Srsly.
How old are you?
Here's the thing. Once you are old enough to get your own land, you can have all the sheep you want and no one will question if you are a zoophile or not. Many people raise sheep for their wool, for meat, or even as pets and no one thinks a thing about it. Never tell ANYONE IRL about your sexual thing. ONLY Reddit. And never give out RL details of where you live.
I was a little like you back in 1998 when I first got online and posted to alt.sex.bestiality on USENET and a fellow named Stasia helped me come to terms with my attraction to dogs and horses.
And if you're disgusted because of your religion, you may be in for another shock, if that religion is Christianity. The God of Christianity is a false God and Christianity is BS. So there is really no one to hold you back but yourself.
How do I deal? Pure spite, I exist simply to indulge in my own interests, my plans are only far enough for my protection and my personal hedonism.
I understand those fears that everyone will betray you, most families would throw their own under the bus just to save face. Screw them, this is why you need to get on your own two feet. Once you don't need to rely on them you can slowly start building bonds with like minded people. Other zoo's or non-zoos who will accept you as you are.
You can choose your family but you can sure as hell replace them with better friends. Don't beat yourself up about what you are because a careful look at the people in your life will show they aren't pure, they only dislike most things due to indoctrination. Do you concern yourself with the thoughts of individual ants? Then those in your family who cannot think reasonably or objectively are just as significant.