Keeping stuff bottled up is never healthy. As a 24 yo young man one life lesson I've learned is to find someone you can confide in.
If you have the money I highly recommend finding a good therapist. I know, I know, the stigma. There doesn't have to be anything wrong with you for good therapy to be, well, good therapy.
They have strict confidentiality. You'd have to be an immediate risk to yourself or others for them to mention anything without your permission, and their entire career can end if they break confidentialy.
Also, experienced therapists have heard it all before. Animal fucker? Nothing new. You can have not only safety but a solid, well educated, third person opinion.
It's not all about advice, either. I had one of the few social settings where I could just talk about the ills in this world that bother me over coffee. I never mention how badly upset and bitter I am over high kill shelters putting down millions of dogs, when I love dogs to the extent of regarding my sweet pup as my significant other.
I never do talk about how I'm bothered by the thought of lab dogs killed for research to improve the vet care for my own dog. Or the lack of humane interstate public transport for pets. Or how the HOA is responsible for the euthanasia of many dogs due to their damn breed restrictions; that is, when entire cities don't discriminate against dogs, not to mention countries.
I get so pissed off and stuff like that really contributes to my misanthropy and preference for canid company. I could pay my therapist for an hour of her time to just air these grievances, and it was wonderful. I could ask her frankly and honestly if she found anything at all cruel within my amorous realationship with my rather unusual girlfriend (she didn't). She even let me bring my dog in with me to sessions! :) Had to stay off the furniture though.
Now if you can't afford a therapist, consider opening up to your most trusted friend. Being able to just plain call someone when you need to is awesome. I'm thankful for a close circle of friends who are happy to tolerate me for who I am, even if one of em got way too wasted and blurted out my sexual preference to the entire bar.
Which leads to another point. The internet is fire. The real world isn't so dramatic. Oh, but Mr. Throwaway Account, I'm a criminal everywhere and I could lose my pupper and go to jail... Not likely just my means of casual or snarky remarks.
When my friend had his Amazing Drunk Moment? Everyone just laughed. One guy bought me a beer and said "I knew it." I enjoyed some more billiards and drinking. Nobody cared.
Lastly there's a place and time for internet anonymity. I'm honestly an exceedingly modest person. Aye I've been a rowdy trucker, I love shootin pool in bars, but you get to know me... I love cooking, gardening, and puppies, and MLP isn't a bad show to just unwind with after dealing with an awful real world.
I could never imagine saying something like Did you know dogs can learn to give great bjs with patience and very gently showing her what to do the first few times? in real life. I'd sooner step on a lego.
TL;DR Try to find at least one person in the real world who you really know and trust to talk about anything with. It takes a lot of stress off.
You should read some of the stuff from this thread, and watching the video too doesnt hurt either.
https://www.reddit.com/r/zoophilia/comments/6f2m92/coming_out_ns_ssfw/
Just dont want us to end up having a conversation that we just had a few weeks ago :)
My recommendation to anyone considering a therapist would be don't ever mention that you actually have sex with animals. Therapists are required to keep everyhing confidential yes, until you do something illegal, or something harmful to others. Bestiality is now illegal in most states, and depending on the opinion of your therapist they might consider it harmful to animals and feel required to report you. It all depends on the therapist though, I've heard from some zoos who have had great experiences with them. But you need to be cautious, is all I'm saying.
I think they may also report you if you only say that you have a sexual attraction to dogs as they may consider you an imminent danger to dogs.
Yes, check exactly how the rules for confidentiality work where you live. For instance, where I live, they have to report "serious criminality" (crimes that can get you 2 years of prison). So after my country banned bestiality (and in theory, it could give you 2 years), I haven't mentioned zoophilia any more. And if I would bring it up, I would only talk about the attraction and not admit to any sexual experience with animals.
I had a really great therapist once, before bestiality was banned. But I lost touch with him when I got over the depressive episode I had back then. Even when I got depressed again, I couldn't get an appointment again, I think he quit.
As much as that can go right, it can also go very wrong. I think is better to get emotional support from other zoos in an anonymous way. At least till you are able to handle potential bigotry in person.
I agree. I've been seeing the same therapist for almost 10 years now, for other struggles though. I haven't talked about this with him yet, but that's not because I don't trust him but because it's actually not worse than the other problems I'm working in with him at the moment. Although I also feel the big need to talk about this matter with someone I can trust, so that's why I'm considering telling him sooner or later, but a friend would be good too.
There are many things I told my psychologist and nobody else, and even though a psychologist is helpful, sometimes you might just need also a friend, someone that you don't pay to talk with. It can be better sometimes, but that's just me.
I only told 3 persons about my orientation so far, and none of them are people I know IRL, but internet people I know for almost 10 years now too, so I know them enough to know if I can trust them or not, and I was right, but internet is not the same as IRL. I really wish I had someone I could trust as much IRL, but IRL is worse because it can backfire and ruin my life. Even if I die a virgin, saying I'm only attracted to a certain species can make people suspice and judge me, since for most people, being a zoophile is the same as being a pedophile/rapist. If you are a pedophile and go around saying you would love to rape a child, you will get your life ruined, even if you never do it, and zoophilia doesn't even necessarily imply rape, but people believe it's synonimous of rape, a thing as bad as pedophilia and they really won't change their minds about that, it's a lost cause, and it really is so unfair.
I appreciate animals so much that I don't even eat meat nor other animal products and dislike how mankind abuses animals in many other regards too. I'm not a crazy vegan that goes criticizing everyone, in fact I never even talk about it unless I'm asked, but I find animals as important as humans, there's no superiority from my perspective, yet they would think I'm the animal hater and they the animal lovers if I talk about my sex drive in public.
Anyways, these are some of the things I'd like to talk with people I trust, and if possible, more personal things too. There's a relative I trust almost as much as one of these I told on the inet, but the sole fact of it being a relative and a person that knows me IRL makes it more risky, because even if I trust him now, he can change in the future and fuck my life up. I have tons of paranoid thoughts. And the people I told this on the inet aren't even into it, they just don't judge me, but I can't share very personal thoughts with them because they don't actually care about it, they just respect me.
Good stuff. I especially like how you differentiated between the Internet, which makes it really easy to polarize people and demonize those you disagree with, and real life. When your "enemy" (for lack of a better word) has a name and a face, it's a lot harder to dismiss them as a horrible creature merely because they feel differently than you. There are limits, of course (I wouldn't put being a zoo on a volunteer form at an animal shelter, for example), but in the right environment, having people to confide in makes being zoo a lot easier to handle for both you and your confidants.
For example, I most recently came out to a couple of friends of mine, largely because they were dealing with serious shit (still are, but it's not my story to tell) and I thought it would let them know what kinds of skeletons I have in my closet, for lack of a better word, and take their minds off their problems for a bit. Showing them my rougher edges, to an extent, helped them open up more and showed a decent amount of trust, which I can hopefully use to help them further. They aren't at all interested in the details, but we still joke about it occasionally.
That statement is only true if your "enemy" doesn't depersonalize you in real life.
I agree it's very important to have a support group but, at the risk of being a wet blanket, I'm not convinced therapists or trusted offline friends are a great way to build it (assuming you have close human friends in the first place, which a lot of zoophiles don't).
After a couple years of discussing this topic, I'm led to think some people have really liberal social groups or liberal places of residence where they can get away with such things and not risk crucifixion. If so, I'm really happy for you! But I don't think that approach works for a lot of people.
Maybe someone can say, where is a good place to find nonjudgmental human friendship? As I think about where I spend my time around people (work, technology groups, the barn), I really can't think of anyone that comes to mind. There's always furry groups but those go either way. Maybe I need to go take art classes or go back to university for a program in philosophy.